Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a
wire long after hypothermia has set in. Triple A is not an option. I
will win.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the
hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be
able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and
everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer and
break wind as a form of Holy Communion.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup
and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You
never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items
like "cumin" or "tofu" For all I know, these are the same thing. And
never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which"feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me
twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole
show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator .....applies to engineers mainly).

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
The answer is always sex, cars, fishing, football (or golf). I have to
make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your
mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her
any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay;
I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my
mother, too.

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you
are feeling amorous afterwards... then I will certainly remember the
name and recommend it to others.

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2005, I will share
equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest......like
wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You
look fine. Can we just go now?

This has been a public service message for women to better understand
the male. To make men's life easier please share it with other women to
help them understand that certain expectations on their part were not
necessarily agreed to by the male when their relationship was entered
into.

Dan

 

Just because you are man I know you are constantly watching this thread wondering & cussing as to why you don't have any replies.

So why your drinking your beer & cussing under your breath because you have 62 views and no replies I thought I would reply to make you the man feel better.

 

Roar!!!!!!!!

 

Dan, I just emailed this to my significant other. She called me and said it confirms her view of men, as sub-human. I thought what you said was pretty reasonable, except for the golf thing. I don't like golf. I think you put me in the dog house. But............... You're the man! Have another beer.

 

Because I am Man I will reply. Dude, most awesome description of Man.(except for the golf thing).

 

Your exactly right

 

I will do this task if desperatly needed. But I will expect some kind of payback in return. I usually never get the payback that I want though.

 

It's all in what you ask for.

 

and how you ask.

 

I usally found that if you ignore the woman she will no know bounds to get your attention. sometimes it's good and sometimes it's real BAD. A very good post, you must have come up with this between you second and third beer huh?!

 

Substitute "hammering on something in the shop" for "fishing, football (or golf)" and I am OK with it.

 

Because I am a man, it is my responsibility to sit at my computer drinking beer and post-whoring threads about truck forums about how women dont understand men. Thank you man


Because I am a man, I must thank you for propelling me into the next stage of man-hood, I am now an elder user, great now I feel old. O well, I can celebrate by drinking another beer.

 

Yeah you forgot the thrill of blowing things up and beating the crap out of stuff that doesn't work. If it doesn't work, you don't know how to fix it, and are probably going to get another, you find someway to mutilate it, safely.........or at least thats how I take care of it

 

Congrats on the elder part.

Because I am a man I WILL mark all four tires of my truck as a form of reward to the truck and a form of marking it as mine.

Because I am a man I WILL also mark my yard and the trees on my property as MINE.

Because I a man at work I will crack open a Diet Coke and wish I had it mixed with a tad of Moonbeam.

I AM ALLLLLL THAT IS MAAAAANNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!


(Anybody know what movie that is from)

 

The mans prayer:
I'm a man,
But I can change,
If I have to,
I guess.