When it comes to family members, siblings, friends, spouses etc, would you say you are a forgiving person or not.

When somebody angers me, I will stew for awhile, then things will settle out.

 

I let a lot of things slide, but it doesn't mean I have to forget, because that would be foolish. I learn from it, and try not to let it happen again. I may fire up at the time, but after I cool down, can generally deal with it and move on.

 

This is weird that i found this. My mom said some pretty cruel things to me over three years ago and I have not spoke a word to her since. (I dont know why I got mad anyway she has been that way to me but I had just had enough and I finally just washed my hands of her) Anyway God has been working my heart and last night I dialed her number (she is in cali I am in nc) and i got her machine. I did tell her I just wanted to say hello and that I love her. Who knows what will happen but the door has been opened. I am going to forgive her , as I am ready to do so for the crappy childhood and for the crappy teen years etc. I am a 40 y/o mom of 8 now and I have to just let the past go and get rid of the burden i have carried my entire life. So I would have to say forgiveness is the right thing.

 

I find it's best to make SURE they know something has happened that affected me...

I try NOT to do it in a mean way, just a firm, matter-of-fact way that this is a problem...

I do usually have to count to ten because SOME have said I react too quickly.... so I give it a second or two to think about my response....

I guess it's my past experiences that I want to make sure there is no doubt that we are on a path to a problem and try to stop it before it gets there....

My wife and I have a pact that even if there's really nothing wrong, but one of us senses that something is wrong, we talk about it to be sure....
sometimes it's something innocent and not meant to be an issue, most times though it's just a misinterpretation....

QH....
good for you !
I know nothing can bring back the past, but what you keep inside is really only hurting you, and it's good you let it go... knowing there's nothing you could have done about it !

 

i come from a portuguese family of 8 siblings. we range in age from the oldest at 50+ and me the youngest at 35. (4 boys and 4 girls). all of us have gotten mad, angry, ticked at each other at one point or another. We all just say our peace, and move along. there might be two siblings really mad at eachother and acting like nothing happened at the next family party. it took me awhile to learn to be like that 'cause i took everything real personally. i have gotten to the point where now i really don't give a rat's butt about what my siblings do or say. i have my family and that's all that matters. i do have one brother that has totally fallen from my graces. i will speak to him and be polite at family parties, but as far as i'm concerned, he is one of my mother's children, not a brother. in a nutshell, he can dish it out, but can't take a dose of his own medicine. and besides, he was the one who said "....then we're not brothers anymore". (long story).
anyway, i think i have a wierd family. my saving grace was when i learned not to take eveything so personally with them.

edited for content by FTE