I dare say this person had boys...

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:

Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4
inches deep.

2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread
paint
on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using
a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before
you
get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a
ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too
late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year
old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they
do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not
like
ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

 

Welcome to my world. We have one girl and 4 boys age 25-4. Been there done that and doomed to repeat it. :-X23

 

>Welcome to my world. We have one girl and 4 boys age 25-4.
>Been there done that and doomed to repeat it. :-X23

Benz,
You got 4 boys? You have my sympathy. 1 is enough for me!

A plastic sword, a woman with TIGHT jeans, and a county fair should not be used in the same sentence. But I've had to.

Don't get me started.....
:-X23

Chuck

 

>For those who already have children past this age, this is
>hilarious.

Yes it is!
>
> 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000
>sq. ft. house 4
> inches deep.

I found that out the the hard way.

> 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of
>it.

Homemade smoke bombs i used to do that when i was a kid.

Thank God i have two girls(12,14),although they can be just as bad as boys(i can relate to #1)





Wiz

[link:www.clubfte.com/users/thewiz427/index.html|"Wiz's Place"]

 

Kid's definantly have their moments. I don't have any but Dad tells a story (I think it's really a joke but he swears it's true) about a guy pulling a trailer with a tractor on it becuz the tractor is broke. The tractor was too tall to go under an overpass or something and the guy stops and is trying to figure out what to do. There's a little boy standing by watching. (I get the mental image of a gum chewing yoyo kid like in the movie "Francis in the Navy") The boy comments, let the air out of the tires. The guy is just like you don't know what you're talking about go on. He still insists no really let the air out of the tires and it'll go under. The guy still tells the kid you can't pull flat tires, it ruins the tires etc. The kid sits there to watch and a cop pulls up to ask this guy what he's doing sitting there. The guy explains that the tractor is too big to go under on the trailer so he thinks he's going to have to unload it or cut the top off or something but he doesn't know what to do. The cops looking and the kid says again, let the air out of the tires. The cop tells the kid the same thing, you can't let the air out of the trailer tires. The kid just looks up and said, let the air out of the tractor tires.

Thanx!
Connie (only Ford luvr in the family!)

'79 f100 "Silver Ghost" (my baby)
'83 f100 "The Ford" (my first)
'85 f150 "Old Blue" (my next project)

 

Wiz

[link:www.clubfte.com/users/thewiz427/index.html|"Wiz's Place"]

 

[updated:LAST EDITED ON 25-Nov-02 AT 06:37 PM (EST)] Alot of this sounds way too familiar.

 

Do ALL teenagers go brain dead?

 

>>Welcome to my world. We have one girl and 4 boys age 25-4.
>>Been there done that and doomed to repeat it. :-X23
>
>Benz,
>You got 4 boys? You have my sympathy. 1 is enough for me!
>
>A plastic sword, a woman with TIGHT jeans, and a county fair
>should not be used in the same sentence. But I've had to.
>
>Don't get me started.....
>:-X23
>
>Chuck

And one grandson.

I am too young to be this old!!!


dj