Ok guys....why is it that a guy can stare at you all night but not come up and say "hi", or ask you to dance? This dude that (I think) liked me last year...he is from one of my classes I took....was starin the whole nite! Stupid me, decided to wait for him to say hi...but nope! He just stared, and when I was about to go "bump into" him and strike a conversation...he left!! AGHHH!!!


Gig'em

 

Maybe he was shy or waiting for you to talk to him first.It used to the guy who made the *first move* but in todays society anything who knows.


Wiz

"Fear leads to anger;anger leads to hate;hate leads to suffering"........Yoda

http://www.clubfte.com/users/thewiz427/index.html

 

Maybe ya had a big piece of spinach or something stuck on your tooth, and he couldnt help but stare at it, and was to afraid to tell ya.....maybe.

More likely he's a bit shy. While I've never met you, you seem very self confident and outgoing. Those are great traits, but they can sure scare the heck out of a guy.

hey what have you come up with for your college plan? hope your dad is doing well.......

Drew

 

If you've ever seen the movie "Tremors"; there's a line at the end that says it all: "What would a woman like her want with a guy like me?" Guys that are shy tend to think in terms of what they have to offer a woman and not what they can get from them. Then again, his ego might have had him waiting for you to approach him. If you had other guys around you, he might not have felt comfortable "trying to compete". Lottsa possible reasons why the situation was a miss-fire.

 

Dating rituals haven't changed much. The fear of rejection causes people that could relate to hang back until the opportunity passes, maybe forever. There is someone out there just right for you. He might be shy, he could be the ugliest wrench in the tool box. But he might have the biggest heart and more loyalty than the flashier models. Next time you get that feeling go on over, stick out your hand and at least make a friend. Years ago I used to work out in a gym. There was one woman in the place, beautiful, strong, poised and pursued by all the guys. I thought she wouldn't want to know a big old mean looking redneck like me. One day she passed me and all I could blurt out was "know any good Chinese resturants?" She grinned and said "I can show you one, but you have to take me with you". Her name is Selena, we have three kids now. Our youngest is 20 and the oldest 24. Yep, I know that I am blessed.

 

Yeah, I think the guy was shy. Most of us really are when the chips are on the table. Since you think you were taking classes together, that was a perfect ice breaker topic to mosey on over and startup a conversation... "Hey, weren't you in that nuclear phyics class with professor Blowsemup last semester?"

Now that I am older and married, I look back on my college days and kick myself in the head. I was way too shy to strike up a conversation even when in 20/20 hindsite, I now realize that certain ladies might have had an interest in me and were giving me an opening to start a conversation. Oh how I wish some of those cuties had asked me a question like the above. Us guys really love it when a lady starts a conversation, once we get over our shyness. You may have trouble shutting him up once he is comfortable.

Sometimes we are too dumb to take the hint, so go ahead and start up a simple conversation. If we are not interested or are a jerk, you'll know soon enough. Guys are really pretty simple creatures, but we usually like to talk.

Good Luck, you're gonna need it, we all did.

Jim Henderson

 

A couple of weeks ago a girl (who i am very good friends with) hit on me and it really surprised cause i didn't think she like me other than a friend and that why i haven't asked her out cause i'm afraid if it doesn't work out we might lose our friendship. Sometimes thats why some guys don't ask girls out cause they afraid of that of that.

Cody, Coutts Alberta

82' Flareside: zoom zoom doesn't even begin to describe it, 2/4 Drop, Soon to have 325hp 351 Clevo (maybe more,in a 3600lb truck)Backed by a C6 with a 2000 rpm stall and a 3.50 9 incher, American Racing AR-23 (series 23) wheels, Upgraded interior, Sony Xplod stereo

 

he was shy. he didn't wanna be rejected so he sat there all night and looked at you. he didn't wanna be rejected

 

Yeah he was shy, Sometimes I like to go talk to women and other times I will just wait to find out that nothing usually happens. If the girl makes the first move it is so much easier.

 

I'd say he was very shy. A lot of shy people don't handle rejection very well, thus they become more introverted & shy. You should try making the first move if you find him interesting, that may be all he needs to open up to you.

 

I'm shy, at first, like this guy. I feel deep down it is a fear of rejection. I wish I was a little more open around girls but I guess when the right one comes along, I'll know.

 

Jen: Boys are shy and men are bold. What do you need with a boy? Next time take along a portable camera, hand it to the "starer", and ask him to take a picture.:-staun

Therefore, if you are dealing with a boy, then expect further immaturity in other aspects in a relationship with him. If you are only interested in playing for the evening, then by all means play, but keep in mind the level of maturity. Otherwise, stick with men.
We can be difficult enough!

Good luck kid.

 

Brien: I agree with you a fair amount of the time, but I think you're way off-base with this one. In general, the kind of guy who walks up to a woman in a bar or club is often the same kind of guy who is looking for a quick fling and not a serious relationship...the guy looking for something more serious takes his time. Or, to put it in another way - the guy who is good at approaching women is usually good at it because he's done it so many times...which is generally not a good thing, at least not as far as the woman is concerned.

Also, shyness around women has nothing whatsoever to do with maturity - in fact, people who are rather shy tend to be *more* mature than others who are not. A lot of time what seems bold is just the reckless (& senseless) abandon of youth, while what seems shy is perhaps better called cautious - I believe there is a passage from The Art of War that refers to this, but I can't remember it off the top of my head. Not that war and relationships are comparable...though I've seen some that were close.

Jen: As others have said, the guy was just being shy or cautious - if you've decided you like him, don't hesitate to be the one to make the first move. It used to be that men always approached women, but times have changed (at least for younger folk) and nowadays I think it works both ways.

LK

 

LK: You may be correct. I have been out of this loop for twenty five years. However, my only point is that a man who is secure in his person, generally would not be "shy" about approaching a stranger, man or woman. I agree with you about a "wolf". But I stand firm with regard to a boy. Generally speaking, someone who is insecure about approaching a stranger in a social setting, man or woman, is usually not a mature person. Afterall, the "bar" scene is where folks go to meet other folks. I realize that there are exceptions, but shyness in a mature adult, in social settings, is generally considered different from the norm.

However, since I have been out of the "dating" scene for 25 years, I can be an ancient mariner in these waters. I reached into my self confidence and self esteem when answering Jen's question. I have no problem approaching strangers in social situations, so I would expect others to be the same way. Otherwise, why would one be in the social situation? Oh I forgot, to stare at girls/women Just kidding.

It is my limited observation that Jen was dealing with a young man that was, for some, or many reasons, perhaps intimidated by women. Why else would he "stare" and choose not to approach?

 

LK is correct here. Age & maturity have absolutely nothing to do with shyness. Never have, never will. Just because you are not a shy person doesn't mean there is something wrong with someone who is shy.

I'm 40 years old, I didn't date for more than 10 years because I was too shy to make the first move, and I'd been badly hurt in previous relationships. I'd probably still be alone to this day if my wife hadn't made the first move more than 2 years ago. I've always been able to talk to anyone who made the initial contact, but I've rarely been able to start up a conversation with a stranger on my own. I'm still that way to this day, it's something in my personality that causes me to close up when I'm faced with starting a conversation with someone I don't already know.