OK so i need some advise, my boyfriends mom is building a house and he's offered her to live with us while her house is being built. It'll take three months for her house to be built. To bring you up to speed, i moved in with him so its his house, and he's a mama's boy. Well he didnt even ask me if it was ok if she moved in he just told me she was moving in for three months. I'm not sure what i should do....See our house is pretty much the size of a small school house in the old days, and right now it's him, me, and his son. So in two weeks, we''ll add one more person. Plus his mom is really religious, she's gonna have bible study at our house and she'll preach if we have a beer while she's here. I'm not sure how to deal with it, for one he didnt ask me he just told me she was moving in, and for two when i ask him why he did this without asking me he says i have nothing to complain about. So here's my dilema, i've got many friends who have offered me to live with them for three months, do i move out for three months or do i stay here for three months knowing if i do our relationship will never servive because of how she'll be with anything we do....not to mention well we'll go three months without any kissing or hugging because she's that religious...in her eye's we need to be married before we pretty much touch. I guess I'm looking for advise, do i move out for those three months or do i stay???

 

RUN! Run very fast, don't look back...

But then I ain't no Ann Landers or anything.

 

That's what i'm thinking too!!! I guess if you look at it ive got a three month break, if we survive that then we're good if not then i know we were never meant to be! It really sucks for me, the mother-in-law moving in is never good....especially when she's nothing like us!

 

That is rotten of him to not talk about it with you.
Even though it is his house,the fact that you spend your time there (sleep there) he should have been more respectful of your feelings.

Okay, Now that's out of the way.

Take your friends offer to stay with them.

Your boyfriend will soon realize the mistake he made and may want to entice you back.
Hold your ground.

Let him know that it was him that initiated this whole thing,so he should let you know after his mother is gone,then you will up for discussion whether this relationship between him & you should continue.

There are plenty fish in the sea.

 

That's my thoughts, even thought it's his place he should have asked me. And he didnt but yet i have no reason to complain....Thank you MillIon i feel the same way i should take my friends offer and if we are still together aftet that great and if he or i find it better when we're apart then yep you are right there are more fish in the sea!!! Keep the advise coming please, it's been great so far the more the better!!!!

 

He should have talked with you before making that sort of decision. However, you speak volumes when you say that your relationship won't survive. In all seriousness, this is only for three months. If you really feel that way, just imagine what 3, 5, 10, 20 years are going to be like. It really has nothing to do with religion. Move out for the three months and use the time to think about what you want.

 

I would say take this opportunity and escape from this nonsense.
You boyfriend obviously cares nothing about your opinion. If he is a momma's boy now that is how he will be in the future. Find you somebody that will treat you right and value your contirbutions.

 

I can see why he might be compeled to put up his mother while she builds the house, but it is HIS house and if she moves in she should understand that she's not going to take over. She needs to be told that and to agree to that. If you two want to dance around in the buff then you should be able to do it. As far as the bible study goes, if you can go out that night, okay, otherwise, tell her to have her bible study somewhere else.

If he's too much of a mama's boy to lay down the law, then kick him to the side of the road and move on. This is just a glimps of what's coming.

 

Interesting views...

I would simply talk it over with him and stand your ground. If you want a future with him he needs to know that you'll not run away at the first sign of adversity.

I'd say just be yourself. Be polite with his mother, but don't try and be something you're not. If its meant to be, it'll work out.

 

That is an awful choice to have to make..

This relationship does not seem to be a smooth runner, and as such, should you be in it?

Theo

 

If your initial thoughts are to move out...I'd act on them.

If it were my mother and she had a situation where she needed a place to stay for three months I'd happily take her in. If it were my mother in-law I'd buy her a plane ticket to Arizona to stay with her son.

Good luck

 

Sounds like the first of many problems.

 

I have alittle different point of view. first, even if you moveout don't alienate his mother. Second, somewhere down the road he will be the sole heir of her entire estate.....which if you're still around ....will also enhance your existenance. You can use your "femine leverage" on him and make your point . Don't create a situation that becomes "it's either her or me". Rather, tell his mother that you are staying with friends so that she can have a place to stay. You can turn this experience into a long term positive situation for both by exercising alittle patience. Someday you'll maybe Living In mama's house so you might want to help her pickout the colors for the interior.. so many details for your Future home. Alittle patience will payoff if you just look alittle farther down the road. sk

 

Hmmm, mother-in-law's do have a tendency to drive us nuts, now don't they? I've actually been really lucky with mine, but there are always those times. No matter WHO you end up with at SOME point you're going to be duking it out with the in-laws, IMO anyway. We see his parents occasionally, not months apart in visits but not everyday either. One of the last times we were over, his mom looks at him and says, 'Hey, there stranger. WHo are you?" Like she NEVER sees him. Then she sees me and goes on and on about "the one that took her son away from her" I felt like saying 'you should count yourself lucky you had him as long as you did" (he lived at home well after turning 18) but instead of starting a battle with some dumb little comments you have to just let it go. His parents have had a hard time letting go of him which can be frustrating for me, when she calls daily (THANK GOD FOR CALLER ID!!!) but its not worth starting a battle over. (My parents were so happy I was leaving!!! I think my little sis is the only one that actually misses me! ) Anyway, the point is that if you really want to make a life with him, forget about his mom. She can only bother you if you let her. And if you're not interested in putting up with her now, and feel you never will, then get out now and quit playing games with them. And I do agree that he should have discussed this with you first. It may be his house but its your home too, so let him know how you feel.

 

While not a huge life decision, or financial decision, the fact that he never consulted you about it shows something. He does not take you into account or asks you when there are going to be somewhat major changes. His mom moving in for 3 months is a big thing, it's gonna shake up the house a bit, especially if she's going to be holding functions at the house. Talk to him, voice your concerns, go about it nicely though. But the fact that he made this decision, w/o asking you may mean he'll make other, bigger decisions w/o asking you. Men who treat their mothers well, usually make good husbands, boyfriends, but being a momma's boy is something else. If he decides to be stubborn, move in with your friends...he'll come crawling back if he really cares.