For me, I thought it was something I would never have to deal with. As teens we live life like we can never die, like we are superman. When a friend dies at a young age, this fantasy world crashes down. Here in my town, we just had our second suicide. Well, the story goes that he (John Post) was in college and went to the local walmart and killed himself, thats all we know. I never really knew him, but it still pains me to hear of his death. I lost my best friend on August 2 last year, 2 days after my birthday. He had recently turned 16 himself. It was something I could never really understand. My friend, Jeff, was bi polar and that might have played into his death. It never made sense to me why someone with so much to look foward to would do such a thing. Many people dont understand that if you cant pull yourself out of a hole in life, suicide may seem the only option. I my self have been there and I can say that it is very hard to look to the light at the end of the tunnel. If you look at your family and friends and you see that they love you, that can make all the difference. I still wish that something would've happened to jeff to make him think, what the hell am I doing this is stupid. If he couldve saw all the people who came to his funeral and all those who cared, maybe he wouldve changed his mind. With the aniversary of my friends death comming soon, I feel the need to go the cemetary and put some ghosts to rest and have a good talk. My only comfort now is knowing that he is watching over us and will still be there when I need someone to talk to.

God rest your soul buddy, your were more than a friend could ask for.
JR 8/2/03

 

Too bad. Had one in our family--didn't understand the impact when it happened. Have my own kids now and just can't imagine how tough it was for my relatives.

My mom set me straight on this one time when she had had it with my youthful whimpering. I can remember the anger in her voice when she talked about what the survivors go through when a young person is lost. "Every holiday, every birthday, every day of the week for the rest of their lives...." they will carry the memory and it's burden.

Well--you'll move on and fill your life up with happier times and it will crowd this into a back corner.

Maybe you can help someone else down the road.

Good luck.

 

I tried to write something comforting, but gave up. As you grow older, you will come to understand how the pain you feel now will make you stronger and wiser. Go forward from now on, stay postive and be the best person you possibly can be. Take the memories of old friends with you, and they will help you get thru each day.

 

Sorry to hear of your tribulations. Just wanted to point out to any parents reading this how important it is to never minimize mental health factors in youth...and how they contribute to suicide. Its a tough period of time regardless, but sometimes a good therapist can make all the difference, along with supportive parents.

 

I'm really sorry for your lose. It is hard to imagine how somebody can think of taking their own life. Only time will help you to deal with the pain you have. I lost my brother seven years ago this coming August 7 in an ATV accident, five days after my 16th birthday. It was hard to deal with and I don't think there was a day go by for two years that I didn't think about his death or just death in general. I did learn from it though and realized that life can be so short and you need to be the best person you can be and do what really makes you happy in life. Because of his death I decided I didn't want to go to college because there wasn't anything that interested me there and I stayed home to work on our family farm and ranch. I've been happy the last four years and haven't regretted it yet. I really enjoy what I'm doing and still don't have any other interests. You have to look for the good in any bad situation and learn from it. Even though it hurts I'm sure it will help you to be a better person for the rest of your life.

 

(Author unknown)

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really
should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.
As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen
him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty
cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes.We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the
books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began."Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his
locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.Not until that moment did I realise it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life.For better or for worse. Through the course of our lives we all impact one another in some way. Look for goodness in others.

 

Great post Dennis!

 

Wow that was powerful. Makes you wonder how many peoples lives you have altered by the way you have treated them whether it be bad or good. as a mom I always have that little fear in the back of my head that something like this may happen to one of my tater tots. I have one that is mentally slow and gets teased at school. They never see his heart. I myself have to catch myself when I am getting frusterated with him for things he is doing wrong or when he is just plain being obnoxious. I have a band geek/brainiac who has always been dogged for being so smart and musical. She has always been strong enough to know their respect level is at a low setting. I also have a few miss and mr populars who i pray I have taught well (along with all my others) to respect others feelings. They are all really so open hearted I dont worry about them picking on someone but I know it can happen.
I pray nightly for all the children in this world who are dogged, trashed, beat on, spit on, ridiculed, and just treated with such disrespect. I hate the thought of any child being hurt physically or mentally.

 

RE: Kyle--I think this is one of those urban myth things. Am checking but can't prove it up yet. Sorry, as it's a good story. Will update if I can find what I looked at a while back about this.

 

Rain.......Parade....
The story is still a Great one even if it is made up

 

Thanks guys, it has been hard but jeffs death really brought all of us closer together. It is just the unknown of the whole thing. The first day of school this year was tough. I could tell people and myself would sometimes look for him, or see someone who looks like him from behind. All of us really banded together and we rode it out. The memories that we have and share keep the skys blue and brighten up any day. I feel horrible for his family, he was their only son. They have 2 other children, both in college both girls. No father should live to see his own son die, especialy like that. Im glad I can come there and talk, I really apreciate it. Yall are good folk 'round these parts!!

 

when i was a kid i had these kids in HS i was a freshman 9th grader and i was picked on to the point where i would not want to walk the same halls after the bell rang for the fear of being picked on and beaten on...i would wait 2 min or so after the bell rang and just sit in the class till i thought it was safe....i then would run to my next class.....in the locker room in the gym i was assaulted daily by jocks who thought it would be ok to hurt the lil guy......i had my head split one time that required 11 stitches by a guy in the locker room....he and some buddys soaped the shower room floor up with dishwashing liquid and they threw me in litterally.....i slipped and hit my head on the shower ****....no one would stop laughing long enough to see the blood seeping through my hair and onto the shower floor....the coach came in to see what was so funny and seen me and rushed me to the nurse who then called an ambulance. When i got back they joked about how funny it was even though i never once did anything mean to them....this one guy in particular ill never forget him as long as i live....his name was david....he picked on me to the point where i hated going to school....he would embarass me in fromt of people and call me names and hit me etc....they got into spit ***** and i was of course their personal target....how embarassing is it to have spit wads in your hair and all over your body...then to maks things worse if they missed they would just launch spit through the straw onto me...the girl who i had a huge crush on at the time sat 3 chairs behind me so she would see them picking on me....i got no respect at all....they egged my locker one time and one guy kicked me all the way to the bus in the afternoon.....i was a little guy in 9th grade.....i started school at 4 which made me a year behind everyone else....and to boot i was really thin....well one afternoon after being beat up and humiliated again i got on the bus and after the 30 min bus ride of having my ears thumped and books thrown under seats and getting beat on some more i got home.....well i broke into my dads gun case and grabbed his handgun it was a Colt Python .357 mag and a box of shells....it was going to be colombine (SP?) i planned it out...i was going to get to school and in 1st period i would shoot david...then i would take the school by storm.....there was no deputys in the schools at that time only the deans and such....well i tucked the gun in my bag and got on the bus that next morning....i rode silently to school as the people picked on me it was as if it were going on in the background as i was so focused on my task.....i had the gun loaded and ready...i was thinking of what to say to him to make him feel as bad as i did every day before i killed him.....i planned on making him take off his clothes and sit naked in front of the class while i beat him with the yardstick untill he cried in front of everyone.....i got there and he was not in class.....so i was dissapointed went to 2nd period and thought about who was next....it was gonna be sammy he was the butt head who pulled the soap in shower stunt that got me hurt......well i was about to go to the next class when the principal came into my class with my DAD???!!! my dad grabbed me and hugged me as the principal picked up my duffel bag and secured the weapon....we went to the office and i ended up in counseling for awhile....i was expelled from school for the gun but i was glad.....my problem is that i wont hurt myself if i have a probelm....i hurt other people who hurt me.....idda never killed myself idda just took as many of them with me as possible before the cops ended me.....i ran into david a few years later and forgave him and we became great friends....he came up missing about 7 months ago and they never found his body....i guess the concrete held up huh??...just playing he is still one of my best friends...boy im glad i didnt do what i planned on doing...id have never been able to do any of the things ive been able to do....i grew up and realized that kids are just cruel and they allways will be...thanks for listening to this sorry it was so long.

 

After a suicde in my area a while ago some of us were sitting around talking about it and one of the guys stated, " Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem".

 

This was a thread that I did NOT want to open and read....
but it IS something that needs to be discussed...

Suicide is the result of lost hope...
hope that it will get better, hope that the problems will end, hope that ... who knows..

BE a friend to someone today...

You all are so right how the smallest cruelty to (or really just ignoring of ) someone can be terrible.
I can't imagine what it's like to grow up in these cruel times... as a teenager it must be TOUGH !

We all need to remember that and look at our youngsters in a new light...

and losing a friend, relative, son /daughter to suicide will NEVER get better...
It will just get less worse each day... but it NEVER goes away... and it's the lost "What could have been...." that is the real tragedy....

Survivors of Suicide is a good resource for those that need it...

 

james's f_1_fiddy01--- Most people like that do verbal and physical harassment because they dont think they're real men. Real men KNOW they ARE real men and dont do stuff like that. Sounds like you had it worse than ive ever heard of, but ya made it through !! I learn to block out verbal harassment, or just tell them that the next time that are walkin down the street it might be their last . jus kiddin though...