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My girlfriend gets upset with me because I have a truck payment. She also gets upset with me because I tell her that when I buy a home, just like the average American I will have a mortgage. I was told that she will not marry me until everything is paid off in full. Her parents are upper class and paid for their house and cars all up front. I can't get her to understand that from my end of the economic poll we don't do that, we make payments monthly. I've been trying to explain to her that just because you have a mortgage or loan that your not in massive debt. I understand that technically you are in debt to someone for a certain amount of money but shes got those thoughts of bankruptcy and so forth. Anyone have any ideas on a better way of explaining how finances for lower and middle class America work?
Just tell her to get her parents to pay for your house and vehicles, everone wins! Just kidding, but if you're having these kind of problems now, imagine how it could be when you are married. Good luck!
Ask her how her family aquired all that wealth. Somebody worked for it the hard way like the rest of us do.
Then ask her if she can wait 20 years until the mortgage is paid off before the two of you get married.
I don't know what else to say. Debt is just a fact of life for pretty much everybody. And I don't want to sound negative, but maybe a prenup might be in order.
Beside getting her to read the entire content from these 3 links,plus the 30 or 40 more that can keep here busy,let her know that in about 20 years you will be almost ready to be a grandparent.
Are you two actually talking about getting married? Possibly her parents gave her valuable insight on finances, but she's taking it all to heart. Explain that credit cards are bad debt that hurt your credit. Mortgages and other loans for large objects can give you good credit, which can come in handy in case you have any unexpected expenses that are huge, like a baby. Which gives you some warning, I guess... but never think you're prepared... a little off topic there... so anyway, good luck with that, but it is possible she's setting you up for a fall... I hope that's not the case!
I would wish her well and tell her that I sincerely hope that she finds her guy with the big checkbook. Then I would seek out a girl that doesn't care what size my wallet was. When I met my wife I was going to school on the GI bill and making $129 a month. She knew that all she was getting was me, and that was enough for her ... we have been married 45 years.
Dono
Yes, if the girl is worried about YOUR finances then kick her to the curb. She'll just keep spending YOUR money if you let her. If she truly loved you she wouldn't care about your money.
Thanks guys, this is a weird situation. We've been together for about 3 years now so I'm not just going to kick her to the curb. It's just something we've always disagreed about. I just didn't want to feel weird when I just told her it's my way or the highway. It's not like I can just bust about a million dollars out of my pocket for cars and homes over the next five to six years.
Just because you've got 3 years "invested" in a girl doesn't mean it was necessarily a good investment... time shouldn't be the reason you keep her. If it's something else, that's fine and your business and all, but please don't tell us all you've got is time...