COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on "START".............


Anybody order som confusion?

 

 

 

↑ ... "I'm not sure how I bent it, out there at the side of a Hayfield, next to Chappy Creek!" ... ...
---------
Lets tell Mother .. "A deer hit it ! ... It was a Spike Buck, you know how crazy they can get! " ...

 

They've been there for days... No food... No water... They're at deaths door collapsed at the bottom of a dune when Joey says...
"I can smell bacon! We're saved, we're saved!" Harold says... "It must be a mirage. How can you smell bacon! We're done for!
You can't smell a mirage! You're going mad!..... But suddenly the wind shifts and he too get's a whiff of bacon.

Both IRS agents scramble to the top of the dune and down below they see a tree covered in bacon, pork chops, sausages, spam.....
"A bacon tree! A bacon tree! A bacon tree!" He runs toward the saving bush and BANG!.. A gun goes off and shoots him in the chest.
The other runs down to save him. With his last breath Joey says... "Stop! Stop! Don't come any closer!.... It's not a bacon tree!"
It's a Hambush!

 

 

 

I just wanna know just how stupid can comedy get?
----------
Anyone? ... ...
---------------------------------

 

 

 

 

"Knock knock," ... Who's there" ............... [ What do you have when you cross a Ghoul with a Collie ?]
---------- .................................................. [A pet that eats you and then runs for help.]
"Dracula" ------------ -------------- ..........
Dracula Who?
--------------
"Dracula doesn't have a last name."