YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
by George Carlin

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid
level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart
American.

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and
does not entitle you to anything.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in
English.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment
than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill
to put your pansy *** through 4 years plus of college, you haven't begun
to be enlightened.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where
they want to.

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled
Jerry Springer.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now,
when I'm freezing my *** off during these long winters and paying, paying,
paying?

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years
In the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any
witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So,
shut-the-Hell-up already.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse
Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the
problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry *** if you're
running from them.
I also think they have the right to pull your butt over if
you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I
think it's good.....and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want
you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world
for the next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me
crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be targets.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two
parents.

And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

 

Interesting.

While I agree with quite a few parts of it, I will have to say that it sounds extremely closed-minded...a little too closed-minded for my particular liking.

 

I couldn't agree more.

 

I agree 100%

 

Easy to tell he's a comedian. Just check who his heroes are.

 

Doesn't sound like George Carlin, (George would never pass FTEs filter...) I went to his website, www.georgecarlin.com and he talks about it.

Edit: Then I go looking on snopes and they link to this page, to the guy that clames to have written the original: http://www.freerepublic.com/forum/a3b21fbab4b27.htm

Says he's a writer and doesn't even get credit for his most famous work.

 

Yup, she's a phoney. There's another one that's kind of like that which is falsely attributed to Robin Williams.

http://urbanlegends.about.com/librar...=George+Carlin

 

Whoever wrote it was correct though.

 

I don't care who wrote it. I like it.

 

As I was reading this I was thinking "This ain't George Carlin!!!!" Carlin would be saying the exact opposite of this, Carlin is very, very, very liberal. Some of Carlin's older stuff is allright, but I can't stand to listen to his newer stuff. But that's JMHO.

Tim

 

Very well said. I couldn't agree more.

 

Um, I love it and it's been around for maybe three years. But I really doubt it was Carlin that wrote it, and Ted Nugent's name was also once attached to it. He and his wife loved it, but admitted publically that they too, are not the authors. It would be sweet to know who the REAL author is.

 

I'm a bad American too, I shoot critters, eat them and like it too!

 

Well-put, by whomever wrote it.

 

"I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in
English." Best part of the whole thing.


"I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse
Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the
problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?" - 2nd best part

Overall, I liked it.