Jack - the Newfie
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 97,551
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From: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Jack - the Newfie
Each Friday night after work, sun, snow or rain, Jack , being a Newfie,
would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a moose steak.
But, all of Jack's neighbors were Catholic. And since it was Lent,
they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled moose steaks was causing
such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked
to their priest. The priest came to visit Jack, and suggested that
he become a Catholic.
After several classes and much study, Jack attended Mass,
and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said:
"You were born a Protestant and raised a Protestant,
but now you are a Catholic."
Jack's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived,
and the wonderful aroma of grilled moose filled the neighborhood.
The priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed
into Jack's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him,
he stopped and watched in amazement.
There stood Jack, clutching a small bottle of holy water
which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted:
"You wuz born a moose, you wuz raised a moose, but now you is a Codfish........
would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a moose steak.
But, all of Jack's neighbors were Catholic. And since it was Lent,
they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled moose steaks was causing
such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked
to their priest. The priest came to visit Jack, and suggested that
he become a Catholic.
After several classes and much study, Jack attended Mass,
and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said:
"You were born a Protestant and raised a Protestant,
but now you are a Catholic."
Jack's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived,
and the wonderful aroma of grilled moose filled the neighborhood.
The priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed
into Jack's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him,
he stopped and watched in amazement.
There stood Jack, clutching a small bottle of holy water
which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted:
"You wuz born a moose, you wuz raised a moose, but now you is a Codfish........
Post Fiend
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 20,099
Likes: 7
From: Yorkton Sask
lol...heard that one before... how about this one??
a saskatchewanian, albertan and Newfie had died and all stood before St Peter at the gates. Peter told them the only way they could enter heaven was to ask a question that he couldn't correctly answer.
the sask man goes first, asking St peter to name every possible type of grain and its attributes. piece of cake for Peter. the sask man is denied entry to heaven
albertan man asks Peter to tell him how crude oil is formed, extracetd and refined to gasoline... again, a piece of cake for Peter and the man is denied entry to heaven.
the newfie thinks for a minute and asks for a chair and a drill. he drills 7 holes in the seat of the chair, sits down and lets out the harshest fart he can muster. "OK Pete", he says, "Which hole did i fart through??" St Peter looks at the chair and points to the 3rd hole... "That one", he replies, quite confident. "Wrong", says the newfie, "i Fart through me ARSEHOLE"!!!! he proceded through the pearly gates into a saved eternity...
a saskatchewanian, albertan and Newfie had died and all stood before St Peter at the gates. Peter told them the only way they could enter heaven was to ask a question that he couldn't correctly answer.
the sask man goes first, asking St peter to name every possible type of grain and its attributes. piece of cake for Peter. the sask man is denied entry to heaven
albertan man asks Peter to tell him how crude oil is formed, extracetd and refined to gasoline... again, a piece of cake for Peter and the man is denied entry to heaven.
the newfie thinks for a minute and asks for a chair and a drill. he drills 7 holes in the seat of the chair, sits down and lets out the harshest fart he can muster. "OK Pete", he says, "Which hole did i fart through??" St Peter looks at the chair and points to the 3rd hole... "That one", he replies, quite confident. "Wrong", says the newfie, "i Fart through me ARSEHOLE"!!!! he proceded through the pearly gates into a saved eternity...
