Our Govt. in action
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Postmaster
Joined: Jun 2007
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From: Rogue River, OR
Our Govt. in action
A rancher named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the rancher, "If I can tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a smart-*** yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in ultra-high-resolution and takes a photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany .
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Blackberry telling him that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet and, after a few seconds, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laser Jet printer, turns to the rancher and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's exactly right! Well, I guess this means you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what you do for a living, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman with the U.S. Government.", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct", says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"Didn't have to guess. It's simple", answered the rancher. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already know, to a question I never asked; you used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog".
Bud looks at the man, obviously a smart-*** yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in ultra-high-resolution and takes a photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany .
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Blackberry telling him that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet and, after a few seconds, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laser Jet printer, turns to the rancher and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's exactly right! Well, I guess this means you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what you do for a living, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman with the U.S. Government.", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct", says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"Didn't have to guess. It's simple", answered the rancher. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already know, to a question I never asked; you used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog".
Postmaster
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 4,195
Likes: 6
From: Medford Oregon
"Didn't have to guess. It's simple", answered the rancher. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already know, to a question I never asked; you used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog".
Posting Guru
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,601
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From: Cato Arkansas
ok guys this is a true story to see how stupid our govt. is when it comes to spending money anyways i am a electrician and i am currently working on little rock air force base well for what ever reason some high brass air force general flew into the base on wednesday, so the govt. has hired a crew to drive around with pressure washers and steam washers to clean EVERY concrete curb and side walk wtf????? why do we need to WASTE tax payers money on cleaning concrete
PREMIUM SPONSOR
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,630
Likes: 217
From: North East Ohio
Waste? Maybe.
But maybe those guys doing the work needed the work, and can now pay some bills themselves?
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Post Fiend
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 8,773
Likes: 1
From: Texas Coast
Our Gov
For the small buisness owners.
A man owned a small farm in Virginia. The Virginia State Wage & Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. ‘I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,’ demanded the agent.
‘Well,’ replied the farmer, ‘there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.
‘That's the guy I want to talk to -— YES! YES! the half-wit,’ says the agent.
‘That would be me,’ replied the farmer.
A man owned a small farm in Virginia. The Virginia State Wage & Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. ‘I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,’ demanded the agent.
‘Well,’ replied the farmer, ‘there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.
‘That's the guy I want to talk to -— YES! YES! the half-wit,’ says the agent.
‘That would be me,’ replied the farmer.
Last edited by DRRXR; May 8, 2009 at 08:52 AM. Reason: fonts bad
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Postmaster
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From: Rogue River, OR
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