Jud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddy bikers who worked as aircraft mechanics in Dallas Tx. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!"

Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?"

So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hootch and got completely smashed.

The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he felt GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!

Then the phone rings. It's Jim.

Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"

Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"

Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"

Bud says, "No that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing.

We ought to do this more often."

"Yeah, well there's just one thing."

"What's that?"

"Have you farted yet?"

"No."

"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in Denver."

 

This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I locked the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys.

Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up and the phone was already ringing non-stop.

I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook."

"Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels; the phone was still ringing and getting me more than a bit annoyed.

When I stand up, I cracked my head on the open cash drawer which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke. You can imagine the stench of that mixed up perfume overload!

Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it.

It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. And believe me, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her!"

 

 

 

 

Anyone interested in knowing who those jeans belong to she's Ines Sainz!

 

I knew I recognized her!

 

Those are leggings made to look like jeans but who cares when she has an *** that good looking.

 

 

Here she is from the other side...

 

Why did the perv go into Victoria's Secret?

Their panties were half off.

 

When you can choose from your dream girls, which rims and tires do you get?

 

oh yeah, either side is totally fine!