I have been cut back at work, and everytime I talk to the boss he cuts me back even more. I have worked two jobs for longer than i can remember, I took six weeks off one job for a college algebra minimester. I talked to the boss of the job I was still at and told him I want to go back to my other job sense I was through with the algebra. I told him the day my other boss wanted me and he agreed that would be perfectly OK. Now he has cut me from two 12 hour days to 2 6 hour days. with no explenation. I can't servive on what he is giving me.
people I talk to say that it was in my parents divorce paper that my dad would pay child support unil I was done with college. The child support quit when I was 18 due to my mother using it for "other" things. I have payed my own way ever sense I was about 14 and I mowed cemitaries. My dad has a new wife and kids now. i'm going to be in financial trouble soon.
Pride has made it impossible to ask him for help, i'm kind of "brushed under the rug" anyway ever sense I was born, they did not think I would live due to serious medical problems that persist to this day.
I have above a 3.1 GPA and have worked 100% of that time.
The doctor says I will need a hip replacement soon, maybe in the next couple of years and that will put me out of both jobs for some time.
This year in June or July I need to have my shunt replaced and that will set me back atleast a week, and financially I can't take that, for now I'll just deal with the pain of having a worn out hip.
Everyone wants help from me and when I let the pride go with tears and ask for help nobody is in sight.
I have looked for other jobs but I have yet to find one.
I just feel like giving up, and shutting down.
How can I get a hold of the divorce papers if I don't talk to my mother and don't want to let my dad "in" just yet without knowing it it is true about getting support through college?
My bio class is kicking my butt to,it is going to drop my GPA and I have killed myself studying for tests and such,-a great self esteem booster in wonderful times.
Everything it just coming down at one time, and I can't sort through it fast enough


Dustin

 

well i wouldnt worry about mom and dads divorce paper thats their deal not yours, and if your mom did use the money for "other" reasons mabe you could ask her where she spent your money and screwing up your future. if your health is in that bad of shape theres alway disability you can file for

 

I don't talk to my mother because of what I went through.All of my family says I should foregive her and start talking to her again, yet they have no idea what I went through. Oh wait shes changed now!Yea right. In Texas you have to work something like less than 15 hours per week and make less than $550. I make more then that and work more than that, or be totally inoperable. That is what the lawyer told me. If there IS 1 job out there I can do, I don't qualify by the state to get disability. Therefore I can't collect.
I was going to see if the divorce paper entitled me to money from my dad therefore

 

Dustin, A lot of dads fail on their promise of child support, but that's not the issue here.

Also, if you have/need to, make sure the divorce papers state that your dad
is obligated to pay child support until you're done with college.

If he does, then you may have to swallow your pride and talk to your dad for help.

Like wizzard351 posted, you could ask your mom where the money went.
However, that won't solve your problem either, but may aggravate it more.

As for your hip replacement, does your area have a facility that serves uninsured people?

We have an organization here, called Operation Access.
Check it out and see if you have something similar in your area.

www.operationaccess.org

Good luck

 

Dustin,

I too was a pawn in my parents divorce, and have been on my own since I was 14.
Turned 45 today and I've seen my share of problems in the years in between.
I don't want to know what MY mother did w/ the $.
In my state you can petition the state for the settlement if you're mentioned in it.
Does your boss know your situation? Do you have any idea why he would do this to you?
I wish I had more advice for you but I can say don't be too 'proud' to ask for help. Maybe not from your father, but from those whom you've helped in the past.
Times are hard for most of us right now but true friends are always there for you.
Most of all, no matter what, know that you are never alone.

What's your dogs name?

 

I have good medical insurance. I just can't pay my car insurance rent utilities and my phone if i'm out for a week, I can't pay them now being cut back. I think that if it states that he is suppose to pay it will majorly disrupt the strained relationship we have now, if it does NOT state that in the papers and I ask it will be "almost" as bad because my stepmom wants him to only focus on "their" kids not me, which she fight with him any time i'm over there about spending time with me, and taking time away from her kids, I feel like a major burden on my dad because they fight constently when i'm there when me and my dad try to do thomething together

 

Keep your chin up and don't let the situation get the best of you. Not speaking to your parents isn't the best move long term, but that's your decision to make. If your mother is a changed person according to your sources, you could inform those sources it sure would be nice to have some financial aid for school and see if you get any response.

As for the child support issue. You could contact the local child support division of the Texas Attorney General's office. They should have records that indicate if you're due money. This is no guarantee you will actually see the money, and I'd recommend asking if the money can be sent to you directly. No point in getting your dad to pay child support if it only goes to your mom for her to spend on other things.

Are your two job similar in nature? It sounds as if you may be better off finding one job that can provide you the hours / wages needed so you can avoid this work conflict your having.

 

Talk to your dad and tell him whats going on, he is still your dad. Talk to your boss, and tell him the situation, he should understand, and should help you out. Everyone has fell apon hard times, I dont care what anyone says, and most pull out of it just fine. You know you have friends here on FTE to talk to we all have our bad days.

 

I'd talk to your dad,

get him alone, away from the step mom, Let him know whats going on, maybe he could give ya some child support and pay it directly to you
if not,

maybe he could loan you the money, (then find out if its owed to you) if it is, be very very slow in repaying.

Maybe get rid of one of the jobs for a better one?

I'd recheck with the state, and possibly the fed gov. Now that youre on your own, you may qualify

 

Sounds like Cruella de Vil isn't going to let your dad, be your dad.

I understand that you have a strained relationship with your dad, but maybe
you could talk to your dad, in a private meeting, or something, and explain your dilemma?

As for your health insurance, you're fortunate to have that.

Don't know what to say about the rest of your bills.

Can you get a roommate, if you don't have one already?

 

I hate to say this, but....
Your dad needs to grow some *****.

For him to let his wife demand that any of HIS children are more important than any of HIS other children is wrong. Your stepmom is just being insecure or jealous.

Obviously he cares more about you than mine did because you two "try to do something together"
He did pay but it never got to you, why do you think he would have a problem living up to his responsibility's and helping to support you now?

I would sell my right hand if that's what it meant to have to help my children.

 

My mother is living in a trailer house with no money, and a dead end boyfriend.My boss does not care about anyone's situation, but his own and the payroll in my case he cuts me back and give the hours to the new hires, and smiles about it. He is a real upstanding person, he rips off people and cuts beaks to others and calls this "business".
I would like to find another job but no luck. I have been looking I think I just don't give off an impession of hard work and dedication. my "other" boss says i'm the best emplyee shes ever had, it is just that the job is 50 miles away, I would like to make that my only job but can't due to time management. It is a WAY more friendly work environment.

 

Never give up Dustin! Your boss is a buttmunch. Quit and trust that you WILL find a new and better job. Call your Dad and ask him to meet you somewhere where Broomhilda won't be around. Over lunch or a cup of joe. Let him know what's going on. Mayhaps he doesn't realize it. And if he does, and doesn't give a hoot, well, you're no worse off then when you started. It may take legal action, but you would hope not.

Are you getting financial aid for your schoolin? If not, apply for it! Mines is covered by the VA 100% and I am forever grateful. Tuition is craaaazy even at the Community College I go to and we won't even talk about books.

Go find your local State Vocational Rehabilitation Office in town. See if they can help with your school costs due to your medical issues. I went to ours under the advice of another disabled vet who got fuel assistance from them. I travel 150 miles back and forth to school. Couldn't do it without them. Oh, and yessir, talkin about suckin in pride...I went from a "somebody" in the Air Force to a nobody beggin for help. That was tough for me to do. Still hurts at times too bro, but I had to do it. And most everone here will agree, some of the best counselling comes straight from the pages of FTE.

Rich

 

adding some, echoing others....

you getting financial aid? you should get as much as you possibly can in the form of grants and loans.

if you don't want help then screw it, if no one can figure it out or offered it, that means they probably don't care.

many people get in the dumps, i myself was that way and sort of that way now, but the hell with it. i don't really care, i do what i need to do and put my concentration to one thing, college, everything else is secondary (professionally speaking).

not trying to get to personal but my dad dumped me in favor of his new family also. not once but twice. first time at age 18 my mom and i were about homeless when he took off and when i got out of the Navy, (we been talking and i thought we were cool for years), he dumped me again right in the middle of my cancer treatment, a new harley and car for his step daughter was more important than financial help for me while i was unemployed getting cancer treatment.

thats ok, revenge was sort of sweet when i reported him to his work for prescription drug use, he got fired.

money situations really suck, especially when you have the motivation to work and get more but no opportuntiy.

all i can offer is heed others advice and hang in there and ensure you do good in college because that is your ticket.

oh yes, bio kicks about everyone's rear, i got a lab midterm tomorrow for bio2.

 

Do as much work as you can for now even if it is not meeting your needs. I would not give up even the (2) 6 hour shifts.

In the FWIW category, never discuss one job situation with another boss. Keep everything, including your problems, to yourself. Some mini-tyrants like to inflict troubles on others to make themselves feel good instead of bending over backwards to help you while you are down.

> I just feel like giving up, and shutting down.

Just delays finding the solution. You do not appear the type to lay in the gutter for the rest of your life. So avoid getting there in the 1st place.

> The doctor says I will need a hip replacement soon, maybe in the next couple of years

You did not mention what you are studing in college towards what degree.

But, I suggest setting yourself up for a job you can do from a laptop that is more then an hourly manual work type job (nothing wrong with them). But, if you have serious health problems you should start seeking a steady high hourly rate job that will have good insurance.

Develop computer skills that are needed. Learn how to develop websites. HTML is not that tough to learn, though it will be a needed step to learn a high level language such as JAVA (I would skip C++ until you master other things) for web development. Big demand for people that know UNIX too.

Ask for free JAVA books on your local CL and spend 1 hr per day learning them. Just start with one book (SAMS has 24 hour books that are decent). After 100 days you should have learned enough to write a simple app. for any employer.

A lot of the WEB programming stuff is free on the Internet, might as well use it. This is a great website http://www.w3.org/

If you can't find anyone on freecycle or craigslist to give you free books, which might end up being a local network opportunity, I could send you the ones I have once I am done with them (decided to add JAVA to my skills list).

> My dad has a new wife and kids now. i'm going to be in financial trouble soon.

I have to assume you have your own apartment and do not have a garage and are not living with any relatives? So, a sideline such as lawn mower repair is out of the question.

> Everyone wants help from me and when I let the pride go with tears and ask for help nobody is in sight.

Nothing new under the sun.

Proverbs 19:7
7 A poor man is shunned by all his relatives—
how much more do his friends avoid him!
Though he pursues them with pleading,
they are nowhere to be found


Personally, I would not be too proud to ask my father for help, either my earthly father or heavenly father.

imho, No human on this earth cares more about you then you.

That being said, personally, this would be about the point where I would say "blank them all" and dig deep and start to fight to succeed on my own and put them all out of my mind.

Forget the divorce money, forget additional support, forget them all, and start fighting. Go to bed thinking about what you are doing tomorrow to make more money.

But, once you are more stable and not hand to mouth, always take a Sat. or Sunday off every week and contemplate spirtual things (what ever religion or faith or none at all) and to relax.