If only pain didn't exist. I'm at a point in my life ....a point I have never been able to stay away from very long. I was raised honestly...no fairy tales...no knight to slay the dragon and rescue me from the tower. Shoot I even knew all of that when I was in elementary school.
I have country sense because I was raised to deal with life. I know I dont have it half as bad as most people out there. And that's why I dont normally post crap like this. But I found this site because it has what I have been looking for. A place I can be me and not be judged. A place that I have constant support. And a place that I can't see that look on someones face that makes me feel stupid or useless.
If only all of life was like FTE, but since it isn't I just wanted to say thanks to everyone. For always helping me deal with what life throws at me.

 

Did something happen today that you want to share with us?

 

Just tired of getting hurt by people I love. Coming to the realization that some things will never change. Hard to live in the same house with someone you cant even talk to other than a "did you email that person to sell your car". two days....silent treatment and that's all I get. Just tired of a one sided father/daughter relationship. It never has worked out, never have been able to talk. Never felt good enough.

 

This is your Dad you are talking about? I am sure it can't be as bad as may think it is right now. getting older is hard and tough....after 40 some odd years now it is still difficult and is very uncomfortable at times. But I would try not to sum up a relationship in one thread or paragraph. I am sure he has done MANY things to make you happy and proud and I am sure that is a 2 way street. I am sure he is a very proud father

 

I think you need your own house, bluntly.


THAT would solve everything, wouldn't it?

 

The major problem is he can't grasp that I need to be able to talk with him. It ends up with him mad at me. He has always provided money wise. Just hasn't provided emotionally. If I try talking to him just about how work went or what my nieces did that was funny, he is either on his phone/laptop or to bussy watching tv. He did cosign on a loan for me and I thanked him. I even got the insurance to help protect him incase somthing happened me, that way the loan would almost be fully paid off. Now he acts like that should be good enough. But yet when I got the vehical he yelled at me on the phone when I asked him to come to the bmv to sign a paper. Saying that he was, just in town. I had to say ok, I just won't be able to get plates. He acted like I knew he had already been in town. I took a total of one hour from his day and he didnt speak to me the rest of the day. Things like that, I try to be nice, chase cows, help him practice for a horse show and he just gets frustrated when I ask to go up to the house. Mind you its 11pm and I have to work in the morning. And then he will go another week without saying a word to me. Doesn't seem right when we live in the same house.

 

Sounds like the reason I moved out when I was sixteen and joined the Army when I was 18. My dad was like me(or I like him). nice enough guy,but easily irritated and short tempered. I tried like crazy to get along,but we kept butting heads. I knew he wasn't going to move out of his house,so I had to be the one to leave. 20 years later,I don't regret leaving,and we get along great now,even go fishing together and I go to his house and help on the weekends I have free if mom tells me he has a project going on(he won't ask for help,wonder where I got that from?lol). Just be yourself,respect him,and if things don't get better and you have to go,know you gave it your best and have no regrets. there are 5 kids in my family,and me and my oldest brother(the 2 he had the most trouble with) are pretty much the only two that come around the house unless it is a holiday.

 

I don't know how old you are, but like you said, you were raised. It may be time to go on your own. I'm sure your dad loves you, but have you put any thought that maybe he is ready to do his own thing after doing a great job of raising you?

I'm not trying to be mean here. I have 3 kids and 6 grandkids.

 

It's hard for dad's to raise little girls. It's hard for dad's to stop raising little girls. Even after they're grown, you realize there's so much more you should have taught them and you still don't believe they're actually ready to be all grown up (without you).

My guess is your dad doesn't realize how he's acting. It's hard to start thinking of kids like adults, and it sounds like he doesn't have anyone he'll listen to that can point these things out to him.

If you move out, I'll bet he'll think you don't come by and visit enough. I don't know you or him so I can't say much more than these general comments, but I wish you the best with your situation. Of course if you just feel like blowing off steam, that's ok too.

 

Thanks everyone. I know part of the problem is we are alike in alot of ways. Its just hard to keep this roller coaster going. I just wish he was more willing to open up. It helps having people to talk to when I reach my breaking point.

 

As others said, we don't know your age, nor your dad's. My dad (88) and I (57) live together and I feel just what you do. He is in the early sages of Alzheimer, and it is very hard to deal with. He is not te person I know as 'dad' quite often. Very easy to set off his temper, and when he goes, look out. I think I see similarities between you and my sister as well. He does not recognize that any if his kids are grown ups, he still sees himself as the 'boss'. Disagree with him, again, look out! I guess I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone in this type of situation. Feel free to communicate, I know it really helps just to unload to someone.