The Safe for GNAC Joke Thread!!!
Fleet Owner
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There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor, who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he usually thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the local church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings.
Smokey put in a bid. Because his price was so low, he got the job.
So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it with turpentine.
Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church, and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold, to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.
Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried, "Oh God, Oh God, forgive me. What should I do?"
And from high above the thunder, a mighty voice spoke, "Repaint! Repaint and thin no more!"
Smokey put in a bid. Because his price was so low, he got the job.
So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it with turpentine.
Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church, and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold, to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.
Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried, "Oh God, Oh God, forgive me. What should I do?"
And from high above the thunder, a mighty voice spoke, "Repaint! Repaint and thin no more!"
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
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From: Near Cal. Avenue
There are these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park.
He is a widower and she a widow. They have known one another for a number of years.
One evening there is was a community supper in the big activity center.
These two are at the same table, across from one another, he making
a few admiring glances at her and finally gathers up his courage & asks her, "Will you marry me?"
After a dramatic pause and precisely six seconds of careful consideration, she answers. "Yes. Yes, I will."
The meal ends and with a few more pleasant exchanges and they go to their respective Mobile Homes.
Next door to each other. The next morning, he's troubled.
"Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?"
He can't remember. Try as he can, he just can't recall.
Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he Messengers her.
First, he types to her that he doesn't remember as well as he used to,.
It was a lovely evening, "When I asked if you would marry me,
did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
He's delighted to read her answer.
"Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart."
"I am so glad that you messengered me
because I couldn't remember who asked me."
He is a widower and she a widow. They have known one another for a number of years.
One evening there is was a community supper in the big activity center.
These two are at the same table, across from one another, he making
a few admiring glances at her and finally gathers up his courage & asks her, "Will you marry me?"
After a dramatic pause and precisely six seconds of careful consideration, she answers. "Yes. Yes, I will."
The meal ends and with a few more pleasant exchanges and they go to their respective Mobile Homes.
Next door to each other. The next morning, he's troubled.
"Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?"
He can't remember. Try as he can, he just can't recall.
Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he Messengers her.
First, he types to her that he doesn't remember as well as he used to,.
It was a lovely evening, "When I asked if you would marry me,
did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
He's delighted to read her answer.
"Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart."
"I am so glad that you messengered me
because I couldn't remember who asked me."
