[updated:LAST EDITED ON 18-May-02 AT 05:08 AM (EST)]Folks,

Monsta spoke my thoughts exactly! What a wonderful site we all share here!

I too have no idea why I'm even choosing to respond to this, as it's obvious to me that so many of you have a far deeper knowledge than I do. It's inspired me, though, and I'm very serious about this! The replies I've read to enduringexplorer's post far exceed anything I'll probably be able to add. But I can say that, as an aeromedical crewmember, I see day in and day out some of the ugliest things this world has to offer. It's been enough for a long time to make me question God, and even doubt and resent Him. My faith in the Lord has grown so tremendously over the course of the last year, thanks in no small part to the prayers offered by my wife and family. I no more have an answer to why bad (evil) things happen than anybody else does. But I don't believe that God caused them to happen. What I DO see God doing daily is creating blessings out of the horror. Those events caused millions of people to reevaluate their lives, their beliefs, their faith, and their convictions. Never before in this country have so many drawn so close together in the face of evil. Hearts were opened. People gave of themselves, and continue to give of themselves, their time, their resources, their sweat, blood and tears, directly BECAUSE of what happened. It's my belief that there's a purpose to these things that our puny little minds can never hope to grasp. We can't even begin to imagine how God will use events like those that happened at those towers to to touch lives and open hearts. My faith and my belief is that God loves us with a love that's incomprehensible...despite the millions of times each day that we push Him away. Did He cause those things to happen? No, I don't believe so. Was He there? Yes, I believe it with all of my heart. I believe He was in every stairwell, in every hallway, in every corridor of those buildings. I believe He held hands. I believe He brought comfort. Our minister the Sunday after 9/11 preached an incredible message pertaining to the tragedy, and I wish desperately that I could remember the scripture reference, but I can't. It's written in my Bible at home. Anyway, in it, he spoke of a "hedge" of protection, like a garden, and the fact that our country has been surrounded by this hedge for so long...we've enjoyed God's blessings here to so great an extent in comparison to so many places...but we as a collective people have turned from Him. We've forced Him out of our schools, out of our government, off our televisions, out of our daily lives. We've dictated to God just exactly where He's welcome and where He's not...and slowly, gradually, the hedge has come down. Like I said, I haven't even come close to doing that line of thought justice here, but it really made sense to me. There's so much beauty in our world. There's so much good.

Last night a rubber plant in Vicksburg, MS exploded. At last count, there are I believe 10 critically injured (burned) men. I flew 6 of them to trauma centers and burn centers here. I spent my entire night trying my best to help save people so badly injured, so badly burned, that if it were me, I'm not sure I'd want to be saved. I spent the morning crying this out and praying and asking all those old questions again...why? Why?...And I still don't know. BUT, I did get an answer of a sort tonight when I came to work. The first patient I flew last night died early this morning. Tonight I was told his story. He wasn't burned in the initial explosion. This man gave his life going IN to the burning plant pulling other men out...He went in and out of that fully engulfed plant over and over, catching himself on fire, pulling out his friends, and maybe even people he didn't know! Is it an answer to why the tragedy happened? No, it's not...but after 11 years as a paramedic, this man and this story above all others will stay with me. Through such a terrible, horrible event, I found the utmost living (and dying!) example of love next to Jesus Christ Himself! I got to meet the definition of love last night...in the form of a very badly burned man who gave his life so that others might live. I just refuse to believe that a loving God didn't have something to do with that! We DO have free will. We can choose to accept him or not. For those who have and who do, there's no reason to fear ANYTHING...not a plane load of terrorists...not a burning plant. We have to know He's with us, and that He's waiting for us. I guess my point is we can afford to give of ourselves to the very end because we're never in it alone. I hope some of this made sense...I'm still very tired. But I had to post it.

Casey