J D

There was a study a few years ago that all people encounter a major change in their lives every 6-7 years or something like that. That is, every 6 years, you go through something like marriage, divorce, start a new career, leave the country, whatever. Major stuff is _very stressful_.

After that you emerge basically as a new human being. then you repeat the process again.

Every human being who grows must pass these stages of development. When you stop changing, that's the problem.

 

Hm...welll it seems I go through them more than average? every year or so....It has actually been said that I am going through mid-life crisis...I AM ONLY 21 !!! And to tell the truth, I believe I may already be going through it, anyone who has known me for more than 3 years agrees with this conclusion...At least I know I will die before I hit 40 I am halfway there....

 

Uhh...I don't follow.

I'm happy:
My Caddy got wrecked 2 weeks ago (well, not happy there)
I'm working 60 hours a week
I'm married to a lunatic (but I knew that going in)

I'm happy. Then again, I've been told that the truly nuts are usually happy...put me wherever I belong.

 

I am 50, in fairly decent health with the exception of a few worn out joints from hard work, or maybe it was from all those drugs in the 70s, seriously. My second wife and I are in the middle of a divorce and we have an 7 year old daughter that is everything to me. She is my only natural child. I do have step children but only a couple of them like me. The only thing that bothers me about this wife walking is how it will affect my daughter. I would have split with her years ago if it weren't for that. I am so looking foreward to not having to feed and support at least three people that really dislike me. Although I realize I have failed on many levels, I also see that I have matured and gotten more compassion and understanding over the last 8 years. Oh I am still **** but not near as bad. In spite of all this, I still stay on a pretty even keel by having things to look foreward to. I have my 64 Galaxy that I have plans for, I want to get rid of my car payments and get another good 67-72 F-250 so I spend alot of time window shopping. And I daydream constantly about when I will get back home to Alaska. Of course the big thing that keeps me going is my relationship with my creator.
Plus I have my therapy, regular visits to the junkyard. I find it a great place to totally forget about my problems.

 

I too find that grabbing my socket set and heading the junk yard with the big factory service manual under my arm very therapeutic. It is not about your ride, but about the balance in you. Ever read Zen and the art of Motorcycle maintainance?

Anyway...... I hear what you are saying.

I have some issues which have caused me much mental pain but you know, focus on the positives, which do outweight the negatives. I think they always do, even if you end up without some major body parts unable to move or think.

Let's see the positives here -
I am not stuck with a bitchy wife.
No child support.
No major health isssues
I have an old but realible truck and several cars, all old but I keep fixing them.
My mind works good.
My conscience doesn't bother me, I live without guilt.
And more, but you get the idea.

I am inclined to think of life these days as a process. You should enjoy the very process without any expectations. Well, you must have expectations, but if these expectations are not met, it should not jeopardize your outlook on life.

 

carpe_diem, still haven't figured out what that stands for, you kind of sound like you are my twin.

Jimmy Dean, you will make it way past 40. It will get better. Save the mid-life crisis to say...50.

 

Jimmy Dean....

I had the pleasure of meeting an elderly gentleman yesterday at a rememberance day celebration. He was 91 years old - and he told me that life begins at 90! Being a shade over half way there, I think he was telling me that I had a lot to look forward to. I do believe that. He also shared with me a short version of his history. Seriously wounded in action, almost lost his life, but traded a leg instead. Worried about returning from service - what would his wife think of being burdened with a cripple? (his pride was awesome, as was his independence) She did leave him, and as much as that upset him, it came as a relief to be independent again and free of what he thought to be pity. Another young lady entered his life when he was 72. She died 2 years ago. His plan was to go to the pub after the service, meet a few old friends, sink a few beers and share a few stories. Tomorrow, the adventure would continue in another direction - and he had no idea which point of the compass he would follow. That was something to look forward to!
Q. Why don't you rebuild your mustang? You've had it a while, and does it matter if its not finished for some years? I'd reckon that you'd have a good picture in your mind of what it will look like when it is? Rome wasn't built in a day you know.
Sieze the Day!

Regards,

Paul.

 

Just keep building those chairs, someday you will get one that doesn't break when you sit in it.

 

You can't control the things that happen to/around you only how you react to them--Unknown

No matter how bad things are, they could always be worse! Shrug it off, the odds are in your favor it'll get better!

 

Carpe,

I'm glad you started this . Your posts on other threads had me a little worried for you and of all those here you remind me most of myself albeit when I was a little younger.

My mantra: "Joyous despite the facts"

Jimmy Dean,
Many of us thought we'd die young. It's vanity. Only the good die young and so forth. So dramatic. Horsepucky as well. Plan for a long race.

Malone,
Let me guess, no woman in your life? Hope that strategy is workin' for ya. Ever hope to buy a house/compound?

 

Dying young..... I managed not to, by what means I will never understand, but being shot at a few thousand times, being in too many fire fights to remember, and surviving 3 downed aircraft made me convinced that I wouldn't reach my current age. Now I know I cannot be a good guy.

Theo

 

Carpe Diem: Latin, IIRC, for "Seize the day"

 

wow Theo- what military or division are you in? i request a post from you to tell us of your stories, of course you dont need to but hey its just a request. im not working today so i need something to read!

happy? im just like my father, no matter how good i got it i still can find a way to want something else, or something different. everytime i want to be single a woman finds her way into my life, im never satisfied with the toys i have or the truck i got, i keep lifting weights but not seeing the improvement i desire- and when life throws something tough at me i try to avoid it instead of dealing with it. for me the easiest thing to do is ignore a problem, which everybody knows it doesnt just go away. ive been told ive done a heck of alot for my young age, graduated high school early, took some college, finished that and started my own small business when i was 19- that was a year and a half ago. but yet i always wonder if i should have chose another path, i was suppose to join the Army when i was 17 but chose not to, looking back on it i wish i had.

 

You are too young to feel trapped already. I'm 26 with a stay at home wife, 2 kids, car, house, and a few other toys, and really want to change careers, but I really can't. Didn't you say you were 21 and in the millitary? You have it made, I sometimes wish I would have went into the millitary. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, until you get over there. Be happy where you are. I'm not saying to not strive for a better job or anything but don't compare yourself to the Brad Pitt's of the world because you will lose everytime.

 

Haha, have it made, my lousy decisions have cut my 'great' paycheck down to barely enough to get by....grass is greener on the other side? If I had chosen college instead, I would be out later this year, I would have two job oppurtunities (places where they are hurting for more people) getting paid either 50k or 80k a year, one in Tx one in Florida respectively...I mean I look at this now...hmmm.....the military is maybe the worst decision I could have made, it is not something that sits well with me. BTW, there is no chance in hell that I will get staioned or EVER sent oversees.