Some funny signs...
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Postmaster
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 4,532
Likes: 5
From: Trussville, Alabama
Some funny signs...
The following were taken from the "Backtalk" section of Machine Design magazine and supposedly exist at the location given:
Hong Kong dress shop: "Ladies have fits upstairs."
Japanese detour sign: "Stop: drive sideways"
Copenhagen Airline office: "We take your bags and send them in all directions."
Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
Alcapulco hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."
Japanese air conditioner: "Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in you room, please control yourself."
Polish Menu: "Salad of firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; Roast duck let loose; Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion."
And my favorite......
Tokyo car rental firm: "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him gently at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigor."
Brian A
Hong Kong dress shop: "Ladies have fits upstairs."
Japanese detour sign: "Stop: drive sideways"
Copenhagen Airline office: "We take your bags and send them in all directions."
Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
Alcapulco hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."
Japanese air conditioner: "Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in you room, please control yourself."
Polish Menu: "Salad of firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; Roast duck let loose; Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion."
And my favorite......
Tokyo car rental firm: "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him gently at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigor."
Brian A
Laughing Gas
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 1,024
Likes: 0
From: Elon, NC
Some funny signs...
>
>Tokyo car rental firm: "When passenger of foot heave in
>sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him gently at first, but if
>he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with
>vigor."
Hahahahahahahahahaha
Tryin to think of something funny to say about that.......and can't think of a thing to add.....
Ron
>Tokyo car rental firm: "When passenger of foot heave in
>sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him gently at first, but if
>he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with
>vigor."
Hahahahahahahahahaha
Tryin to think of something funny to say about that.......and can't think of a thing to add.....
Ron
Elder User
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 714
Likes: 0
From: Georgia
Some funny signs...
There's a sign I saw on in one of the suburbs of Atlanta GA:
"If you hit this sign you're going to hit that bridge"
Jon
1989 F-150 XL- 4x4, 302, M50D
1995 Bronco Eddie Bauer- 351W, E40D
Finally got around to creating a gallery...check it out
"If you hit this sign you're going to hit that bridge"
Jon
1989 F-150 XL- 4x4, 302, M50D
1995 Bronco Eddie Bauer- 351W, E40D
Finally got around to creating a gallery...check it out
Cargo Master
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 2,484
Likes: 7
From: New Egypt, New Jersey
Some funny signs...
When my son was little, he attended a pre-school. There was a sign in the parking lot that said "A Brighter Child Learning Center". A sign a few feet away said "Slow children playing". 
Posting Guru
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 1,668
Likes: 3
From: Lincoln USA
Some funny signs...
>When my son was little, he attended a pre-school. There was
>a sign in the parking lot that said "A Brighter Child
>Learning Center". A sign a few feet away said "Slow children
>playing".
I've often wondered: Would they speed up if they saw you driving towards them?
>a sign in the parking lot that said "A Brighter Child
>Learning Center". A sign a few feet away said "Slow children
>playing".
I've often wondered: Would they speed up if they saw you driving towards them?
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New User
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 0
Likes: 24
Some funny signs...
http://www.clubfte.com/users/mil1ion/Notrespassingsign.JPG
This one is in Calgary ,someone said it's a great sign for Getaway driver's.
http://www.clubfte.com/users/mil1ion/policeSign.jpg
This one is in Edmonton.
It is self-explanatory
http://www.clubfte.com/users/mil1ion/serenity.jpg
************************************************** **********
Driving down the road, I noticed some scribblings on the dirty flatbed truck in front of me. Someone had drawn three arrows, Right, left, and down. The right arrow was pointing at the ditch on the side of the road, and read "El-crasho". The down arrow was pointed at the trucks bumper, and read "El-stopo". The left arrow was pointed at the oncoming lane, and read "el-passo". I had coffee coming out of my nose.
************************************************** *******************
Funny English Signs of Great Britain
Sign in a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
Sign in a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
Outside a farm: HORSE MANURE 50p PER PRE-PACKED BAG 20p DO-IT-YOURSELF
In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
On a church door: THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT. PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.)
English sign in a German cafe: MOTHERS, PLEASE WASH YOUR HANS BEFORE EATING
Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales: THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED UNTIL OPENING. IT WILL REMAIN CLOSED AFTER BEING OPENED. OPEN TOMORROW.
Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO
Seen at the side of a Sussex road: SLOW CATTLE CROSSING. NO OVERTAKING FOR THE NEXT 100 YRS.
Outside a disco: SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME
Sign warning of quicksand: QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.
Notice sent to residents of a Whiltshire parish: DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER
Notice in a dry cleaner's window: ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.
Sign on motorway garage: PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS.YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS
Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR
Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
Sign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
Sign at Norfolk farm gate: BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST LEFT
Spotted in a toilet in a London office block: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
And now for one of my favourite's.
http://www.clubfte.com/users/mil1ion/Wheelchair.jpg
[font color=red]Dennis
FTE Adminstration
[/font]
http://www.clubfte.com/users/mil1ion/canada_flag_animated.gif
[link:www.clubfte.com/users/mil1ion/Mil1ion.html|My Website,"North Of The 49th"]
[link:www.ford-trucks.com/guidelines.html|Club FTE]
http://www.clubfte.com/users/mil1ion/Minimorleytruck.JPG
[font color=blue]78 F-150 429CJ,Silver,Explorer Pkg.
[/font]
This one is in Calgary ,someone said it's a great sign for Getaway driver's.
http://www.clubfte.com/users/mil1ion/policeSign.jpg
This one is in Edmonton.
It is self-explanatory
http://www.clubfte.com/users/mil1ion/serenity.jpg
************************************************** **********
Driving down the road, I noticed some scribblings on the dirty flatbed truck in front of me. Someone had drawn three arrows, Right, left, and down. The right arrow was pointing at the ditch on the side of the road, and read "El-crasho". The down arrow was pointed at the trucks bumper, and read "El-stopo". The left arrow was pointed at the oncoming lane, and read "el-passo". I had coffee coming out of my nose.
************************************************** *******************
Funny English Signs of Great Britain
Sign in a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
Sign in a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
Outside a farm: HORSE MANURE 50p PER PRE-PACKED BAG 20p DO-IT-YOURSELF
In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
On a church door: THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT. PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.)
English sign in a German cafe: MOTHERS, PLEASE WASH YOUR HANS BEFORE EATING
Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales: THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED UNTIL OPENING. IT WILL REMAIN CLOSED AFTER BEING OPENED. OPEN TOMORROW.
Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO
Seen at the side of a Sussex road: SLOW CATTLE CROSSING. NO OVERTAKING FOR THE NEXT 100 YRS.
Outside a disco: SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME
Sign warning of quicksand: QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.
Notice sent to residents of a Whiltshire parish: DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER
Notice in a dry cleaner's window: ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.
Sign on motorway garage: PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS.YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS
Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR
Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
Sign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
Sign at Norfolk farm gate: BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST LEFT
Spotted in a toilet in a London office block: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
And now for one of my favourite's.
http://www.clubfte.com/users/mil1ion/Wheelchair.jpg
[font color=red]Dennis
FTE Adminstration
[/font]
http://www.clubfte.com/users/mil1ion/canada_flag_animated.gif
[link:www.clubfte.com/users/mil1ion/Mil1ion.html|My Website,"North Of The 49th"]
[link:www.ford-trucks.com/guidelines.html|Club FTE]
http://www.clubfte.com/users/mil1ion/Minimorleytruck.JPG
[font color=blue]78 F-150 429CJ,Silver,Explorer Pkg.
[/font]
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Gone but not forgotten.
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,521
Likes: 2
Some funny signs...
Saw this handmade sign in Arkansas - "We sell real fowl eggs". Earlier this week I saw a picture of a Hells Angel type biker with a T-shirt that read across the back - "If you can read this, the bitch fell off".
Dono
Dono
Elder User
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 703
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From: Where they take the census by counting the appliances on the front porch and multiplying by five
Some funny signs...
Dennis, I saw that sign of your posting about the wheelchair and the alligator and I almost blew the milk I was drinking on the screen! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! Loved it!
Chuck
Chuck
Elder User
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 950
Likes: 0
From: Conroe, TX
Some funny signs...
Driving down the highway the other day and saw a speed limit sign that said, day - 55mph, night - 65. I saw about ten other sighs just like this one on the same highway. Well, not ON the highway off the the side of it. it was about 3pm so i fliped on my headlights, and called it night. Drove 65 the whole way.
Chris
Chris
Thread Starter
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Postmaster
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 4,532
Likes: 5
From: Trussville, Alabama
Some funny signs...
And a few more.....
Norwegian cocktail bar: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."
Austrian ski hotel: "Do not perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of acension."
Moscow hotel: "You are invited to visit the cemetary where famous Soviet composers, authors, and artists are buried daily except on Thursday."
Belgrade elevator: "To move the cabin, push forward for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number for a wishing floor. Driving is then going alpahbetically by national order."
Lepzig elevator: "Do not enter the lift backwards and only when lit up."
Brian A
Norwegian cocktail bar: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."
Austrian ski hotel: "Do not perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of acension."
Moscow hotel: "You are invited to visit the cemetary where famous Soviet composers, authors, and artists are buried daily except on Thursday."
Belgrade elevator: "To move the cabin, push forward for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number for a wishing floor. Driving is then going alpahbetically by national order."
Lepzig elevator: "Do not enter the lift backwards and only when lit up."
Brian A
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