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Lost a very good friend a couple of days ago. Jay Duchemin, a good friend who owned a local resturant died in an auto crash on his way to his daughters wedding. What a shame. His daughter will forever connect his death with the day she got married. How she will cope with this I just don't know.
I've been on the phone with his daughter over the last couple of days and she is in terrible shape. The wedding is postponed for now, and I have a real problem. She has asked me to "give her away" in place of her dad when the wedding finally happens, but I'm not sure I can do it. I know I should do it for Jay, but the thought of standing up in front of that crowd brings tears to my eyes now. I'm afraid I'll be a basket case if I try, and that should be a happy day for her.
I do have very good memories of fishing the Columbia with Jay and hunting with him, but something I said to him will haunt me till MY dying day. Last fall we were on a fishing trip and Jay was giving me a hard time about driving my old Ford trucks. I remember telling him that he would probably die in his "tin-can" Toyota......................
Hey Brother, I think you are beating yourself up for no reason. When you said that I am sure it was with a smile and in a joking manner. No one wants their best friend to die in any way. I know it haunts you right now but try to put it in perspective. He knows you did not mean that literally.
Giving away Jay's daughter....That is a big honor that I am sure you will carry out proudly. She most likely will be playing on your demeanor, I am sure you will make Jay proud and his daughter will remember that day for the rest of her life.
Things are going to be OK Brother, let time do it's thing for now. Like I said earlier, You are in my thoughts.
Don...condolences to all he left behind...such a tragedy!!! Three years ago I had the honor of giving away the daughter of a very good friend of mine who passed tragically from brain cancer. I considered it a supreme honor to him...not a dry eye in the church!!! You'll rise to the occassion!!!
Sorry for your loss. But you know in your heart that your friend would want you to take his place in the wedding, and he'll be with you in spirit. Good luck!
My deepest sympathy to all involved.
Do one last favor for your friend and give his daughter away at the wedding, and drink a toast to him at the reception. Everybody will be feeling like you do so you won't be out of place. My prayers will be with you all.
Don, so sorry to hear of this tragic loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and his family.
With regard to the wedding, I can't think of a more flattering or higher honor than my best friend's daughter asking me to stand in for her dad to give her away. I know it will be tougher than a lot of things (if not anything) you've ever had to do, but just think of how you'll be honoring his memory by doing this for her, him, and their family.
On another note, you are a great friend. Anyone whose best friend's daughter thinks enough of her dad's best friend to ask him to give her away speaks volumes about the type of man and friend you truly are. Keep your chin up and your head held high buddy.....it will get better.
Don't beat yourself up over what you said to him. As was said above, it was all in jest and you and he knew that.
I'm sorry to hear this. I hope you told that girl yes, you would be honored to give her away when the time was right. She's in no better shape than you are right now. You two can draw strength from each other as you talk about things, and when you walk her down the aisle. And don't forget to start talking to, and asking about her future husband when you get a chance. That poor kid is in a very unfortunate situation and keeping him included will help her.
As for your tin can comment, if you weren't close enough to him to make comments like that in the first place, you probably wouldn't have even mentioned his passing here. Those kinds of comments are made in jest and both of you knew it. If something had happened to you in your Ford, would you want him to feel bad about poking fun of it for the rest of his life?
I've been on the phone with his daughter over the last couple of days and she is in terrible shape. The wedding is postponed for now, and I have a real problem. She has asked me to "give her away" in place of her dad when the wedding finally happens, but I'm not sure I can do it. I know I should do it for Jay, but the thought of standing up in front of that crowd brings tears to my eyes now. I'm afraid I'll be a basket case if I try, and that should be a happy day for her.
I can't think of a higher honor being given to YOU, Don.....Or a higher honor you can give to your departed friend. Please do it.
Thanks for all the kind words guys. I appreciate them more than you'll ever know. Yes, I told her I'd be very proud to take her dads place at her wedding, and I can guarantee there won't be a dry eye in the place. I had a talk with her future husband last night and he agreed to give her some time and not pressure her to go to quickly.
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