We always hear "the rules" from the feminine side. OK - we are now going to hear the rules from the man's side. These are our rules!

Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down.

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil! . Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
months we were going out. Get over it.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, peach is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
mind-reading ability is NOT proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape.

 

haha o man i am showing my wife that

 

LOL! My G/F would crack up at those...

Then again, i'm not disrespectful..but alot of those apply to our relationship!

 

No, we don't like your new short haircut. We like it long.

 

So True!
I especially Like:

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

This one is the funniest.... 1. I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape.

 

1. learn to check your oil! 1. check your oil! 1. check oil!

 

Several of these apply to my B/F. Specifically these two...He's always bringing up previous arguments and says nothings wrong so i leave it at that and then he's mad because i didnt try to get it out of him.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

 

thats fine but we look younger with it short.....you lose.



I've already been through all these on another thread so we'll sufice it to that this time

red

 

I am female (duh, "qhorsemom") I think all these are very true. I have always been one to believe there are no lazy men who "leave the seat up" there are just stupid women who dont check before they sit down. It takes just as much to put it up for the guys as it does for us them to put it down for us. I would like to know when the women became rulers of the bathroom and dont have to have common courtesy for their guys as they want the guys to have for them? Ladies its a two way street. As for oil....I do check my own and do change my own when my husband doesnt feel like it or I want to give him a break. I have also found that it is a great way to spend time with your hunny bunny. The birthdays and anniversaries thing? I always found it odd that a guy can remember every engine that was ever made, what vehicle it was made for and what vehicle and how many time Richard Petty changed lanes in a 1978 race yet they cannot remember their wives birthday. Its because we women think different. I can remember every outfit my husband has worn on each of our dates but that is me. I am not going to dog him for forgetting special days. Why? Because he always remembers where he lives and who is he married to. (I hope that made sense) he always remembers to kiss me goodbye, name me in his prayers, provide a safe loving home for our family...the list goes on. Point i am trying to make he remembers the truly important things. Dates on a calender are unimportant. I wont go on (I know alot of you just went WHEW!") I just wanted to respond a little, okay alot...to this humerous post. I have seen both the mens and the womens and think they both are funny. Okay I'll shut up now...

 

If only all wives were like quarterhorsemom! My wife has me trained on the toilet seat thing. I must confess, though, that she is right on one thing: I should clean up the drips that end up on the floor in front of the toilet (or get one of those little toilet carpets so she dosen't see the drips--ha ha).

 

printed and hung on the wall. Have to wait until later to get a reaction.

 

I agree a guy can/should clean up his drips. But the carpet idea is right on target. Then ya only have to throw the lil' sucker (the rug) in the washer every so often. I see a compromise in the making. Tell her she can pick the carpet/rug/dripcatcher and you will throw it in the washer.( or at least throw it in the laundry room)Just show her some effort and she will be content with your baby steps towards potty ettiquette. Wow I am sounding like the Ann Landers/Miss Manners of FTE! Gee sorry guys...I just couldnt help it

 

No, you'd be way better than Ann Landers/Miss Manners. I'm sure they would put me through the wringer (ahem, figuratively speaking, that is). As for throwing the carpet in the laundry room, that was done several months ago when one of the kids wet all over it and my wife apparently chooses to ignore it. Guess I should toss it into the washer myself (hmmm, how to wash rubber-backed carpet. "Hey Curly, hand me that carpet." "Sointenly, Wooo Wooo Wooo").

 

Okay maybe you better not just toss it out. Just buy 10 of them and jsut toss em when they either discolor or the smell makes you want to start cleaning up the drips. Makes one wonder though.....scientists and inventors created a no drip faucet, water heater, gas tank, milk jug but God in all his infinite wisdom couldnt create men with a dripless....well....you know. Just a thought.

 

I try to observe hen-house rules when in someone else's home, especially if the women outnumber the men... But in my own house, look before you flop, dammit!!