I've pulled this post up several times and can't come up with anything to add that's clever enough. I thot it was funny! I am a proud, patriotic citizen of the USA, but if you can't laugh at yourself once in a while it's pretty sorry state of affairs.

Dave, just send the next one to me and I'll post it........

Once, coming home from Canada the border patrol asked what my citizenship was and I told them "I'm from Montana"..................those guys have no sense of humor!

 

Subject: reasons to be proud to be canadian



Written for Canadian's, By Canadian's.


Reasons To Be A Canadian:


TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA

1. Weed
2. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges
3. The local hero is a pot-smoking snow boarder
4. The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar
5. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from downtown
6. A university with a nude beach
7. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations
8. If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your hash
9. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on
10. Marmots

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA

1. Big Rock
2. Gas is cheaper
3. Tax is 7 percent instead of approximately 200 per cent
4. The Premier is a fat beer drinker with a grade 4 education
5. Flames vs. Oilers and Stamps vs. Eskies
6. Nobody thinks you're a nutbar if you wear a cowboy hat with your bathing suit
7. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of
8. Eventually, it will be your town's turn to ban VLT's
9. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups
10. You can attempt to murder your rich oil tycoon husband and get away with it

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN

1. You never run out of wheat
2. Those cool Saskatchewan Wheat Pool hats
3. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning
4. Your province is really easy to draw
5. You never have to worry about roll-back if you have a standard
6. It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's house
7. YOUR Roughriders survived
8. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours
9. People will assume you live on a farm
10. Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA

1.You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beachfront property
2. Amusing town names like 'Flin Flon' and 'Winnipeg'
3. All your local bands make it big and move to Toronto
4. The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal government
5. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes
6. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter
7. You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work
8. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood
9. Because of your license plate, you are still 'friendly' even when you cut someone off
10. Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
1. You live in the center of the "Canadian" universe
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election
4. There's no such thing as an Ontario Separatist
5. Your grandparents sold booze to the States during Prohibition
6. Lots of tourists come to Toronto because they mistakenly believe it's a cool city
7. The only province with hard-core American-style crime
8. MuchMusic's Speaker's Corner - rant and rave on national TV for a dollar
9. Baseball fans park on your front lawn and pee on the side of your house
10. Mike Harris: basically a sober Ralph Klein

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC

1. Everybody assumes you're an A/H
2. Racism is socially acceptable
3. The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians
4. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next
5. Other provinces bribe you to stay in Canada
6. The FLQ The Block,a political party dedicated to separation but still appreciated in Quebec!
7. Your hockey team is made up entirely of dirty French guys
8. The province with the oldest, nastiest hookers
9. NON-smokers are the outcasts
10. You can blame all your problems on the 'Anglo's

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK

1. You are sandwiched between French Bigots and drunken Celtic fiddlers
2. One way or another, the government gets 98 percent of your income
3. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies
4. When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to mention yours
5. The economy is based on fish, cows, and ferrying Ontario motorists to Boston
6. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
7. You have French people, but they don't want to kill you
8. Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse
9. Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed fishermen
10. You probably live in a small seaside cottage with no television


TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA

1. The only place in North America to get bombed in the war by a moron who set an amunitions ship on fire
2. Your province is shaped like male genitalia
3. Everyone is a fiddle player
4. If someone asks if you're a Newfie, you are allowed to kick their butt
5. The local hero is an insane, fiddle playing, sexual pervert
6. The province that produced Rita MacNeil
7. You are the reason Anne Murray makes money
8. You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse to wear a kilt
9. The economy is based on fish, lobster, and fiddle music
10. Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is considered Canada's most beautiful city


TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE ON PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND

1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big-a$$ bridge
2. You can walk across the province in an hour
3. You were probably once an extra on 'Road to Avonlea'
4. This is where all those tiny red potatoes come from
5. The economy is based on fish, potatoes, and CBC TV shows
6. Tourists arrive, see the 'Anne of Green Gables' house, then promptly leave
7. You can drive across the province in fifteen minutes
8. It doesn't matter to you if Quebec separates
9. You don't share a border with the Americans, or with anyone for that matter
10. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND

1. The poorest, drunkenest province in Confederation
2. If Quebec Separates, you don't care
3. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them believe to kiss a dead cod is good luck!
4. The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related products
5. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse
6. You understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics
7. English is your second language
8. You are lucky to have two hours work a day
9. If someone asks if you're from Nova Scotia, you are allowed to kick their butt.
10. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on your wedding day

 

<b>37 Reasons To Be A Proud Canadian...</b>

1. Smarties
2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp
3. Ketchup chips
4. The size of our footballs fields and one less down
5. Baseball is Canadian
6. Lacrosse is Canadian
7. Hockey is Canadian
8. Basketball is Canadian
9. Apple pie is Canadian
10. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers butt
11. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts butt
12. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon McKenzie who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied..
13. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany. hahahaha
14. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere.
15. Our civil war was a bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.
16. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.
17. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
18. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.
19. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.
20. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.
21. We don't marry our kin-folk.
22. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.
23. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.
24. A Canadian invented Superman.
25. EH at the end of a sentence is much better than HUH?
26. Our elections only take ONE day!
27.Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
28. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
29. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
30. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.
31. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
32. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
33. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
34. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
35. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
36. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
BUT MOST IMPORTANT!


37. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on. OOOoohhhhh Canada!
-----------------

Dennis, send me some Ketchup chips will ya? People in Texas haven't caught on yet.
*drool*

 

Hey, if bashing on the United States helps people feel better about their otherwise miserable lives, then by all means, bash way. If it helps sooth their completely understandable state of intense self-hatred and discontent, then bash away.

 

wow pretty soon i will have express my opinion but for now ill keep it zipped up tori

 

Don't feel too bad about Americans not knowing Canadian history. Thanks to our fantastic school system today, a sizable percentage of America's younger generation thinks New Mexico is a foreign country.

 

Mundt.. thankyou for understanding my point!!
It seems you are the only one who got it. These other people think I'm bashing the United States.
If I didn't like the country I wouldn't live in it. I believe the facts are just too much for some people to handle, and I can somewhat understand why they would feel like that but they are missing the big picture entirely.

 

Man its too bad this is turning sour,it started out great,I love my country,and the northern half that keeps thinking it is a different country,ooops,Man if we cant laugh at good silly stuff about us,then we shouldnt dish it out.I really loved the part about Canada having the largest amount of french that werent beaten by the germans!And we as Americans should be real nice,think about it,They live above us right?And doesn`t snit run downhill?

 

We actually had USA printed on our licenses plates so folks would know.
We are part of the bigger picture.

 

I live on the west coast of Canada in British Columbia.
It's amazing how many times I've had to explain that I dont live in England.

 

Lol! That's classic!

-Matt

 

Hey I know where British Columbia is.
Its that place where we went and took out that noriega dude,then we gave it to England,and now its called British Columbia?Am I close?

 

lol..............

 

1956Mark11 ... Canadians probably haven't bought any trucks from you because....
1 Our dollar value?
2 Warranty?
3 Duty?
4 In Canada, you can't buy a new truck and ship it directly into the U.S. I hear it's the same the other way around.

Believe me, I looked into it.

 

Plus we don't want a truck that is in Miles Per Hour....with kilometres per hour in smaller print on the speedometer! EH!

-Matt