Liberal jokes....
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 559
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From: Toledo, Ohio
Liberal jokes....
Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
"Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome
Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.
Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
A Democrat found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.
Q: What the difference between a Democrat and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don't know either.
Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.
Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.
Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.?
A: It’s the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A Democrat parade.
Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal’s ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: Why don't they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a Democrat.
Q: What's the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure?
A: The sack.
Q: What's the definition of a Democrat running for Congress for the first time?
A: A mouse trying to become a rat.
Q: What's the difference between God and a Democrat?
A: God knows He's not a Democrat.
A: Change.
Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
"Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome
Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.
Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
A Democrat found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.
Q: What the difference between a Democrat and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don't know either.
Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.
Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.
Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.?
A: It’s the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A Democrat parade.
Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal’s ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: Why don't they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a Democrat.
Q: What's the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure?
A: The sack.
Q: What's the definition of a Democrat running for Congress for the first time?
A: A mouse trying to become a rat.
Q: What's the difference between God and a Democrat?
A: God knows He's not a Democrat.
Postmaster
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 3,496
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From: Calgary Canada
Re: Liberal jokes....
Q: What do you get when you offer an NRA Member a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: How do you confuse an NRA Member?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: Why is it good to have an NRA Member as a passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart NRA Member?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
An NRA Member died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
"Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury an NRA Member? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
Q: How do you keep an NRA Member busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: How do you keep an NRA Member busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
Q: What do you call an NRA Member with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome
Q: How do you get a one-armed NRA Member out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
Q: What do you call a basement full of NRA Members?
A: A whine cellar.
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 NRA Members.
Q: What is foreplay for an NRA Member?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
Q: What is an NRA Member doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did the NRA Member have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
Q: Why do NRA Members work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
An NRA Member found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a squirrel.
Q: What the difference between an NRA Member and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don't know either.
Q: How is an NRA Member different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.
Q: How many NRA Members does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.
Q: Why do so many NRA Members live in L.A.?
A: It’s the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: An NRA Member parade.
Q: What is it called when an NRA Member blows in another NRA Member’s ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: Why don't they let NRA Members swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury an NRA Member.
Q: What's the difference between an NRA Member and a sack of manure?
A: The sack.
Q: What's the definition of an NRA Member running for Congress for the first time?
A: A mouse trying to become a rat.
Q: What's the difference between God and an NRA Member?
A: God knows He's not an NRA Member .
Now that's funny.
Waxy
A: Change.
Q: How do you confuse an NRA Member?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: Why is it good to have an NRA Member as a passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart NRA Member?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
An NRA Member died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
"Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury an NRA Member? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
Q: How do you keep an NRA Member busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: How do you keep an NRA Member busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
Q: What do you call an NRA Member with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome
Q: How do you get a one-armed NRA Member out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
Q: What do you call a basement full of NRA Members?
A: A whine cellar.
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 NRA Members.
Q: What is foreplay for an NRA Member?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
Q: What is an NRA Member doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did the NRA Member have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
Q: Why do NRA Members work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
An NRA Member found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a squirrel.
Q: What the difference between an NRA Member and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don't know either.
Q: How is an NRA Member different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.
Q: How many NRA Members does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.
Q: Why do so many NRA Members live in L.A.?
A: It’s the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: An NRA Member parade.
Q: What is it called when an NRA Member blows in another NRA Member’s ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: Why don't they let NRA Members swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury an NRA Member.
Q: What's the difference between an NRA Member and a sack of manure?
A: The sack.
Q: What's the definition of an NRA Member running for Congress for the first time?
A: A mouse trying to become a rat.
Q: What's the difference between God and an NRA Member?
A: God knows He's not an NRA Member .
Now that's funny.
Waxy
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From: Erie, pa
My Heros have always been Cowboys--------
Gun Totin', Cigar Chompin', Horse Ridin' Smelly Guys!
Whoops, hold on, they was all Actors, bunch of Commie-Pinko, Dope Smokin' L.A. types.
Guess I don't have no Heros
Gun Totin', Cigar Chompin', Horse Ridin' Smelly Guys!
Whoops, hold on, they was all Actors, bunch of Commie-Pinko, Dope Smokin' L.A. types.
Guess I don't have no Heros
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From: Toledo, Ohio
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,724
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From: Blue Hill Township
Originally posted by sinjin
4tl8ford,
"Dope Smokin' L.A. types" There's many millions of people in Los Angeles. They all don't deserve to be disparaged so you can sound cute..
4tl8ford,
"Dope Smokin' L.A. types" There's many millions of people in Los Angeles. They all don't deserve to be disparaged so you can sound cute..