hospital
Thread Starter
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Fleet Owner
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 28,609
Likes: 18
From: Lake Tahoe, Nevada
hospital
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Anyone who has spent time in the hospital will enjoy this.
A woman called a local hospital -- "Hello. Could you connect me to the
person who gives information about patients? I'd like to find out if a
patient is getting better, doing as expected or getting worse."
The voice on the other end said "What is the patient's name and room
number?"
"Sarah Finkel, Room 302." "I'll connect you to the nursing station".
"Third floor nursing station. How can I help you?"
"I'd like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in Room 302."
"Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Mrs. Finkel is very well. In
fact she had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine. She is to be
taken
off the heart monitor in a couple of hours, and if she continues this
improvement, Dr Cohen is going to send her home on Tuesday."
The woman said "What a relief. Oh, that's fantastic. That's wonderful
news."
The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it, you are a close family
member, or are you a very close friend?"
"Neither. I'm Sarah Finkel in Room 302. Nobody tells me s**t"........
</td></tr></tbody></table>
Anyone who has spent time in the hospital will enjoy this.
A woman called a local hospital -- "Hello. Could you connect me to the
person who gives information about patients? I'd like to find out if a
patient is getting better, doing as expected or getting worse."
The voice on the other end said "What is the patient's name and room
number?"
"Sarah Finkel, Room 302." "I'll connect you to the nursing station".
"Third floor nursing station. How can I help you?"
"I'd like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in Room 302."
"Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Mrs. Finkel is very well. In
fact she had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine. She is to be
taken
off the heart monitor in a couple of hours, and if she continues this
improvement, Dr Cohen is going to send her home on Tuesday."
The woman said "What a relief. Oh, that's fantastic. That's wonderful
news."
The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it, you are a close family
member, or are you a very close friend?"
"Neither. I'm Sarah Finkel in Room 302. Nobody tells me s**t"........
</td></tr></tbody></table>
Hotshot
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 13,589
Likes: 2
From: NW burbs of chicago
true story:
last week I sprained my foot (thought i broke it) hurt like hell. wife convinces me to go to hospital.
now my right foot is literally 2x the size of my left , it looks like it was inflated with air.
the nurse has me get on the xray table and then started taking pics of my left foot!!!!!!!
I'm like WTF?
She's says " they ordered xrays for your left foot"
I say " look at my feet" my right foot needs the xrays"
I then asked if they had orders to amputate anything, She laughed and said they double check that stuff........
last week I sprained my foot (thought i broke it) hurt like hell. wife convinces me to go to hospital.
now my right foot is literally 2x the size of my left , it looks like it was inflated with air.
the nurse has me get on the xray table and then started taking pics of my left foot!!!!!!!
I'm like WTF?
She's says " they ordered xrays for your left foot"
I say " look at my feet" my right foot needs the xrays"
I then asked if they had orders to amputate anything, She laughed and said they double check that stuff........
New User
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 0
Likes: 24
Last time I went to the hospital for myself was to get treatment on my left hip.
The orderly said: "well we're headed for diagnostic imaging".
I asked if there will be a pony to sit on while they take my picture.
The orderly tried to push me and the wheelchair into a wall at high speed for that one
The orderly said: "well we're headed for diagnostic imaging".
I asked if there will be a pony to sit on while they take my picture.
The orderly tried to push me and the wheelchair into a wall at high speed for that one
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Logistics Pro
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 4,562
Likes: 2
From: Southern MD
Several years ago, I had to have a osteoid osteoma (bone tumor) removed from my left knee, and part of the medial meniscus (cartilage) removed.
The surgery went well. (Picture a cast on my left leg, from my groin to my left ankle!)
In the early morning hours after my surgery, a nurse came into the room to take my blood pressure, etc.
I asked why she was waking me up at 3:45 a.m., when I had the same thing done, 15 minutes before.
She said, "We are going to 'prep' you for surgery."
"Wrong! I've already had my surgery."
"Sir. You are scheduled for surgery in one hour. We need to 'prep' you."
"Lady. . . I've already had my surgery. (I pull down the sheet and show her my cast, on my left leg.) See! I've had my surgery!"
"Sir, the schedule says that you are scheduled for gall bladder surgery, today."
"Lady. . . If you TOUCH me, I'll yell soooooooo loud the hospital administrators will hear me, 4 floors away. Now get the h _ _ _ out of here. NOW!"
The nurse left and came back in 10 minutes with 3 BIG guys, to prep me!
I started yelling soooo loud. . . . "IF you touch me, I'll sue every one of you!"
They understood that.
Seems there was a 'mix-up' with the last names on the charts.
Yeah, right. Their 'mix-up' almost cost me a gall bladder!
I don't like hospitals.
The surgery went well. (Picture a cast on my left leg, from my groin to my left ankle!)
In the early morning hours after my surgery, a nurse came into the room to take my blood pressure, etc.
I asked why she was waking me up at 3:45 a.m., when I had the same thing done, 15 minutes before.
She said, "We are going to 'prep' you for surgery."
"Wrong! I've already had my surgery."
"Sir. You are scheduled for surgery in one hour. We need to 'prep' you."
"Lady. . . I've already had my surgery. (I pull down the sheet and show her my cast, on my left leg.) See! I've had my surgery!"
"Sir, the schedule says that you are scheduled for gall bladder surgery, today."
"Lady. . . If you TOUCH me, I'll yell soooooooo loud the hospital administrators will hear me, 4 floors away. Now get the h _ _ _ out of here. NOW!"
The nurse left and came back in 10 minutes with 3 BIG guys, to prep me!
I started yelling soooo loud. . . . "IF you touch me, I'll sue every one of you!"
They understood that.
Seems there was a 'mix-up' with the last names on the charts.
Yeah, right. Their 'mix-up' almost cost me a gall bladder!
I don't like hospitals.
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Postmaster
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,155
Likes: 0
From: Southern Louisiana
Good one 00BlueOvalRanger. My step dad had open heart surgery late last year. He was in the hospital close to a week afterward. About 3 days before he was due to come home, 2 orderlies walk into his room and start unhooking his machines. When he asked what they were doing, they informed him that he was dead and they were taking him "downstairs". After a breif argument in which common sense kicked in and they decided that being he was talking to them that there was a chance that he might not be dead.
More Turbo
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 584
Likes: 6
A few years ago I sliced my foot open on a sharp corner. We (my wife and I) didn't think it was too bad, but after about 30 minutes we decided we better go to the ER to have it looked at. Get checked in at the ER and sat there for 2 1/2 to 3 hours before the nurse came to get us. (Don't get me started on the people who came in that were way worse than I was that had to wait). We get into the room, and the nurse decides I need stitches. She asks me how long ago it happened, and I told her about 3 to 3 1/2 hours. She then proceeded to lecture me about how long it took me to get in there to get stitches, and then if I wasted any more time than what I already had, she wouldnt be able to stitch it up. When I told her I spent almost 3 hours in the waiting room, she told me it didnt matter and I should have gotten to the hospital sooner. Needless to say I dont go to that ER anymore.
Thread Starter
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Fleet Owner
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 28,609
Likes: 18
From: Lake Tahoe, Nevada
Originally Posted by nut1605
When I told her I spent almost 3 hours in the waiting room, she told me it didnt matter and I should have gotten to the hospital sooner.
decadent and depraved
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,703
Likes: 6
From: Right Behind You
Tim's Tip of the Day.
If you ever have to go to the ER, as soon as you walk in, fall to the floor and start screaming "I'm having a heart attack!" They'll rush you into a room, and right before they put the shocker things (can't remember what they call them) on you, sit up and say "Oh, that went away, but could you look at my finger(or whatever's ailing you). Because once you're in, they can't kick you out.
Tim
If you ever have to go to the ER, as soon as you walk in, fall to the floor and start screaming "I'm having a heart attack!" They'll rush you into a room, and right before they put the shocker things (can't remember what they call them) on you, sit up and say "Oh, that went away, but could you look at my finger(or whatever's ailing you). Because once you're in, they can't kick you out.
Tim
Thread Starter
|
Fleet Owner
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 28,609
Likes: 18
From: Lake Tahoe, Nevada
Originally Posted by thorseshoeing
Tim's Tip of the Day.
If you ever have to go to the ER, as soon as you walk in, fall to the floor and start screaming "I'm having a heart attack!" They'll rush you into a room, and right before they put the shocker things (can't remember what they call them) on you, sit up and say "Oh, that went away, but could you look at my finger(or whatever's ailing you). Because once you're in, they can't kick you out.
Tim
If you ever have to go to the ER, as soon as you walk in, fall to the floor and start screaming "I'm having a heart attack!" They'll rush you into a room, and right before they put the shocker things (can't remember what they call them) on you, sit up and say "Oh, that went away, but could you look at my finger(or whatever's ailing you). Because once you're in, they can't kick you out.
Tim
