While this topic would probably fit into the GC forum, I feel strongly that this is a more appropriate place to get a discussion rolling on the topic of respect.

I equate respect with being good or proper in behavior or conventional conduct.

I have read in a recent thread in this forum that respect must be earned. I can see how a person can earn greater respect (esteem) by actions of greater good. But here's the money questions on my mind:

Is not everyone worthy of basic respect until/ unless they prove otherwise? Isn't that the basis of mannerly conduct, even when folks disagree?

I'm tossing this into the ring for two reasons:

I'm genuinely interested in everyone's opinion on this subject.

Perhaps a discussion on this topic can help remind us all how to keep our cool and agree/disagree on any other topic, thereby preserving this forum and our webmaster's, admin's, and mod's sanity in the process.

What do you all say?

 

I had this elderly teacher once that was chubby, strict, loving, sincere and could tell the funniest jokes. That was almost 40 years ago. I can't remember everything she said, but one thing that has stuck with me all these years is this:

"Everyone you meet, no matter who they are, what they look like, or how old they are, you should say to yourself, 'I respect and love this person', before you think anything else about them; before any words pass between the two of you."

It took many years for that to make sense, or before I could apply it. But, I have learned that it works.

 

...I would say that everyone IS worthy of "Common Courtesy" at all times, but not necessarily "Respect"....If ya get my drift.

 

I imagine that it comes down to how you define respect. If we use the definition, "to show consideration for" then, IMHO, everyone is deserving of respect. If we use the definition, "to feel or show honor or esteem" then that type of respect requires a more intimate knowledge of a person and thus must be "earned".

Regardless of which definition you prefer, it is important to value each persons opinion regardless as to whether they agree or disagree with oneself. Remember our great nation is great because we have freedom of speech and the right to express our views even though they may run contrary to the mainstream. That right I respect!

 

I agree- everyone is entitled to a basic amount of respect, right up-front. The problem, in this day and age, is that it doesn't take long for a person to prove that they're deserving of NO respect whatsoever. Some only have to open their mouths (I'm not talking about FTE, just life in general).

As far as FTE and this forum goes, my only disappointment is with those people that SAY they respect everyone's opinion, that we ALL have a right to our own opinion, then proceed to rip you to shreds for having an opinion that differs from their own. That definitely shows a lack of respect, for they lack the ability to look at an issue from another's viewpoint.

 

The lack of maturity...maybe?

I have learned that those from whom I once had a problem here have changed in my view. So I have grown a little in that respect and they have too, if only from respect.

Don't let the immaturity of a few drag you down, 1956MarkII. I respect your posts, and I mean that.

 

I respect a person's right to have their opinion, often not the opinion itself. As far as respecting the person, that comes with acquaintance. Courtesy is all well and good and I attempt as much but as soon as I detect an objectionable tone in someones statement I feel compelled to respond with something less than cordiality. Even so I fully support the rights of my fellow citizens to pursue their happiness in a manner that suits them and not me.
I don't particularly mind stepping on toes since no real harm is intended.

Funny how it's a feature of our culture for men to "bond" by trading insults.
That being so I hope any poking on my part is seen as provocative in furtherance of the debate and not simply meant to be mean spirited.

 

...On further edit: I can hate someones guts and I'll still demonstrate common courtesy...conversely I can have the utmost respect for someone and never demonstrate any common courtesy

 

i think to properly answer your question we need to discuss what respect actually is. I think that everyone when you first meet them either online or in person is worthy of being talked to in a proper decent manner and is to be dealt with on a level that you would want to be dealt with by another who would first be meeting you. My version of respect comes into play after you start to get to know someone on a more intimate level, when you see what they stand for and when you find they go above and beyond the normal level of human behaviour. I respect those who go out and lay their lives on the line for others, those who have come from nothing and made a difference in the lives of society. I have respect for those that make a difference in the lives of the young or the elderly by helping them.... i think you get the idea.
On the same token those who go out of their way to make others lives miserable or less comfortable or those who have no value on others etc, i think a lot less of.
I agree respect is earned not granted, and i do believe like the other poster said that common courtesy is what everyone is due at first til they prove they arent worth any of it

 

As a child, both at home and at school, it was always ingrained to have respect for other's property and to respect your "elders".

I suppose it is from this perspective that I would find it difficult to embrace a concept of having respect for an inanimate object (other's property) and yet not have respect for an individual unless/until demonsrated one is deserving of it.

I will extend common courtesy and respect unless/until proven otherwise. That's certainly the way I hope and expect to be treated. Kinda follows that innocent until proven guilty formula

 

Very simple to me. I respect everyone and everything. Deserving or not. If someone does not show me the same attitude,,, that is their failure. I refuse to allow myself to drop to their level. I do my best every day to make My world a better place, regardless of the actions or thoughts of those around me. If it's continual disrespect,,, they leave My world. Life is way too short to me to be bothered by such things. As I age, priorities and importance gain new meaning and heightened awareness. I value my time greatly,,as I have very little of it. So what I choose to do with my time for others is dependent on how they treat those around them. Judgemental? Possibly. But then again,, I Am human.

 

In my book common courtesy is due everyone.

Respect on the other hand is doled out only after worthiness has been proven.

Can you respect the businessman that files bankruptsy and then leaves the lenders holding the bag of bad decisions.

Or do you give the respect to the businessman that gets up daily and does the business required to pay his bills and forfill the obligations he has commited too.

It is an easy decision for me to make.

 

EXACTLY.

Waxy

 

I HERD THAT! opinions are like noses... everybodys got one...thats the point of this forum is to get & give opinions isnt ...i hate when i see somebody bash somebody elses reply...if people dont agree why cant they just overlook it and tell what they think,tell how they would do it . although it hasnt happened to me i git irritated when i see things like that

 

We agree on this one .....Waxy