Axis of Evil Wannabes, by John Cleese

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right, they are Just as Evil; in their dreams!", declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evil; best at being evil; we're the best,"

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they would join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy and Japan in the evil axis. So you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool".

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs.

Cuba, Sudan and Serbia said they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil"; forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable".

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierre Leone, El Salvador and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries that aren't the Worst but Certainly Won't be Asked to Host the Olympics".

Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations that are Actually Quite Nice but Secretly have some Nasty Thoughts about America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries that be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted proval for most axis, although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, leaders said that it's only because no one asked them.

-How I miss Monty Python's Flying Circus.

 

Albatross!

 

I got this one a long time ago right after the "Axis of Evil" speech. LMAO then, LMAO now.

John Cleese is a comic genious.

Waxy

 

"It could be an African swallow"

 

I wonder if the Kamikaze Highlanders would join them?

 

The leadership of Saddams regime is obviously well practiced in the art of "How Not To Be Seen."
That or they've all been replaced with penguins.

 

Just remember at the end of "how not to be seen" the guy "not being seen" gets blown up

 

"Come back and fight, I 'll bite your legs off !"

 

But African swallows are non-migratory.

I don't miss MP at all. A few years ago Comedy Central had a Monty Python-athon and played all the episodes of Flying Circus back to back. Including two made for German TV with english subtitles.

My friend recorded the whole thing start to finish and I copied the tapes. I also own every movie except for "Live at the Hollywood Bowl" and one other I can't think of.

So, instead of missing it, I watch it.

Few things compare to Monty Python when it comes to comedy.

Kevin K.

 

"Oh a leg, Your looking for a leg"



"A tiger, A tiger in Africa"


My two all time favourite Python lines next to "Albatross"

 

"Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam..."

"Lemon Curry????"

 

I love the "Dead parrot,Spam and Wink Wink Nudge Nudge" skits.


"Your mother was a hampster and your father smelled of elderberries!"

 

Just a wee after dinner mint?

 

RUN AWAY!! RUN AWAY!!



I still get into debates whether it's a African or European Swallow.


What, is your favorite color?

Nudge nudge, wink wink. I may have to fire up the VCR this weekend and watch something with MP in it.

I'm not dead yet! I'm getting better!

 

"But I always wanted to be a LUMBRRJACK"