DEMOCRAT

You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You vote people into office that put a tax on
your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.
The people you voted for then take the tax
money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.
You feel righteous.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.



SOCIALIST

You have two cows.

The government takes one and gives it to your
neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage
his cow.



REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none.

So?



COMMUNIST

You have two cows.

The government seizes both and provides you with
milk.

You wait in line for hours to get it.

It is expensive and sour.



CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.

You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of
cows.



DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.

The government taxes you to the point you have
to sell both to support
a man in a foreign country who has only one cow,
which was a gift from your government.



BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.

The government takes them both, shoots one,
milks the other, pays you
for the milk, and then pours the milk down the
drain.



AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do
an IPO on the 2nd one.

You force the two cows to produce the milk of
four cows.

You are surprised when one cow drops dead.

You spin an announcement to the analysts stating
you have downsized and are reducing expenses.

Your stock goes up.



FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.

You go to lunch.

Life is good.



JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size
of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded
trains.

Most are at the top of their class at cow
school.



GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You engineer them so they are all blond, drink
lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles
an hour.

Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of
vacation per year.



ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they
are.

While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.

You break for lunch.

Life is good.



RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have some vodka.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You have some more vodka.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

The Mafia shows up and takes over however many
cows you really have.



TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are
two.

You can't milk them because you can't touch the
cows' private parts.

Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them
up while they were in the hospital.


POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.

Employees are regularly maimed and killed
attempting to milk them.




FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.

Everyone votes for the best looking one.

Some of the people who like the brown one best,
vote for the black one.

Some people vote for both.

Some people vote for neither.

Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.

Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell
you which is the best-looking one.



NEW YORK CORPORATION

You have fifteen million cows.

You have to choose which one will be the leader
of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.

 

Very good, didn't see that last one coming.

 

Good fun.

I didn't see the last one coming, either.

XXL

 

I know. I had to read it twice, and then I said, "oh, I know who that is."

 

Thus ends your course in political science.Your test scores will be posted next week.

 

hehe I liked that
Im glad to see that Fat cow get out of here tho.

 

Took me a second on the fat cow. Pretty good though. But so true.

 

Now that's funny!

Gr8ride

 

I am with Andy, granted she got out of here BEFORE I got here soo...but at least she is not herre now that I am here.

 

I never before realized the correlation between the bovine and the beareaucracy...

 

I predict that the FTE members will milk this subject for all it is worth.

 

If we do that much milkin', we should open a Dairy...

 

Hahaha, man had to read it again lol

 

Dang Right Jimmy Dean.
Welcome to Arkansas
We got good milk here

 

I really liked that.

How does this sound:

TEXAS CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You endlessly boast they are the biggest two cows in existence.
You shamelessly proclaim your cows produce the finest milk, that in turn is the reason Blue Bell ice cream is so good.
Your cows won Best In Show at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, and you ain't gonna let us forget it.
You notice your neighbors are building a barbeque pit big enough for.....two cows.