Justification!!!
Logistics Pro
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,863
Likes: 4
From: Airdrie Alberta
Reminds me of a post I made on another forum a few years ago. It was amazing how many people thought I was serious:
I recently read a news item that said 40,000 people are injured annually by toilets. Forty thousand people! Forty thousand men, women and children injured every year, the population of a large town. And by what? Toilets! Yes, those seemingly innocent, harmless devices we have come to consider a necessity. Yet how can something be a necessity if it causes such carnage?
The answer is toilets are NOT a necessity. Our ancestors did quite well without toilets. Not only did they not have to contend with toilet related injuries, they also didn’t have to deal with noisy, leaky float valves, backed up sewage, lost jewelry and toys, and horrendous plumbing bills.
This inexcusable carnage must come to a screeching halt! The price in flesh and blood is too great. The solution is really quite simple. We must ban toilets! And the sooner, the better. “But what shall replace them?” you may ask. The answer is quite simple. We shall go back to using what our ancestors used; bushes! Yes, I said bushes. Bushes don’t leak. Bushes don’t get backed up. Bushes don’t gobble up jewelry and toys. Dogs don’t drink from bushes. And forty thousand people a year do not get injured while using a bush to answer nature’s call!
Granted, we do not have enough strategically located bushes to replace all the toilets in use, so a massive planting program would have to be implemented immediately. But there are many advantages to doing so. Bushes are attractive. They would beautify the concrete jungles we have come to call home. They would prevent soil erosion and reduce rain runoff, thus avoiding flooded streets. By using bushes instead of those insidious toilets, water usage by our cities would be dramatically reduced. Reduced sewage amounts would reduce or eliminate water pollution and associated health hazards. The bushes would require little or no watering or fertilization since we would be providing them. And yet another benefit of planting bushes would be to replace the vanishing rain forests of the world, thus reducing air pollution and reducing, if not eliminating, the danger of a run-away greenhouse effect by consuming excessive carbon dioxide from our atmosphere.
Time is short, though. The longer we wait, the more people—people like you and me—are going to be injured. So break out those spades and start planting bushes, now! Then we can rip out all of those dangerous toilets and make our world a healthier and safer place for us and our descendants to live in. By the way, should anyone have difficulty obtaining a sufficient number of bushes to plant, I have a large inventory available at reasonable prices, plus shipping and handling of course.
There was also a chain email out a few years ago that promoted a fertilizer club. The email had a list of people and their addresses. you were supposed to add your name and address and send the email on. Whenever everyone needed to take a dump, they would go to the nearest person on the list and dump in their yard. Eventually, everyone would have a multitude of people dumping in their yards. The scheme allegedly failed because people who got on the list early on were overwhelmed by the "contributions" while late comers got shorted.
I recently read a news item that said 40,000 people are injured annually by toilets. Forty thousand people! Forty thousand men, women and children injured every year, the population of a large town. And by what? Toilets! Yes, those seemingly innocent, harmless devices we have come to consider a necessity. Yet how can something be a necessity if it causes such carnage?
The answer is toilets are NOT a necessity. Our ancestors did quite well without toilets. Not only did they not have to contend with toilet related injuries, they also didn’t have to deal with noisy, leaky float valves, backed up sewage, lost jewelry and toys, and horrendous plumbing bills.
This inexcusable carnage must come to a screeching halt! The price in flesh and blood is too great. The solution is really quite simple. We must ban toilets! And the sooner, the better. “But what shall replace them?” you may ask. The answer is quite simple. We shall go back to using what our ancestors used; bushes! Yes, I said bushes. Bushes don’t leak. Bushes don’t get backed up. Bushes don’t gobble up jewelry and toys. Dogs don’t drink from bushes. And forty thousand people a year do not get injured while using a bush to answer nature’s call!
Granted, we do not have enough strategically located bushes to replace all the toilets in use, so a massive planting program would have to be implemented immediately. But there are many advantages to doing so. Bushes are attractive. They would beautify the concrete jungles we have come to call home. They would prevent soil erosion and reduce rain runoff, thus avoiding flooded streets. By using bushes instead of those insidious toilets, water usage by our cities would be dramatically reduced. Reduced sewage amounts would reduce or eliminate water pollution and associated health hazards. The bushes would require little or no watering or fertilization since we would be providing them. And yet another benefit of planting bushes would be to replace the vanishing rain forests of the world, thus reducing air pollution and reducing, if not eliminating, the danger of a run-away greenhouse effect by consuming excessive carbon dioxide from our atmosphere.
Time is short, though. The longer we wait, the more people—people like you and me—are going to be injured. So break out those spades and start planting bushes, now! Then we can rip out all of those dangerous toilets and make our world a healthier and safer place for us and our descendants to live in. By the way, should anyone have difficulty obtaining a sufficient number of bushes to plant, I have a large inventory available at reasonable prices, plus shipping and handling of course.
There was also a chain email out a few years ago that promoted a fertilizer club. The email had a list of people and their addresses. you were supposed to add your name and address and send the email on. Whenever everyone needed to take a dump, they would go to the nearest person on the list and dump in their yard. Eventually, everyone would have a multitude of people dumping in their yards. The scheme allegedly failed because people who got on the list early on were overwhelmed by the "contributions" while late comers got shorted.
I couldn't read all of this but I do have an argument, without modern toilets and sewer systems we would live in filthy smelly towns and cities. I visited Florence Italy and it smelled like sewer in all the side streets.
Mountain Pass
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 241
Likes: 1
From: AZ, SSA
It's a joke!
Super Moderator
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 40,024
Likes: 1,519
From: Maine, Virginia
In the military food service business, we call it night soil. We were strictly prohibited form buying products grown in human waste. People are just fricken nasty creatures and one never knows what kind of bacteria we carry.
Super Moderator
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 40,024
Likes: 1,519
From: Maine, Virginia
A little poop ain't gonna hurt ya! LOL
Post Fiend
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 23,620
Likes: 2
From: Coeur d alene, Id
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