1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

2. Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.”

3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool lane?

6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (sound it out...)

11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

13. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

14. Stop singing and read on..........

15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad
at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? ...

 

haha, i love these little one liners that make ya think. ive found pages upon pages of them before.

 

ever wonder who was the first person to look at the stuff oozing out of a mapel tree thinking that would be good on my breakfast?

 

And just how many days without food does it take for snails,mussels,clams or oysters to look good?

 

The first man to eat an oyster was an intrepid soul indeed (or at least very hungry).

 

Who was the first "Cajun" to look at crawfish (mud bugs) and said let's boil them rip the shell off the tails eat it and suck the head...?

 

So, how hungry was the Scotsman, who dismembered a dead sheep, minced it's heart, liver and lungs, then stuffed the whole mess into the animal's stomach? Did he decide first to add the oatmeal and spices, or was that the contribution of the first brave soul to try it..

Haggis is actually very nice, just so long as you don't think about it too much.

 

::shutters::

 

With the exception of the snails, about 4 hours

 

why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway

i've often wondered about the first person to eat something.

why does time fly so fast but when your waiting for the popcorn in the microwave, those four minutes take forever ?

 

oyster stew

 

Its physically impossible to lick your elbows...

All those are funny.

oh, and stop tring to lick your elbows...

 

can a blind man truely see what you are saying?

what would happen if the immovable object was struck by the unstoppable force?

how can one thing have so many meanings?
IE "Secure the building"
Army locks doors and turns off lights
Navy Posts guards at doors and checks all incoming / outgoing personel
Marines Blow it up and set perimter
Air Force gets 6 year lease with option to buy

HMMMMMMMMMM

Ron

 

Raw Oysters, 1 drop lemon juice, two drops Tobasco.
mmmm....Escargot
steamed mussles.....okay
Clams......mmmmmm
Conch...awsome

 

i can only answer one of them. Theres no light in the freezer because it would explode. oh, i didnt know we were being funny.