This is my second and last vacation of the year. The first one wasn't a vacation because we had family members in the hospital. So I thought this vacation would be good. Stupid me...he just made it very clear how its going to be. I am totally done I will no longer try. I wasted a whole week trying to have a good time with dad. I swear I will never do this again. He has spent the whole week being a total jerk to me and mom. Giving us the silent treatment or just making hateful comments. And he is really topping it off today. I am trying to stay out of his way today just so I dont tick him off. And I got up from watching tv to make lunch, so he goes into the living room. So I decide to get on the computer to play a game. The spot we have the two desks its close and is in a corner so we have to share the one chair. So I get up from the chair to get me a drink and then I was going to go back to playing my game. Yep you guessed it he quickly gets up to play on the other computer. And he was perfectly able to see that I was coming right back. He did this twice , the back and forth from the tv to the computer. I can't take it anymore, it is driving me crazy! If I could I would move out at this point. Instead I'm stuck with trying to stay out of the way and just ignoring the hurt. I'm having a hard time dealing with stuff and need a lot of prayers. I know it may seem odd I ask for prayers here and not at the church, but were all human and sadly I just dont trust most people. So I dont really have anyone to talk to. Thanks.

 

Find someone to trust...they are out there....

 

First of all I'll ask that you find some strength.
Then I'll say that he is somehow trying to make himself disruptive in a bid for attention.
Receiving attention for a negative act is a positive reinforcement of that act.
Is there a way of just asking what is bothering him?

 

Their is no askin. He just gets this way out of the blue and you can't say anything to him. It has been this way my whole life. I am done trying now. He will have to put some effort into it.

 

Somewhere between both edges is the middle ...most difficult to find but worth it

 

I got your prayers. There on the way.

 

as soon as You stop letting him control you , you will be less apt to have it bother you ...

 

I can really appreciate the situation you're in, and trust me, it WILL get better. When I was in high school, my Dad was my best friend, we did lots of stuff together, always got along, it was a good time. After high school, I moved to Phoenix to go to school, and we talked on the phone weekly, things were still good. But after I graduated, I couldn't find a job and at 21, I had to move back home. Things were definitely different now. For some reason, we never got along now. I wanted to move out, but with no job and no money, it wasn't happening. I found a job, worked for about a year, thought I could move out, then lost that job when the place went out of business. Again, I was out of work for six months, got depressed, Dad and I didn't talk much and there was lots of tension. Then the impossible became possible, I actually got a job I had been trying to get for over a year and a half. Good pay, good benefits, retirement, the whole works. In fact, I still work there today, 27 years later. . Dad was thrilled for me, and not just because I could now move out, he felt I had finally grown up. Later, I found out that he went to a good friend who was a superintendent and got me the interview, since the HR guy hated my guts and actually had thrown out my application. My Dad, the guy who I thought, felt I was useless had gone to bat for me and turned my life around. Maybe things aren't exactly as they seem, and maybe they are, my point is, be patient, be as respectful as you can and keep trying to make your life better. It'll happen, you just need to keep trying. I once read success is getting up just one more time than you get knocked down. I truly believe it to be true.

 

Hang in there as best you can. Go take a walk or something when he starts his passive-aggression nonsense. Smile and say goodbye pleasantly. Maybe it will stop being fun once he realizes he can't annoy you with his game.

 

I'm praying for you. Stay strong and keep your faith. Things will get better.

 

Thank you all. I'm still trying just to ignore his crap. The last 2 days have really pushed me. I will admitt I could have handled myself better today when trying to Help sweep a broken plate up. I threw a dust pan down...i just couldn't be in the same room with him. The more I try...the more of a jerk he is. And it doesn't help that I had another thorn in my side today....that's another long story of some who I'm done, with. And to boot....had fam gathering today, I basically am invisable 90% of the time. I just really feel lost....i have to be the strong one for mom and try not to let her see it hurt me. But that's getting harder to do. I perty much have lost what few friends I had. One is in china and the others have turned out not to be friends, and the last one I had to talk too has went from hanging out with me to just txting that we need to get together or canceling our night out.
I'm back to where I was when I first joined here....funny how I can't get away from "my life".

 

Little Girl -

GET UP
GITTY UP
GET OUT OF THERE!


~You know more than enough now to make your own life, and get on with it.

DON'T you?


I don't know any other way to say it.

We once and for all have to (HAVE TO!) leave the nest.

All of us.

IT'S ON YOU if you are there any longer, isn't it?


High time for you to create your own life and world.

NO EXCUSES

I managed it, and somehow so must you.

Little birds cannot stay in the nest forever - no matter how comfortable it may seem.

Get out! And do it well.

There really is only one person RESPONSIBLE for making the rest of your life happen.

You see that one, when you look in a mirror

~Greywolf sendz


PS: I can only carry you so far - at some point you have to have the strength to pick YOURSELF up


All young ones are afraid to fly
They see that they have wings, but are afraid to fall...
A good parent teaches the young to fly
When they fail - it is up to the young themselves, isn't it?
That is the hard way....


Been there and dunnit!

You might be better than me...

 

I know, I don't think it will ever change. He is who he is. I am saving money to get where I want in life. I just wish that it included a good relationship with my father.

 

You have to leave home.

At the very least, talk to you mom about how much you hurt, even if you don't want her to know. She may well go to bat for you and maybe get your dad to smarten up.

I'm not real good at giving advice about dysfunctional relationships, as I'm not a part of one. But as a dad with a daughter, it baffles me that your dad would treat you as he does. I'll let you in on a secret though, when my daughter hugs me, all my worries disappear.

 

Do you have any relatives you can move in with or maybe some family from your church?