Your own, that is.

Found out that one of the people who graduated about the same time I did, has died. Cancer. In early 30's. And he was in athletics, won awards. It is shocking.

I am a few years younger, and will arrive at the big three-oh next year. Kind of scary. Hearing things like that does change your entire perspective on life. It increases my desire to lead a meaningful life. My values are -really- changing.

Funny. Carpe_diem stands for "live for the day" yet when I picked it, I wasn't seriously thinking about the meaning. And now... well now, I am not sure. Maybe there is something to it. What if you live your whole life planning something, going somewhere, and yet that future never happens? You know, life is what happens when you have other plans?

So which is it, is life a goal or a process?
I think if I were immortal, I would think the former, but in light of the fact that all biological organisms must eventually perish, I think the latter.

 

It is amazing what age will do to one's persepective. Sorry to hear about your friend. Hearing about those you know pass away is always a not so pleasant reminder that we are mortal.

What you do in you life does have meaning though.

 

Although there have been many relatives of mine who have died in the past, there is one thing I have learned. Life is to be lived to the fullest. And Life is a journey. The way I apply what I have learned, however is maybe questionable, but not here.

Sorry to hear of your friend's passing, carpe. I'm sure he's in a better place.

 

Truly, it is the "difficult to impossible" to prevent that really gets to us. You can stop smoking/eat better/carry a gun/wear a seat belt/look both ways/drink less/put on a life jacket/et cetera all you want, but you can not account for everything. To let that get you down is nothing less than a disservice to yourself and your family.
I'm not even 22, but I've seen enough youth death to have learned at least than.
And in responce to you question, although somewhat rhetorical, I long ago decided that life is most certainly the journey. If you must look forward to a goal, what's the one thing that we must all plan for?
Nobody goes through life looking forward to or planning their death. Many do not fear death for verying religeous reasons, but nobody is looking forward to death.
Essentially life is "Have a good trip".

 

I agree,,, Life isn't about the goals or the plans. It's fully about the trip along the way, the stops on the path that make you awestruck. I was fortunate enough (retrospectively) to lose my father at 17, this was probably one of the best moments of my life. Now don't get me wrong in the least, there is not a day that goes by that I don't wish he was still here. We were Very close. But his death (45 from congestive heart failure) taught me the most important lesson so far in my life. To live each and every day as it's the first one of the rest of your life. To enjoy every single wonder, no matter the scale. The smell after a rain, or even before. The colors on a butterfly's wings. Smile and/or laughter of a child. Our end result is already sealed, we will all die, there is no stopping that. That does not mean we shouldn't try to make our lives and every single one that we touch the best it can possibly be. I leave nothing to the Fates or to God's Will when it comes to what I want in my life. If it's to be,, it's up to me. My only goal in Life is to be happy, luckily, that comes in such a myraid of forms, I couldn't even begin to list them. Some say "well, why don't you have a goal to make those around you happy too?" But they are missing the larger picture, in my opinion. Happiness is inherently contagious. And I sure can't "make" someone else happy, I can share with them what gives me pure elation, but that is all. In return, I garner what they enjoy and attempt (and usually succeed) in deriving some, if not, quite abit, of satisfaction in their particular gaiety. Walk into any room full of people and start chuckling, wink at a few that give you strange looks, keep smiling and laughing softly. Before you know it, everyone will be at least smiling, some outright guffawing. Everyone Wants to be happy, but that's not always enough. Quite a few people I have come into contact with over the years just would not allow themselves to be happy. This is one of the worst detrimental attitudes I believe possible. I could go on for pages, but I shall desist for now,, let's get some more points of view

 

carpe_diem
I can relate to you as well as others who have posted. As a kid I went through one year were a few of my family members passed. I didn't really care at the time as I wasn't close to my relatives as they lived some distance away, however there was one aunt that passed that hurt a little just because she was the nicest person I had met at the time. Then a summer a few years later my cousin who was my age (15) was killed riding a 3 wheeler how? They were never able to determine how as it wasn't the usual riding in rough terrain accident. That hit hard as the usual looking forward to hanging out with my cousin every year at the family reunions was now seemingly pointless, to this day I don't go to the reuninons. I went through hearing of a few fellow classemates and peers who had passed one in high school and a few more as I went up through my early 20's. I even knew an athletic person as your self who I went to school with I wouldn't call him a friend but he knew myself and I knew him and would stop to say hey if I saw him out working or at a store or something it trouble me when I heard he had a stroke for no apparant reason but didn't phase too bad. Here is how I can relate to you in a sense. I had a friend growing up from about 3rd grade to freshmen year in high school we did everything as we entered high shool he took the path of hanging around a certain group got into things I chose not to do so we broke ties (you know were you act like the person doesn't exist when you see them), my senior year we spoke a few times in passing. Odd thing was he had crashed many vehicles over the high school years due to drunk driving he totalled at least 3 and damaged a couple others so he had a problem he struggled with it. After high school ended I would see him occassionally as I was in my early 20's and stop to say hey he seemed to be straightening up. Well 6 months ago I was talking to someone on the phone and they asked me if I knew that person as they thought I knew him and I said yeah I was childhood friends with him and we spoke infrequently over the years here and there, they said well he died this morning in a wreck. I about fell over apparantely he was going to the store to get some miscellaneous items for his family and when he went around a cruve there had been frost on the road and he slide and hit a tree, and died a short time later, given all the other times he had got lucky and for this to happen was no doubt ironic given he wasn't speeding or drunk. At this point I am as yourself almost the big 30 and it took me by complete surprise I don't know if I have trouble comprehending the fact he had a little girl and twin boys who were young and will never know their father or the fact that I wonder if maybe I should have tried to keep him on a better path than the path he took in high school or the fact he was my age and someone who I knew personally as well as his family, then I realize that things happen and what others ultimately do cannot be changed by myself.

Since we are on the subject of self realization and our mortality, here is a thought that haunts me. I remember nothing from before I was born and am not sure if I will remember anything after I die as even if your religious you know you will not know your being or have memories of your time on earth, so am I wrong to want to hold onto my memories for all their worth knowing that eventually they will disappear and be as if they never existed? If I live my life to the fullest and have the greatest memories doesn't that mean I will lose the most? I know this was long but I appreciate your allowing me to vent. I hope this allows others as yourself to know that it is okay to think or feel this way, even if it doensn't make a lot of sense. Good luck in the future, later

 

i work on an ambulance at a fire dept. and deal with death on a regular basis. one thing that ive learned when its your time your gonna die. no matter if your an athelit or not. one thing you cant do is dwell on it. just live your life. its not our choice its faith.

 

> So which is it, is life a goal or a process?

Life is a journey and a gift from God. What you do with your "talents" is up to you.

 

Life is a journey but a map never hurts.

 

Map takes all the fun out of it, Sinjin, try those travel guides instead with the points of interest listed

 

So far I've been through several near death experiences, I try to appreciate life to the fullest everyday. I don't always act or try the best I could every day, but I always try to keep what's the most important things dear to me, like my children and family.

I moved away from my hometown years ago, went to a website with my highschool class on it and found several old friends were now deceased. I said a silent prayer for them and someday we'll all be reunited once again.

 

Plan for tomorrow, but LIVE for today!

 

Sorry to hear about your friend. I attended a funeral two weeks ago for a coworker who committed suicide. It's been pretty rough.

Hang in there.

XXL

XXL

 

He wasn't a friend, and not even an acquaintance, I just know he graduated a few years before I did. He wasn't much more than a semi-known face in the crowd. Regardless. The shocking part in this is that it could have been me . I am almost same age, worse eating habits, could improve on my outdoor activity, etc. There was no reason that it had to be him - instead of someone else.

The only other experience I had with Mr. Death was when one of the students overdozed when sniffing paint or some stuff like that. That guy was same age as I. Remember his name and face well, we sat at the same table for lunch for a year. Stupid teenage thing. Never made it beyond 17. I wasn't really shocked, when you are 17, you don't grasp the magnitude of things and you certainly don't think it can be you, which it can.

Despite the subject line of the post, I am actually finding much positive in all this. It kind of makes my today more valuable, now more valuable. I am noticing things I never did notice.


the law: Truly, it is the "difficult to impossible" to prevent that really gets to us.


>> Good point, that's it.



Since we are on the subject of self realization and our mortality, here is a thought that haunts me. I remember nothing from before I was born and am not sure if I will remember anything after I die as even if your religious you know you will not know your being or have memories of your time on earth, so am I wrong to want to hold onto my memories for all their worth knowing that eventually they will disappear and be as if they never existed?


If I live my life to the fullest and have the greatest memories doesn't that mean I will lose the most? I know this was long but I appreciate your allowing me to vent. I hope this allows others as yourself to know that it is okay to think or feel this way, even if it doensn't make a lot of sense. Good luck in the future, later

Hm, interesting question.
I studied quite a bit about karma, etc eastern thought in my wild self-discovery youth (18) Cannot say that I accept that dogma, but it says that you are the sum of all of your past experiences and that when you shall we say move on, you retain what you have. Nothing is lost. I don't understand this, to be honest with you, not even sure it is true anymore. Probably is, but nobody knows for a fact.
The more questions I answer, the more questions are raised.



Of course. But it does adjust your attitude:
Things that used to be important aren't anymore.
Things that weren't important are now.



So far I've been through several near death experiences,

I've never had anything like, or anything major happen. I have had a fairly sheltered life with the exception of a few events.