i need some advice.
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Junior User
Joined: Apr 2004
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i need some advice.
i'm getting desperate. im sick and tired of all my friends showing up to friends night out with their girlfriends and im stuck alone. so my next friends night out is june 4th. and i really want to surprise the guys by finally getting a girlfriend. now honestly i cant just go asking random girls out, thats just not me. so what should i do? allthough now that i think about it, there is one girl i know, i've known her since highschool, and i wouold really like to ask her out. i always liked her. buuuuuut the only time i would ever see her is when i go to my chiropractors office. so i would feel really weird going in there to just ask her out. and shes not allways there when i go in. so how do i ask her out? without looking like a jack @$$. and what is something i should say? im kinda clueless when it comes to this stuff. what guy isnt? LOL! i really need some advise. and the biggest problem i have, is i have no idea if she allready has a boyfriend, or if she even likes me. allthough we were pretty good friends in highschool. any advise would be really helpful... thanks in advance.
The Pacifier
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 8,245
Likes: 7
From: Cloverdale, BC
Okay. Here's what you do. "Run into" her somewhere outside the chiropractor. Say "Hey, how's it going. Let's do coffee. My treat. There's a Starbucks across the street."
Then have a quick coffee with her. Make it short. No more than about 10 minutes. Say you got a job interview or something, but you'd like the chance to "catch up" some more. Mention that you and a bunch of friends are having a get-together and you'd like her to accompany you, so that "everyone" can do some catching up.
That way, she won't turn down a free coffee, but if she turns you down for the get-together, you won't look like a tool. It also leaves an opening for some other time to "catch up" if she can't do it on the 4th.
Hope that helps.
Then have a quick coffee with her. Make it short. No more than about 10 minutes. Say you got a job interview or something, but you'd like the chance to "catch up" some more. Mention that you and a bunch of friends are having a get-together and you'd like her to accompany you, so that "everyone" can do some catching up.
That way, she won't turn down a free coffee, but if she turns you down for the get-together, you won't look like a tool. It also leaves an opening for some other time to "catch up" if she can't do it on the 4th.
Hope that helps.
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Junior User
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only problem i have with that is how do i set it up so i run into her? if i did run into her, i would probably do just that. but what are the odds that i'll just run into her? id have to set it up somehow, and i have no freakin clue how to do that! the only time i ever "ran" into her was in college, but now im out for the summer.
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New User
Joined: Jan 2008
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Get an appointment for yourself.
While there arriving or leaving ,say to her: "I don't want to bother you hear at work, but please read this"
then hand her a business or personal card,with written on the back
"if it is possible I would like to go out with you", I already have a day/night picked out.
This way it is something that can't be overheard & you will either get a smile or a Deer with its eyes caught in the headlights look.
See what happens
Best of Luck
While there arriving or leaving ,say to her: "I don't want to bother you hear at work, but please read this"
then hand her a business or personal card,with written on the back
"if it is possible I would like to go out with you", I already have a day/night picked out.
This way it is something that can't be overheard & you will either get a smile or a Deer with its eyes caught in the headlights look.
See what happens
Best of Luck
The Pacifier
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 8,245
Likes: 7
From: Cloverdale, BC
Yeah, that would work too, Dennis.
Psycho Bob, for you to set something up like what I suggested "might" involve doing some "surveilance." While you are "surveilling" her is the perfect time to "run into" her. To keep yourself from looking like a stalker, you have to move fast, and strike first. Don't do it for more than a day. DON'T do it on a weekend. Do it during the week. If you can't do it by the end of that first day, then don't bother trying again for a few months. You will get caught. People see things, and people talk.
If she happens to be at a coffee shop already, then skip to the catching up part.
bigrigfixer's disclaimer:
"I'm not a stalker, have never been one, and do not intend to stalk anyone, but the above information I gave is from watching my buddies crash and burn. In trying to get a girl's attention, and tried a "little too hard" in the "surveillance" aspect, and were basically told to take a flying leap. So if you "try too hard" in the "surveillance" aspect as well, and end up getting caught too, then YOU DIDN'T GET THIS INFORMATION FROM ME!!!"
Psycho Bob, for you to set something up like what I suggested "might" involve doing some "surveilance." While you are "surveilling" her is the perfect time to "run into" her. To keep yourself from looking like a stalker, you have to move fast, and strike first. Don't do it for more than a day. DON'T do it on a weekend. Do it during the week. If you can't do it by the end of that first day, then don't bother trying again for a few months. You will get caught. People see things, and people talk.
If she happens to be at a coffee shop already, then skip to the catching up part.
bigrigfixer's disclaimer:
"I'm not a stalker, have never been one, and do not intend to stalk anyone, but the above information I gave is from watching my buddies crash and burn. In trying to get a girl's attention, and tried a "little too hard" in the "surveillance" aspect, and were basically told to take a flying leap. So if you "try too hard" in the "surveillance" aspect as well, and end up getting caught too, then YOU DIDN'T GET THIS INFORMATION FROM ME!!!"
Post Fiend
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 14,947
Likes: 6
From: Topsfield, MA
Calling her if she didn't give you her # isn't really a great thing. I'm 20 and am goin though the same thing, but I've figured some stuff out already. Usually what I do is will try to engage in a quick casual intro w/ something that she and I are doing, maybe standing in line or something...
Keep a good focus on what she does and says, these are all tips on whether or not she's interested in you. Just try to spark up a conversation, maybe about what shes doing or where you are together...something present. If shes friendly then procede to be more friendly. Say something like I don't get to see you very often but ...(depending on the situation you could throw in a "I think your nice"...or cute if u've talked to her alil bit)...I would like to get to know you a little better, (and throw in an offer for coffee or ask for her #). If she already has a bf, she'll tell you or let you know somehow. It's really not that difficult, just a hype I think. I'm getting better at it.
Keep a good focus on what she does and says, these are all tips on whether or not she's interested in you. Just try to spark up a conversation, maybe about what shes doing or where you are together...something present. If shes friendly then procede to be more friendly. Say something like I don't get to see you very often but ...(depending on the situation you could throw in a "I think your nice"...or cute if u've talked to her alil bit)...I would like to get to know you a little better, (and throw in an offer for coffee or ask for her #). If she already has a bf, she'll tell you or let you know somehow. It's really not that difficult, just a hype I think. I'm getting better at it.
Senior User
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 342
Likes: 0
From: Detroit, MI
I gotta agree with bigrigfixer - a face to face 'bump into' is more likely to result in something happening. Calling out of the blue is the same as a cold call from a salesman - they didn't expect it and are caught off guard. The target goes on the defense. Your odds for success drop dramatically, even greater if you can't smooth talk. The face to face gets you a more personal connection, she can read your body language and if your sincere and not a horribly disfigured freak you've got a great chance.
Oh, and confidence IS EVERYTHING. If you stumble, babble, or are unsure of yourself your doomed before you start.
<Walk up to her like you've got a python in your pants, not a garden snake.>
Oh, and confidence IS EVERYTHING. If you stumble, babble, or are unsure of yourself your doomed before you start.
<Walk up to her like you've got a python in your pants, not a garden snake.>
Thread Starter
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Junior User
Joined: Apr 2004
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Originally Posted by Mil1ion
Get an appointment for yourself.
While there arriving or leaving ,say to her: "I don't want to bother you hear at work, but please read this"
then hand her a business or personal card,with written on the back
"if it is possible I would like to go out with you", I already have a day/night picked out.
This way it is something that can't be overheard & you will either get a smile or a Deer with its eyes caught in the headlights look.
See what happens
Best of Luck
While there arriving or leaving ,say to her: "I don't want to bother you hear at work, but please read this"
then hand her a business or personal card,with written on the back
"if it is possible I would like to go out with you", I already have a day/night picked out.
This way it is something that can't be overheard & you will either get a smile or a Deer with its eyes caught in the headlights look.
See what happens
Best of Luck