Greetings from the sunny South! A few rules....
#1
08-06-2002, 09:05 PM
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Greetings from the sunny South! A few rules....
My Father-in-law sent this to me today. Thought you guys might find it humorous. Rules for visiting the South
Because of misunderstandings that develop when Yankees cross states such as NC, SC, and GA, those states Tourism Councils have adopted a new policy. In an effort to help outsiders understand the rural Southerners mind, the following list will be handed to each person as they enter the state.
1.That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than you do in the gym all week.
2. It’s called a “gravel-road”. No matter how slow you drive, you’re going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four-wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. The red dirt-it’s called clay. Red Georgia clay. If you like the color, don’t wash your car for a couple weeks-it’ll be permanent. The big lumps of it, they’re called “clods”.
4.We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
5. Any references to “corn-fed” when talking about our women will get you whipped….by our women.
6. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don’t cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for…..bait.
7. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
8. Men, if you want to wear earrings, pierce your nose or whatever, and wear your hair lo9ng---go right ahead—but if we call you ma’am, don’t be offended.
9. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might want to ensure it’s not up to your ear at the time.
10. That’s right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid for one drink at the airport.
11. No, there’s no “vegetarian special” on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
12. Tea?-yeah we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and is sweet. You want it hot-sit it in the sun. You want it unsweetened-add a lot of water.
13. You bring coke into my house it better be brown, wet, and over ice.
14. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We’re real impressed. We have a quarter of a million dollar combines we use two weeks a year.
15. Let’s get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it’s red. We may even stop when it’s yellow.
16. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks---- because they want to. So, you’re a feminist. Isn’t that cute?
17. We eat dinner together with our families, we pray before we eat (yeah, even breakfast), we go to church on Sundays, we go to high school football games on Friday nights, we still address our seniors with “yes, sirs” and “yes, ma’ams”, and we sometimes still take Sunday Drives around town to see friends and neighbors.
18. We don’t do “hurry up” well.
19. Greens- yeah, we have greens, but you don’t putt on them. You boil them with fat back or a ham hock.
20. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream, and carp, too. You really want sushi and caviar? It’s available at the bait shop.
21. They are pigs. That’s what they smell like. Get over it. Don’t like it? Interstate 95 goes two ways; Interstate 40 gores the other two. Pick one.
22. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt and pepper on them. You want to put milk and sugar on them- then you want cream of wheat- go to Kansas. That would be I-40 West.
23. The “Opener” refers to the first day of deer season. It’s a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.
24. So every person in a pick-up waves? Yeah, it’s called being friendly. Understand the concept?
25. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don’t hit the ball in the water hazards. It spooks the fish-and if you hit it in the rough, we have these things called diamondbacks, and they’re not baseball players.
26. That Highway Patrol officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot….his name is “sir”….no matter how old he is.
27. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park your Navigator under them, and they’ll leave a logo on your hood.
28. You burn an American flag in our state-you get beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our state legislatures (all 4 of them) enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $10 dollar fine for beating the person up.
Now, enjoy your visit. I emphasize “visit”.
Chuck
Because of misunderstandings that develop when Yankees cross states such as NC, SC, and GA, those states Tourism Councils have adopted a new policy. In an effort to help outsiders understand the rural Southerners mind, the following list will be handed to each person as they enter the state.
1.That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than you do in the gym all week.
2. It’s called a “gravel-road”. No matter how slow you drive, you’re going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four-wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. The red dirt-it’s called clay. Red Georgia clay. If you like the color, don’t wash your car for a couple weeks-it’ll be permanent. The big lumps of it, they’re called “clods”.
4.We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
5. Any references to “corn-fed” when talking about our women will get you whipped….by our women.
6. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don’t cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for…..bait.
7. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
8. Men, if you want to wear earrings, pierce your nose or whatever, and wear your hair lo9ng---go right ahead—but if we call you ma’am, don’t be offended.
9. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might want to ensure it’s not up to your ear at the time.
10. That’s right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid for one drink at the airport.
11. No, there’s no “vegetarian special” on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
12. Tea?-yeah we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and is sweet. You want it hot-sit it in the sun. You want it unsweetened-add a lot of water.
13. You bring coke into my house it better be brown, wet, and over ice.
14. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We’re real impressed. We have a quarter of a million dollar combines we use two weeks a year.
15. Let’s get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it’s red. We may even stop when it’s yellow.
16. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks---- because they want to. So, you’re a feminist. Isn’t that cute?
17. We eat dinner together with our families, we pray before we eat (yeah, even breakfast), we go to church on Sundays, we go to high school football games on Friday nights, we still address our seniors with “yes, sirs” and “yes, ma’ams”, and we sometimes still take Sunday Drives around town to see friends and neighbors.
18. We don’t do “hurry up” well.
19. Greens- yeah, we have greens, but you don’t putt on them. You boil them with fat back or a ham hock.
20. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream, and carp, too. You really want sushi and caviar? It’s available at the bait shop.
21. They are pigs. That’s what they smell like. Get over it. Don’t like it? Interstate 95 goes two ways; Interstate 40 gores the other two. Pick one.
22. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt and pepper on them. You want to put milk and sugar on them- then you want cream of wheat- go to Kansas. That would be I-40 West.
23. The “Opener” refers to the first day of deer season. It’s a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.
24. So every person in a pick-up waves? Yeah, it’s called being friendly. Understand the concept?
25. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don’t hit the ball in the water hazards. It spooks the fish-and if you hit it in the rough, we have these things called diamondbacks, and they’re not baseball players.
26. That Highway Patrol officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot….his name is “sir”….no matter how old he is.
27. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park your Navigator under them, and they’ll leave a logo on your hood.
28. You burn an American flag in our state-you get beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our state legislatures (all 4 of them) enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $10 dollar fine for beating the person up.
Now, enjoy your visit. I emphasize “visit”.
Chuck
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08-06-2002, 09:18 PM
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08-07-2002, 11:21 AM
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Greetings from the sunny South! A few rules....
We yankees will be sure to keep those rules in mind. 
Seriously though, the last time I was down in that neck of the woods was over 10 years ago - back then it was just too crowded, and I hear that it has gotten even worse. Way too many people around for my tastes, even in Texas. Of course, if I get any more antisocial I'll have to move to Alaska...I'm not what you'd call a "people person".
Remember, we don't all come from the East coast or big cities...it probably just seems that way looking at the tourists.
LK
Seriously though, the last time I was down in that neck of the woods was over 10 years ago - back then it was just too crowded, and I hear that it has gotten even worse. Way too many people around for my tastes, even in Texas. Of course, if I get any more antisocial I'll have to move to Alaska...I'm not what you'd call a "people person".
Remember, we don't all come from the East coast or big cities...it probably just seems that way looking at the tourists.
LK
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08-07-2002, 05:35 PM
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Greetings from the sunny South! A few rules....
[updated:LAST EDITED ON 07-Aug-02 AT 07:04 PM (EST)] "we say grace and we say ma'am, if ya aint into that we dont give a damn"- A Country Boy Can Surive, Hank Williams Jr.!
being stuck up north in Cleveland.....Hank is the only thing that keeps me sane! people look at ya funny if you call them sir or ma'am up here.
and yes, i know my nick is Icelander and Iceland is waaaaay up north, but im only half icelandic and grew up in the Great state of Virginia.
the Tea thing is the best! anybody from the south knows that Hardee's tea is the greatest. they sell it in half gallon or gallon jugs for cryin out loud! i went into the ONLY Hardee's in the greater cleveland area, asked for a large tea........took a sip.....and spit it out! it wasnt sweet! i asked the lady behind the counter why it wasnt sweet and she told me " you didnt ask for sugar" WHAT! and by sugar she ment sugar packets! IT WAS A HARDEE'S! you dont ask for sugar when you order tea!
the BEST was the COKE one. "it better be brown, wet and served over ice" thats great!
great post man! im sure this one will go "blue and gray" in a hurry!
*grumbles* damn yankees :-X23
being stuck up north in Cleveland.....Hank is the only thing that keeps me sane! people look at ya funny if you call them sir or ma'am up here.
and yes, i know my nick is Icelander and Iceland is waaaaay up north, but im only half icelandic and grew up in the Great state of Virginia.
the Tea thing is the best! anybody from the south knows that Hardee's tea is the greatest. they sell it in half gallon or gallon jugs for cryin out loud! i went into the ONLY Hardee's in the greater cleveland area, asked for a large tea........took a sip.....and spit it out! it wasnt sweet! i asked the lady behind the counter why it wasnt sweet and she told me " you didnt ask for sugar" WHAT! and by sugar she ment sugar packets! IT WAS A HARDEE'S! you dont ask for sugar when you order tea!
the BEST was the COKE one. "it better be brown, wet and served over ice" thats great!
great post man! im sure this one will go "blue and gray" in a hurry!
*grumbles* damn yankees :-X23
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#8
08-07-2002, 09:38 PM
Greetings from the sunny South! A few rules....
By Icelander -
> being stuck up north in Cleveland.....Hank is the only
>thing that keeps me sane! people look at ya funny if you
>call them sir or ma'am up here.
Trust me - people look at you funny now-a-days for the "Ma'am" and "Sir's" down here also.
As for Hank, Jr. - Steve thinks he's the greatest. Myself, I'm a Merle kinda person. Steve has a point in that Hank can do more versitile stuff, and although I do think Hank is great, Merle is still the greatest. (Guess I can't get past liking that twangy stuff.)
> the Tea thing is the best!
You would love my mother-in-law. Steve warned me about the tea. (Yeah, I'm a born yankee even though I've been here since 1976) The first sip I took, I spit it out - even rock candy ain't that sweet.
RECIPE -
Boil small pot of water (2-3 cups) and 6 tea bags
Pour boiled concoction into "1/2 gallon pitcher
Add 3 cups sugar (if you want sweet tea, add 4 to 5 cups sugar)
- stir while still warm -
Fill reminder of pitcher with cold water
Pour over Ice and enjoy
On a personal note - I drink Diet Coke when we go to visit - can't handle the sugar water.
Carlene
> being stuck up north in Cleveland.....Hank is the only
>thing that keeps me sane! people look at ya funny if you
>call them sir or ma'am up here.
Trust me - people look at you funny now-a-days for the "Ma'am" and "Sir's" down here also.
As for Hank, Jr. - Steve thinks he's the greatest. Myself, I'm a Merle kinda person. Steve has a point in that Hank can do more versitile stuff, and although I do think Hank is great, Merle is still the greatest. (Guess I can't get past liking that twangy stuff.)
> the Tea thing is the best!
You would love my mother-in-law. Steve warned me about the tea. (Yeah, I'm a born yankee even though I've been here since 1976) The first sip I took, I spit it out - even rock candy ain't that sweet.
RECIPE -
Boil small pot of water (2-3 cups) and 6 tea bags
Pour boiled concoction into "1/2 gallon pitcher
Add 3 cups sugar (if you want sweet tea, add 4 to 5 cups sugar)
- stir while still warm -
Fill reminder of pitcher with cold water
Pour over Ice and enjoy
On a personal note - I drink Diet Coke when we go to visit - can't handle the sugar water.
Carlene
#9
08-07-2002, 10:30 PM
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Greetings from the sunny South! A few rules....
While we are talking about the great ones, let's doff our hats and pause awile for ole Waylon.
BROKEBRONCO
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BROKEBRONCO
84 Bronco 351HO/C-6/208/10.25 Rear/D44TTB Soon to have D60 Front/NP435
86 F250 351HO/C6/10.25 Soon to have a front axle and the ZF tranny
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08-07-2002, 11:54 PM
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Greetings from the sunny South! A few rules....
You forgot one thing.
Whenever you go to the zoo, up north there is a picture and description of the animal where down south the is a picture, discription and a recipe for the animal.
Great post, will have to find it but used to have pages of that kind of stuff. Have to say, went up north once and after about a week those damn yankees were so bad I was almost crying to go home.
Whenever you go to the zoo, up north there is a picture and description of the animal where down south the is a picture, discription and a recipe for the animal.
Great post, will have to find it but used to have pages of that kind of stuff. Have to say, went up north once and after about a week those damn yankees were so bad I was almost crying to go home.
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08-08-2002, 02:39 AM
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Greetings from the sunny South! A few rules....
I am heading to SC in about a week and can't wait to get back to enforce those rules 
I am in South Dakota right now and don't let the name fool ya it is not the South. I cannot wait to get back there and have some of mom's beans and cornbread. She makes the best biscuits and gravy and grits.
well enough getting home sick now
Buck Rogers
2000 F-150 4X4 Off-Road
Deep Wedgewood Blue
5.4 Triton V-8
"Southern born,southern bred, and one day i will be southern dead."
--author unknown
I am in South Dakota right now and don't let the name fool ya it is not the South. I cannot wait to get back there and have some of mom's beans and cornbread. She makes the best biscuits and gravy and grits. well enough getting home sick now
Buck Rogers
2000 F-150 4X4 Off-Road
Deep Wedgewood Blue
5.4 Triton V-8
"Southern born,southern bred, and one day i will be southern dead."
--author unknown
#13
08-08-2002, 06:39 AM
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Greetings from the sunny South! A few rules....
Carlene, 3-5 cups of sugar in a pitcher of tea...you trying to make tea flavored snow cone syrup?
For anyone who tried the recipe and thought it was a little too sweet, try using 1 cup of sugar. If you thought the tea was a little strong (the darker the stronger) add water to the pitcher when you mix the tea & sugar.
Everyone likes it different...
For anyone who tried the recipe and thought it was a little too sweet, try using 1 cup of sugar. If you thought the tea was a little strong (the darker the stronger) add water to the pitcher when you mix the tea & sugar.
Everyone likes it different...
#14
08-08-2002, 07:09 AM
Greetings from the sunny South! A few rules....
If you have a coffee maker try this.
Use three(or four if want stronger) large size tea bags and make the pot of tea.Take a gallon jug add 2 to 2 1/2 cups of sugar and add tea mix and add cold water to top mix again and you're done.
Hmmmmm.... tea flavored snow cone syrup i'll have to try that
Wiz
An Equal Opportunity Truck Lover!
http://www.clubfte.com/users/thewiz427/index.html
Use three(or four if want stronger) large size tea bags and make the pot of tea.Take a gallon jug add 2 to 2 1/2 cups of sugar and add tea mix and add cold water to top mix again and you're done.
Hmmmmm.... tea flavored snow cone syrup i'll have to try that
Wiz
An Equal Opportunity Truck Lover!
http://www.clubfte.com/users/thewiz427/index.html
#15
08-08-2002, 08:13 AM
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Greetings from the sunny South! A few rules....
Different over here as well.
I fill the pitcher I'm about to put tea in in a large pot, throw 8 tea bags, bring it to a boil. Boil for five minutes. I then put it on back and let it sit for an hour with tea bags still in the pot. Then I fill the pitcher with the tea and add three of 3/4 cup of sugar.
I fill the pitcher I'm about to put tea in in a large pot, throw 8 tea bags, bring it to a boil. Boil for five minutes. I then put it on back and let it sit for an hour with tea bags still in the pot. Then I fill the pitcher with the tea and add three of 3/4 cup of sugar.