Washington, D.C.

A Senate Committee composed of Senators Daschle, Clinton, and Feinstein have announced that the rescue of the Pennsylvania coal miners has been cancelled, and the miners will, by recommendation of the Committee, be placed back in the mine.

The Senators noted the following violations in the rescue process:

10. Heavy diesel equipment was moved to the rescue site without
concern for possible air pollution.

9. Water was pumped out of the mine without first determining if it
was polluted, or providing an environmentally safe containment area
for the water.

8. Numerous holes were drilled in the ground during the rescue,
without first performing an Environmental Impact study.

7. No effort was made to ensure racial, ethnic, and sexual diversity
of the rescue workers.

6. The Governor of Pennsylvania was heard to "Thank God" during a
live television broadcast of the rescue, violating the separation of
church and state.

5. Several people at this public, government supported, rescue
mentioned praying.

4. The trapped miners did not represent a diversified cross section
of American society.

3. Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Hillary Clinton were not given
sufficient time to make speeches at the site.

2. The Senate was not given sufficient time to determine whether or
not any Republican officeholder owned stock in the coal company, thus
being responsible for the conspiracy that caused the mine to flood.

And Number 1.

No one mentioned that Al Gore invented mine rescues.

"Once a diversified group of miners has been chosen and placed back
into the mine shaft, the holes will be sealed, the water will be
returned to the mine, and the rescue will then be undertaken again, in an
environmentally and politically correct manner", the Committee noted

 

LMFAO!!!!!!!
thanx i needed that today!!!

 

You're missing one -

Jesse Jackson would have gone down the original shaft because it was the wrong thing to do, and might have made all of the safety cautions look silly just so that he could claim he went there.

For all we know, the earth would have relented and offered the miners up -

But in the best of all worlds it would have SWALLOWED THE SON OF A BITCH!

(I'm on vacation from "Moderatorship")


~Wolf

 

Hey Wolf,
I hate it when you beat around the bush like that, just go ahead and speak your mind.

 

Beat around what bush?

I think Jesse sucks.

 

[updated:LAST EDITED ON 09-Aug-02 AT 11:57 PM (EST)] Why don't we put Jesse Jackson,Al Sharpton,Billary Clinton and Al Gore the 2x4 in the mine and bring the rescue up for vote.










Wiz

An Equal Opportunity Truck Lover!

http://www.clubfte.com/users/thewiz427/index.html

 

Because we don't believe in the things they do -

Such as "Plausible Deniability" for one.

And "Absence of Guilt" for another.

 

>I think Jesse sucks.

Your far too kind.

He's a hypocritical, money grubbing, lying, racist SOB.

 

My word, what a bunch of straight talking educated people here.. I concur will the definitions. I also agree with a number of above posts, with reference to supposedly reverend persons......



Wm
'96 F450 White with Grey interior Crew Cab. Banks Turbo, Intercooler and Exhaust,
Power pack Chip, shift kit, Auxiliary transmission, electronic enhanced transmission control,
16 forward and 4 reverse ratios. 340hp 660ft lb 4 wheel drive, 4.10 gears, 12,ooo# winch

 

he he he he he , that made my day

 

I was serfing Rush's website the other day and he said that had it not been for Lieberman and one of the Backstreet Boys, this may have never had happened. These two fruitcakes worried about the mining hurting the environment, testifying before Congress I believe, thus forcing the underground mining. Figures a liberal would care more about the environment than a human life, much less a group of hard working Americans.

Liberals

Gotta love your parody