Well we have had french jokes on this forum and I think its time for some blonde jokes.
i guess ill start with 1

Two blondes were heading down to Disneyland. they came across a sign that said disneylad left. so they turned around and went home.

its not vey good but hopefully others have bettter.
Tim

 

7 DEGREES OF BLONDE

ONE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know; some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

TWO
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says,"You dummy, it's me!"

THREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry.
She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

FOUR
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

FIVE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"

SIX
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.
Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me.So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...."
"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

SEVEN
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"

 

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair? Artificial intelligence.
What is a brunnette between two blondes? Interpretor.

A blonde walks into the doctors office. The doctor asks, what's the problem? She says, no matter where I touch myself, it hurts. The doc looks her over a minute, then syas, I have found the problem! Your finger is broken.

 

Blonde lady is following a truck down the road. They come to a stop sign and she comes running up to the side of the truck saying: "Excuse me my name's Suzy and your losing your load!"
The driver says ok and keeps on going. They come to another stop sign and she runs back up yelling "Excuse me! My name's Suzy and your losing your load!" The driver says ok and keeps on going.
They come to yet another stop sign and she comes running up beside the truck again. "Excuse me!", the driver cuts her off and says... "Excuse me my name's Kevin, I work Penn dot and I'm salting the road".

 

Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
They keep breaking them with the hammers.

What do a minibike and a blond have in common?
They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

 

A blonde in a farm truck is driving along a country road with cornfields on both sides of it when she hears a woman screaming. The blonde pulls over and looks out in the cornfield to see another blonde who is bobbing up and down in the shoulder high corn.

"What are you doing out there?" the driver asks.

"Can't you see that I'm drowning? HELP ME!" the blonde in the cornfield screams, and then she disappears from sight.

"You stupid woman! It's blondes like you that give us all a bad name, doing stupid things like this!" the blonde driver yells back. "I wish I could swim so I could come out there and kick your butt!"

 

After sex, how does a blonde turn on the lights ?
She opens the car door.

 

Know why blondes have bruised bellybuttons?

Blond GUYS are stupid too !

 

How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer?......

There's white out all over the screen.

 

1. A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic, "It died."
After he works on it for a few minutes, it's idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."
She says, "How often do I have to do that?"

2. There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo" she shouts. "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river and then down the river then shouts back, "You are on the other side."

3. A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astonished to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and the siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULLOVER!"
"NO," the blonde yelled back, "it's a SCARF!"

4. A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

5. A blonde was paying Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science and Nature."
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

6. The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet "Yes" for Heads and "No" for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.
During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating.
The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on?
"I finished the exam in half an hour, but I'm rechecking my answers."

NOT BLONDE, but....

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 Billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300C.

The Russians used a pencil.

DW

 

Blonde walks up to the pop machine, puts her 50 cents in, pushes the button, and when the can drops she jumps up and down and claps her hands. Again she puts her 2 quarters in the machine and presses the button. The can drops down and again she claps her hands, squeals in delight and jumps up and down. After she repeats the process twice more, the brunette behind her taps her on the shoulder and asks, " what in the world are you doing?" Blonde replies, "Duh, I'm winning!"

I guess she planned on playing 'til her luck ran out!

 

The jokes are great...But Everyone knows that blondes have more fun!!