Shamelessly stolen from another forum.

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the *******s." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.


No offense intended to anyone!!

hj

 

Good clean fun, I love it.

 

Very funny, albeit just a bit of truth too?

Just poking gentle fun of course but I wonder how that same author would describe the USA's various threat levels?

 

nice Sunday morning chuckle

 

Sounds about right...

 

Braveheart In Defiance Of The English Tyranny! BRAVO - YouTube

 

Pretty on par. The germans aren't doing to much here unless its within 5 miles of the base.

 

Freakin' HILARIOUS!!!

 

VERY NICE! If only I werent outta rep...

 

I don't know how it is possible to laugh, fart, hiccup, belch, and sneeze at the same time, but I just did it!

~pray for me, I'm apparently disfunctional~

The Irish HAVE NO official army that I am aware of, and the Irish NAVY reports that no submarines have been discovered in their waters, but amazing numbers of Jack Mackeral have appeared...

 

omg that is so funny!!!!

 

While in England

Four Lions (Accidental Suicide) Funny Scene - YouTube

 

All Ireland has is the IRA.

 

Ireland HAS a army..........I remember in the credits of "Braveheart" and "Saving Private Ryan" that the Irish Army provided all the extras for the battle scenes.

Unlike the French, they at least can ACT like they can fight.

 

The Irish fight amongst themselves when the beer is out.

Póg mo Thóin