Frank stands in front of the maid's room and looks through the keyhole.

Mother: "Frank go away from there, that does not concern us what Gabi does in her room!"

Frank: "Gabi does not do anything at all, only daddy moves like crazy!"

 

 

Guy goes to the Doc, "Doc I have these panic attacks!"
Dr. Test him gives him a checkup and says,
"Your fit as a fiddle, just put a paper bag up to you mouth,
if you feel anxious or panicky.
So, he goes home, has an attack, puts the bag up to his mouth
and drinks all the Jack Danials in the bottle.

 

 

 

Lil Daughter is running a Temp of 100.9, and I ask her if her ears hurt, "No!"
So I ask her, "Does your throat hurt a lil?" She runs away with her toy!
Then I ask, "Does your mouth hurt you a lil?" Immediately she says, "YES!"
(Maybe she is cutting Molars a couple at a time?")
" never mess with a woman cutting teeth is a thought !"

 

The Lil Woman is frustrated, buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex life.
She puts them on, together with a short skirt, and sits on the sofa opposite of me.
At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs...I ask, "Are you wearing crotchless panties?"
"Y-e-s," she, the seductress says with an alluring seductive smile.
"Thank f*** for that. I thought you were sitting on the cat."

 

"Oh MY God," sighed my wife, "I'm loosing my mind it's almost completely gone!"
"Sure," I looks at Her from my smart phone screen and comment,
"I'm not surprised: You've been giving me a piece of it every day for twenty years!"

 

My favorite patient comes in for his yearly checkup.
Afterwords, I meet with him in my private office.
I speaks, "Lee I have some bad news."
Lee says, "What, how long have I got to live?" "Ten Lee!"
"What, years, months, weeks", ..... " Nine Lee!".....

 

 

 

is that Kevin??

 

 

Most people remember Betsy Ross for making the first American Flag.

A lesser known fact about Ms. Ross is that she also gave us the polling techniques still commonly used by Gallup, Rasmussen, etc. She took her newly created flag, sampled the people around her for their opinion and was satisfied with its popularity before announcing it.

So Betsy Ross not only gave us the first American Flag, she also gave us the first flag poll!