Something to your Parents that you regret & can't aplogize enough for?

I have, but will tell after others do.

 

I can't imagine anyone having not said something they seriously regret.

I have said a few things in recent years to my dad in the heat of arguments (we both have the same temper unfortunately) that I will forever regret and have to live with. I love him with all my heart, he is an inspiration as both a man and a father. I truly cherish him. My hope is he took them as being said without thought, and knows I really didn't mean what I said. He is 81 and I know I won't have him around too much longer.

 

Yeah. To my dad who isn't here anymore. It's not so much what I said, as opposed to what I didn't say. That being a lie rather than a truth. All goes back to one lack of better judgement when I was young and stupid.

 

There was once (year ago) a guy in my life (45 years) that said (at 36) to his Dad > he wishes he was Dead .
That's right, This supposed man (who lived at home until he was 38) wished his dad was Dead,all for saying hi to me (using a nickname I had since I was 10 years old) when I entered ths home.

I have thought about this since it happened, how could someone to took advantage of his parents for that long (28 years as a student) living at home until 38 could talk to a parent that way?
His was also very rude with his Mother on a daily basis.

They died within a few years of that, Mother (in 3 years) and Dad (in 7 years).

The worst I had probably said to my parents was:"You don't want me to go,because you know I will be having Fun"

 

Well all have fights and say things that we regret.

That is the learning process of life. Just don't keep on doing it over and over. Learn from your mistakes.

I think I said something tonight to my parents I regret...

Bryan#50

 

I regret nothing I did say, I just regret things I did not say. I truly wish I had said something about the anquish and pain caused by them to all their children, especially me, when they murdered my twin. And the dysfunctional life they condemned my younger sister to, after years of molestation... But, I suppose that ain't quite what you were aiming at, was it..

 

Wow, theo. I'm so very sorry to hear that.

As for saying things you regret. Yeah, we all do so, in anger or for some other foolish reason. My advice...and I speak from the education of a foolish person with 20/20 hindsight.... take the time to tell your parents how much you really love them. Share the time you can with them, NOW, before they are gone forever. I look at my dad's picture every day and am so saddened that he died at 55 and we never did get to do as much as we should have been able to together. Most of it was my fault for being a young hellion, freshly back from Vietnam, free spirited, bull headed and to top it off...a danged drunken party boy. Then, I'd rather be with my friends than my family. I went to holiday gatherings with my friends and shunned my family. It is something I will always regret and cannot do anything about now that they are both gone forever.

My best friend and his dad were at each others throat for years. There was just no way his dad would give an inch. Finally, Jerry started helping his dad out on the farm and eventually took it over. By the time his dad died, Jerry and him were best of friends. And his dad even accepted me as part of the family.

Take the time to love those who love you. Sometimes harsh words are said by all of us. We just need a little time to understand where those words came from and why...then perhaps problems can be worked out. Make it a point to get together and make sure they know how you deeply feel..no matter what is said and done.

 

My dad and I used to fight like cats and dogs.. On many occasions it came to an outright fist fight .. I was young just out of the Corps. and thought I was on top of the world.. Then whne my liver shut down from all the drugs and drinking the first one to the hospital was my dad... We are the best of friends now because it made me realise..I loved him as much as he loved me

 

I forgot all about this thread. Show that my visits here have been shortened a little.

Anyhow......

About 10 years ago, my Mother worked at a plastics factory. I worked at a different factory across town working with plastics.
She had seen what I was making per hour & all the benefits that were giving to me. I guess this made her jealous, I don't know. But she begged me for months to get her in there to work.

Well, I finally pulled a few strings & got her a interview. She was hired because of her experience & a few helpful kudo's from me (mostly her experience).

I remember her first day fondly. She approached me and asked me to do something for her at work. I guess she made the request sound so motherly because it upset me. To tell you the truth, I can't even remember what she had asked me to do for her. But I do remember my response.
I had told her that "Before 7 a.m. & after 3:30 p.m. you're my mother, but anytime in between that your just a co-worker to me."

I still remember her face after I said that. She looked so hurt & never made a response to me. I later apologized for it & still continue to apologize every time I even think about it, which is often.

That is the worst thing that I have ever said to my mother & I regret it. She raised my brother, sister, & myself by herself. No help from my father & no child support. I owe that woman my life & all the respect in the world. I will also continue apologizing to her.

 

Instead of apologizing all the time, try saying, " Mom, do you have any idea how much I love you?" Then, if the conversation continues, tell her how much you appreciate her raising your family, her strength and the unspoken words of love she gave you every day. Love and time heals all wounds. Allow the memory of that day to die...and rest in peace.

 

Best and worst day of my life was when I was 19 and told my dad I loved him. Best because it was good to say, worst because I realized what an idiot I could be at times and that I should have said it sooner. We've had a few arguments since then but I can honestly say my dad is my best friend.

 

My parents divorced when I was young like 5 or something; my mom went into a deep depression and was very distant. She eventually got a job working nights and my older siblings had their night life to attend to so I got left alone a lot. Other events happened that shouldn't have happened and by the age of 7 I was attempting to kill myself.

Later I took a large felt pen and wrote on my bedroom wall "I hate you mom"... I did that a couple of times and told her once or twice that she never loved me.

I'm honestly not sure if I feel regret for those things. My mother and I aren't very close. She met me after school one day when I was about 14 and wanted to buy me coffee and it was like talking to someone I had met a couple days before. I paid for my own coffee and left to smoke pot with my friends.

Anyone else want to open a can or worms?

 

My dad was the coach of a men's softball team that I played on about 18 years ago. He put another player in for me and pulled me from the game. I was the pitcher and doing a bad job that day. But I thought that I was God of the pitching mound and nobody could tell me any different. My wife and our baby daughter were there also. I got so mad at my dad that I told him that I never wanted to see him again and he could never see his granddaughter. Over a dumb ballgame. I think it was 2 days later that I went to see him and told him that I was out of place and very sorry. I didn't mean any of what I said. With tears in his eye's, he said he knew that. Things changed that day. My dad is my best friend and my father. We still don't agree on all things and never will. But that day will never happen again. He was there when my colon reputured and rushed me to the hospital. He was there when I got my first deer. He wasn't there when I got my first piece however. All though he told his boys that he needed to be to make sure it was done right. I Love my parents so very much. Dad sent me this story, and I think it will fit just fine here.

At an airport I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her plane's departure and standing near the door, he said to his daughter, "I love you. I wish you enough."

She said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy." They kissed good-bye and she left.

He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?

"Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done ! for me.

Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face-to-face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" I asked. "I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral," he said.

"When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' "May I ask what that means?" He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone."

He paused for a moment-and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them," he continued, and then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

! "I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.


I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough 'Hello's' to get you through the final 'Good-bye.' "

He then began to sob and walked away.


To all my fellow FTE friends, I also wish you enough.

Tom

 

Back at you, TWolf. Thanks.

Parks, Just keep telling her you love her and honor her. That'll do more than any amount of continued apologizing.

Erik

 

Lord but I do love these forums. The heartfelt feelings and emotions, shared by virtual strangers....creating almost another whole family. Thanks guys, and Tom, for sharing all your innermost thoughts and feelings. You really get to know some people here.