Religious viewpoints
Posting Guru
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,540
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From: Los Angeles safe and warm
Originally posted by marc9000
Especially the most self-righteous religion in the world....atheism!
marc
Especially the most self-righteous religion in the world....atheism!
marc
Posting Guru
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,750
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From: Lenexa, KS
I am a Catholic and was educated Through high school in the Parochial (Catholic) school system. I think it's safe to say that Catholicism is one of the most "picked on" religions around when it comes to comedians. I enjoy a good Catholic joke as much as the next guy!! 
Posting Guru
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,341
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From: Detroit Subs
Originally posted by jskufan
I am a Catholic and was educated Through high school in the Parochial (Catholic) school system. I think it's safe to say that Catholicism is one of the most "picked on" religions around when it comes to comedians. I enjoy a good Catholic joke as much as the next guy!!
I am a Catholic and was educated Through high school in the Parochial (Catholic) school system. I think it's safe to say that Catholicism is one of the most "picked on" religions around when it comes to comedians. I enjoy a good Catholic joke as much as the next guy!!
Senior User
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 173
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From: TX Panhandle
I was raised Catholic, I think that gives me the right . . .
A Catholic priest was walking down the sidewalk when he comes across a little boy with a box full of puppies. Feeling a little mischevious, he asks the boy, "Say, son, what denomination would your puppies be?"
The boy replies, "Why, Catholic, my padre."
A week later, the same priest travels the same sidewalk, this time in the company of his good Baptist pastor compatriot. They come across the same little boy with the same box of puppies. Deciding to take advantage of the opportunity to gig his friend, the priest asked the boy, "Say, son, what denomination would your puppies be?"
"Why, they're Baptists, padre," said the little boy.
"Wait a minute," said the stunned priest, "Last week you said they were Catholic!"
"Yes, Father," said the boy, "But they have their eyes open now."
No offense. Catholic, Protestant, or athiest, God loves us all the same. Thank God!
A Catholic priest was walking down the sidewalk when he comes across a little boy with a box full of puppies. Feeling a little mischevious, he asks the boy, "Say, son, what denomination would your puppies be?"
The boy replies, "Why, Catholic, my padre."
A week later, the same priest travels the same sidewalk, this time in the company of his good Baptist pastor compatriot. They come across the same little boy with the same box of puppies. Deciding to take advantage of the opportunity to gig his friend, the priest asked the boy, "Say, son, what denomination would your puppies be?"
"Why, they're Baptists, padre," said the little boy.
"Wait a minute," said the stunned priest, "Last week you said they were Catholic!"
"Yes, Father," said the boy, "But they have their eyes open now."
No offense. Catholic, Protestant, or athiest, God loves us all the same. Thank God!
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Senior User
Joined: Oct 2002
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From: the edge of reality
Catching the sheet - for laughs only! don't be offended!
you forgot a few...
Hare Krishnas- we useta do our sheet in airports with tamborines!
Scientology- all sheet is a result of the reactive mind...
Church of Christ- us and our sheet are the only ones going to heaven.
Heaven's Gate- dead sheet...
Pentecostal and Holiness- holy rollin', snake handlin' sheet!
Anglican- our sheet and bishops can be gay.
Christian Science- All is sheet and its infinite manifestation...
Satanism- some really wicked sheet.
Branch Davidians- burnt sheet.
Seventh Day Adventists- we do our sheet on Saturday
Ku Klux Klan- we WEAR our sheet(s)!
Wicca- whatever sheet ye send forth into the Universe comes back unto you thricefold (three times the sheet!!!)
Freemasonry- we do our sheet covertly.
Quakers and Shakers- our sheet is almost extinct.
Amish- we abide by primitive ways and our sheet is homemade.
Mennonite- our sheet is homemade too but we can use tractors.
Jehovahs Witnesses- we keep going house to house with our sheet no matter how many doors get slammed in our faces.
Esoteric- some truly magical sheet.
Rastafarians- dreadlock wearin', ganga smokin' drummin' sheet!
Unity- "let there be sheet on earth and let it begin with me"
High Colonicans- "tho your sheet be as mud, we'll wash it white as snoe..."
Salvation Army- pseudomilitary cornet playing, bell ringing sheet.
Druidism- tree-huggin' sheet.
Jim Jones/Guiana- poisoned sheet.
Unicorn veneration- horse sheet.
New Age- crystal gazing, Earth shoe wearing, macrobiotic vegetarian sheet.
Jain- our sheet won't harm a fly.
Hero worship- human sheet.
Please don't take offense to these- my belief system is in there,
and it catches its share of the...
W/K
Hare Krishnas- we useta do our sheet in airports with tamborines!
Scientology- all sheet is a result of the reactive mind...
Church of Christ- us and our sheet are the only ones going to heaven.
Heaven's Gate- dead sheet...
Pentecostal and Holiness- holy rollin', snake handlin' sheet!
Anglican- our sheet and bishops can be gay.
Christian Science- All is sheet and its infinite manifestation...
Satanism- some really wicked sheet.
Branch Davidians- burnt sheet.
Seventh Day Adventists- we do our sheet on Saturday
Ku Klux Klan- we WEAR our sheet(s)!
Wicca- whatever sheet ye send forth into the Universe comes back unto you thricefold (three times the sheet!!!)
Freemasonry- we do our sheet covertly.
Quakers and Shakers- our sheet is almost extinct.
Amish- we abide by primitive ways and our sheet is homemade.
Mennonite- our sheet is homemade too but we can use tractors.
Jehovahs Witnesses- we keep going house to house with our sheet no matter how many doors get slammed in our faces.
Esoteric- some truly magical sheet.
Rastafarians- dreadlock wearin', ganga smokin' drummin' sheet!
Unity- "let there be sheet on earth and let it begin with me"
High Colonicans- "tho your sheet be as mud, we'll wash it white as snoe..."
Salvation Army- pseudomilitary cornet playing, bell ringing sheet.
Druidism- tree-huggin' sheet.
Jim Jones/Guiana- poisoned sheet.
Unicorn veneration- horse sheet.
New Age- crystal gazing, Earth shoe wearing, macrobiotic vegetarian sheet.
Jain- our sheet won't harm a fly.
Hero worship- human sheet.
Please don't take offense to these- my belief system is in there,
and it catches its share of the...
W/K
Posting Guru
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,341
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From: Detroit Subs
Originally posted by texas60guy
I was raised Catholic, I think that gives me the right . . .
A Catholic priest was walking down the sidewalk when he comes across a little boy with a box full of puppies. Feeling a little mischevious, he asks the boy, "Say, son, what denomination would your puppies be?"
The boy replies, "Why, Catholic, my padre."
A week later, the same priest travels the same sidewalk, this time in the company of his good Baptist pastor compatriot. They come across the same little boy with the same box of puppies. Deciding to take advantage of the opportunity to gig his friend, the priest asked the boy, "Say, son, what denomination would your puppies be?"
"Why, they're Baptists, padre," said the little boy.
"Wait a minute," said the stunned priest, "Last week you said they were Catholic!"
"Yes, Father," said the boy, "But they have their eyes open now."
No offense. Catholic, Protestant, or athiest, God loves us all the same. Thank God!
I was raised Catholic, I think that gives me the right . . .
A Catholic priest was walking down the sidewalk when he comes across a little boy with a box full of puppies. Feeling a little mischevious, he asks the boy, "Say, son, what denomination would your puppies be?"
The boy replies, "Why, Catholic, my padre."
A week later, the same priest travels the same sidewalk, this time in the company of his good Baptist pastor compatriot. They come across the same little boy with the same box of puppies. Deciding to take advantage of the opportunity to gig his friend, the priest asked the boy, "Say, son, what denomination would your puppies be?"
"Why, they're Baptists, padre," said the little boy.
"Wait a minute," said the stunned priest, "Last week you said they were Catholic!"
"Yes, Father," said the boy, "But they have their eyes open now."
No offense. Catholic, Protestant, or athiest, God loves us all the same. Thank God!
Thread Starter
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Elder User
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 807
Likes: 1
From: Idaho
I'm glad to see you all have a sense of humor. I, too, am a recovering catholic. I certainly don't believe their force fed sheet anymore. Then again, at the age of 7 I knew it was bull sheet. Whiteknight, you've got some great ones there, the druid in particular. Texas 60, I couldn't appreciate your joke any more.
Junior User
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 63
Likes: 0
Originally posted by nick11082001
i got a big thing against wicca, well any religion that goes against the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ
i got a big thing against wicca, well any religion that goes against the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ
Later Larry