My fav of late and one that seems SO TRUE is: "You're dumber than a log, but twice as bright as our president" (Dubya ) Gotta love it.

 

On incompentency: "he could screw up a train wreck."
A famous quote about R. Reagan while in office: "England may have a Queen who is just a figurehead, we have a President who is a hood ornament."

 

2 of my personal favorites..

Sharp as a marble

Bright as a ten watt light bulb

Of course I usually am referring to myself after doing something monumentally stupid........

 

She's so ugly, she could make a train take a dirt road

Awkward as a 3 legged duck

Bright as a burnt out light bulb

She's so buck toothed, she could eat an apple through a picked fence

Like poop through a goose

Give him an anvil and a rubber hammer and he'd have them both tore up in a week

He could foul up a steel ball with a rubber hammer

When you come to a fork in the road take it

 

"Nothing short of right.......is right!"

"Do it....
Do it right....
Do it right now...."

"Knock softly, but firmly....I like soft, firm knockers!"

R

 

......DUDE.......

 

"its Good To Be King"

 

My warehouse forman: you could not have driven a toothpick
up my a$$ with a sledgehammer!
Feel more like I do now than I did a while ago!
Feel better all over more than anywhere else!

 

1. "Trying to hang in there like a hair in a biscuit."

2. "How about that?"

3. "She's only my cousin by marriage!"

 

My dad taught me for when you don't have the right tool or something:

If you don't have a dog, teach the cat how to hunt.

And it is amazing how often a chisel and hammer can be a hunting cat.

 

When in doubt...don't scream and shout...just use a bigger hammer.

Useless as titz on a mule.

She's a pirate's dream...complete with a sunken chest.

Women are like elephants to me...I like to look at 'em, But I don't wanna own one. - W.C. Fields

 

"I like anything that has titz or tires"
"I have a sweet tooth for this *****"

 

Ok, here's a couple more........

"got dandruff and some-of-it-itches" (as opposed to GD and son-of-a b****es)

"Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things"

And one of my favorites....

Pish Posh!! (this is what my dad says when things aren't going right....Dad's not big on cussing...lol)

Bobby

 

when in doubt mumble.

 

When having a difficult time fixing something: "Get a bigger hammer!"

My carpenter friend always ended a job with: "Good enough for who it's for." I use that sometimes when helping on a friends car or truck project.