Todays Funny!
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Post Fiend
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,964
Likes: 1
From: Woodruff, SC
Todays Funny!
IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...
If my body were a car, this is the time
I would be thinking about trading it in
for a newer model. I've got bumps and
dents and scratches in my finish and my
paint job is getting a little dull ...
But that's not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus and it's
especially hard to see things up close
My traction is not as graceful as it
once was. I slip and slide and skid and
bump into things even in the best of
weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose
veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum
speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it --
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or
sputter. ...either my radiator leaks or
my exhaust backfires!
If my body were a car, this is the time
I would be thinking about trading it in
for a newer model. I've got bumps and
dents and scratches in my finish and my
paint job is getting a little dull ...
But that's not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus and it's
especially hard to see things up close
My traction is not as graceful as it
once was. I slip and slide and skid and
bump into things even in the best of
weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose
veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum
speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it --
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or
sputter. ...either my radiator leaks or
my exhaust backfires!
Thread Starter
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Post Fiend
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,964
Likes: 1
From: Woodruff, SC
Originally Posted by 00BlueOvalRanger
For me, I'd have to add that I don't have all of my original parts.
(Too many recalls and accidents.)
(Too many recalls and accidents.)
I thought about adding something like "has missing or broken parts".
Last edited by TheWiz427; Dec 19, 2007 at 02:58 PM.
Fleet Mechanic
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,988
Likes: 14
From: Travelers Rest SC
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Post Fiend
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 7,269
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From: Where's my map???
Originally Posted by FLgargoyle
As long as the old 'driveshaft' is holding up....
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From: Drummonds, TN USA
The heater works just fine - especially at shopping malls. One look at another nice (female) body and it does even better.
The A/C is just plain broke. It takes a long time to cool off - especially when doing the monthly bills.
NOTHING LEAKS IN PUBLIC. This is a goodness...
The tires slip once in a while, but the brakes need work. I love hard accelleration.
Steering is a bit sloppy... Walmart, or the dollar store, one of them - OH WELL!
Upholstery is holding up but gradually lightening in color.
- And the tailpipe smokes on cold mornings - I attribute that to Habernero peppers.
(He states, drily)
The A/C is just plain broke. It takes a long time to cool off - especially when doing the monthly bills.
NOTHING LEAKS IN PUBLIC. This is a goodness...
The tires slip once in a while, but the brakes need work. I love hard accelleration.
Steering is a bit sloppy... Walmart, or the dollar store, one of them - OH WELL!
Upholstery is holding up but gradually lightening in color.
- And the tailpipe smokes on cold mornings - I attribute that to Habernero peppers.
(He states, drily)
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