Who Said That?
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Who Said That?
Who Said That?
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If quitters never win and winners never quit, what goober came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do ... write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS.
No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
As I said before, I never repeat myself!
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
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Bird Crazy !
Mrs. Lonefold's dishwasher quit working, so she called a Repairman.
He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment, and, since she had to go to work the next day, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the cheque. By the way, don't worry about my Rottweiler. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do not under any circumstances talk to my parrot!"
When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Lonefold's apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Rottweiler he had ever seen.
But, just like she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business.
However, the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant cursing, yelling, and name-calling.
Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled:
"Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied: "Get him, Brutus!"
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Joined: Feb 2000
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From: Kansas
Who Said That?
Originally posted by mil1ion
Who Said That?
**************
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
Who Said That?
**************
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
It doesn't matter if lightning zig zags. It still travels at the speed of light. The reason why lightning flickers when you see it is because it usually hits between 6 and 24 times during the display you see. It just follows the same path every time. So people who are struck by lightning may in fact have already been hit twice already!
Last edited by Ultramagdan; Feb 16, 2003 at 09:36 PM.
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