You got your freebie today!!

I am still feeling the jetlag from the hard landing.

 

here we go guy's

: Why does it take 3 Americans to change a lightbulb?

A: One to stand on the ladder, and two to carry enough lightbulbs until one is found that isn't defective.

Q: How can you tell it's midnight at an American airport?

A: When you see the 8:00 PM flights taking off.

Q: Why do American 18-year-olds take sex education courses?

A: So they can learn what they've been doing wrong for the past five years.

Q: What do Americans call a TV set that goes five years without need of repair?

A: An import.

Q: How can an American be certain that the Ford truck he's just bought is actually new?

A: When it's recalled by the factory.

 

How can an American be certain that the Ford truck he's just bought is actually new?

A: When it's recalled by the factory.

We all resemble that remark..............haha

 

Don't you mean re-assemble?

 

guidelines to be a stressed out american.

PUT MORE STRESS INTO YOUR LIFE!


Refuse to take action on nagging problems. Procrastinate, brood, and if possible, lose some sleep over them.

Make a concerted effort to take note of irritations in your life and blow them out of proportion.

Consider the power of negative thinking.

Hide your sense of humour. Erase the words smile, joke, and laugh from your vocabulary; concentrate on frowning.

If you've been working a 60 hour week, try 65 or 70 or 75! Spending more time at work will give you less time to consider how stressed you are.

Consume vast quantities of caffeine. As a stimulant it will ensure that you are awake day and night.

Practice the art of ``hurry up and wait.'' This means dashing off to join a line-up somewhere - like the bank, cinema, or ticket outlet.

Make sure you drive no further than two feet from the car in front.

To relieve boredom while waiting for traffic lights, pretend you are on the starting grid for the Indy 500.

Never read a book or listen to music.

Play ``Hide and Seek'' by concealing important documents from yourself.

Delegate nagging problems. You've proved that you can't deal with them.

Tell yourself that your abilities are unlimited. Do not waver from this conviction until you are fired for lack of competence.

Giggle nervously. It will make other people nervous, meetings will be unproductive and you won't come away with a long list of things to do.

Find a disagreeable tennis partner. Perhaps your spouse.

When feeling stressful, breathe deeply and hyperventilate until you pass out.

Take up gardening. Nothing can be more stressful if you don't like it.

When things are going badly, knock your head against the wall. The resulting headache will supersede the original problem.

see what you started racerguy? you should know this by now, its not how you start the race..but how you finish....

your turn......

 

Hahaha,well I for one thought they were great,But you could have added some kind of joke about how we take the u out of everything its always me,me,me.

Parks911,do we have a wee bit of a hangover from partying at the casino?

 

I AM.....a Californian.
as much as I hate to admit it
I'm from Kentucky and truly a redneck
No, I don't surf, as a matter of fact
I hate the (pacific) ocean.
It's filthy here.
No, I don't see famous people everyday
yes, I have climbed to the top of the W on the Hollywood sign.
I've never been in a high-speed pursuit
and yes, you do get use to the earthquakes.
California is controled by the GOVERNATOR. and no I didn't vote for him
I voted for Tom McClintock.
I hate the Lakers, Raiders and the rest of the Californian teams
The taxes are outrages and I'm paying about $2.50 for gas right now.
I love to hunt, mainly coyotes and yes Chevy's.

But above all, I am American...I love my northern brothers and that's all that counts...

 

I am Canadian and proud of it, just like most of you are American and proud of it!!! Hey it is just a post and we all have our beefs and faults but that is what make use who we are!! My $0.02 tho

 

Naw KT. I don't drink but a couple times a year. On Independance Day & to celebrate my birth.

I just had alot of other things going on today that was unexpected.

 

Well this should cheer ya up,lets gang up on um and tease the heck out of them thar canadians

 

Hey, I've got a video of that commercial! lol

 

I can't do that. They have great bacon & beautiful camping sites.

Infact I was just think earlier today that I should plan a camping trip up there for this Summer.

That should scare em enough!!

Single White American Male With Money In Canada Chasing Their Woman!!

 

What happens in Kalifornia will happen to you sooner or later.

 

What happens in California stays in California.

 

I am Canadian, EH! Those were pretty good. No offence to our American friends!

-Matt