So I had a date the other day with this girl. I don't meet that many girls to begin with, and those that I do I generally don't have a lot of chemistry with. This girl was totally different. She was funny, super smart, ambitious, and we really hit it off. I really liked this girl.

I asked her out again right there, and she said yes without hesitation. I told her I'd call her the next night and we'd work out the details. I did, and we ended up spending two hours on the phone chatting. We were going to go out again tonight and have dinner.

About two hours before we were supposed to be there, she called me up and cancelled. She told me she's been seeing another guy, and they just decided today to make it an exclusive thing. In fact, she said that he didn't want her to see other people, which I thought was an odd way to say that.

I'd only been out with her once, but I was pretty upset. I had a really good feeling about this one. I wasn't planning on marrying her, but I thought we'd at least go out a few times. I was so upset, I got into a fight with the couch, and ended up with a couple of sore knuckles.

So as it stands now, I have zero chance with this girl. We left it on good terms. I told her that if things changed, that she should call me. Now that I think about that, of course, I realize there's little chance of that ever happening.

I want to win her away from this joker, but I don't want to come across as a psycho while doing it. Any ideas? Or should I just get over it? It was only one date after all, but I have a pretty good feel for these kinds of things.

The last time I backed off a situation like this, and let the joker have the girl I wanted, I regretted it very much. They're still together, and it gnaws at me every time I think of her.

So should I stop being a whiner and forget it? Get on the phone with FTD? Send her a basket of baby chicks and ducks? Find out where the guys lives and loosen his brake line? (kidding about that last one) Do I just hope it falls through and she calls me a month from now? Call her a month from now, and say, hey, what's up?

I want to come out on top with this, someone out there has to have a better idea than I do.

edit: wow, sorry for the length. I tried to be brief!

 

It was only one date.. I'd forget that one and move one. Usually when they claim that," I decided to go back stuff "- she was either using you until she could get him back or she was cheating on him and doesn't want to get caught. That is about as old as sorry but I think you're A "NICE" guy - which means you are too boring and she would rather have a knuckle head that treats her like cr$p and stomps on her self esteem. Don't stay too stagnant on any of them....I sure wouldn't pick up that phone in the a month- why come in 2nd????

 

Girls suck!! Last sunday my girlfriend of a year decided to break it off for good because she claims we are not GOING ANY WHERE. I dont know what she means by that. I dont plan on getting married soon. I figured one day I will find a woman who can appreciate who I am for now I will have to wait again.

 

I'd take Ghostgunn's advice if it were me. I had about the same thing happen to me a while back and I wish I had just forgotten about it, luckliy it was still the tail end of quail season so I had other things to keep me company.

 

She met you, you went out, you talked on the phone. She now knows something about you and your personality. If she is interested she will contact you. All you can do by trying to "win" her is to look like someone who is weak and desperate.

She may realize shortly that she really likes you better, or she may not. No amount of calling, or asking, or begging, will make any difference if she has made up her mind.

If it is meant to be, it will happen, without you putting yourself through all this turmoil. I have been there. All that you will accomplish by trying to get her into a deeper relationship than she wants, is to push her further away.

Think of it this way. If you did "win" her by pressuring her into a relationship, you would have someone who is with you because she is weak emotionally, instead of being with you because she really cares.

It hurts, I know, believe me I know. I have made a fool of myself more than once in my time. But when the "right" one comes along you will know it deep inside.

 

Hey Andym dont worry about her, if it was me i would forget her and keep lookin there is plenty of fish in the sea. I had a simalar thing happen to me a few months ago this girl i was datin for a little over a month told me that she couldnt go out with me cause i was too nice, kinda stupid but ive always been a nice guy and cant hurt the ladies. so i am still searcin for a ladie that likes nice but wild guys

 

If things looked that good, try to keep an eye on her if you can w/o winning a restraining order.

If you could have dated hger a few more times, your opinion of her might have changed.

Your biggest chip in the pile here is that you left on good terms.

Don’t just pine away! Do what the above posts say and go on with your life.

Almost everyone has a story similar to this.


Just for the sake of discussion, I’ve always been confused with why decent woman stick with abusive guys. If you treat them like crap they’ll stay. If you treat them like people, it looks like thing get too boring and they prefer the excitement of negative attention.

 

To you guys above that are too nice. Don't be. I have about 1/2 dozen middle aged friends that to this day have never been married. WHy ?? Because girls see them as too nice. There was a day that it meant something to have manners, act proper, and to treat women in the highest regards. In my opinion, the modern women in most cases hate a guy that does this- seeing him as weak. Don't get me wrong I am not saying to be a jerk or a abuser, but rather find a fine line between treating them as royality or like $h*t. I have noticed all my friends that have been married 20-35 years are the controlling , cheating , and act like they don't care spouses. Too bad, but I think nice doesn't get you real far in most cases- maybe at best you can be their friend they cry to when their bad boy treats them rough. Don't ever go as far as to make a fool out of yourself to get or keep one, they will have you do it the rest of your life. The right one comes along, one that agrees with your treatment and one you agree of their treatment of you- Until then, you will mix with alot of messes

 

I am with Ghostgunn on this one. I dated a girl for 8 months and she decided she wanted to be "single", which i found out was code for "I met this other guy one night when i went out without you because you were visting a friend in the hospital". That was about a year ago, so far he has broken 3 telephones, put a hammer through one of her t.v.s, abused her animals and been arrested for battery on her in another state. They are still together. I treated her like a queen, foot massages, flowers, take her out to dinner at least twice a week. From now on, no more mister nice guy. I am all about treating woman with respect, but not her. As for you, it was one date. If it was meant to be, it will happen. If not, you are better off with the right one.

 

There's one right now looking just for you, Andy.

Don't laugh - it's true.

When you meet her you'll know it. Don't give up on yourself is the main thing.

BTW - write down my 1st sentence, stick on your frig, sunvisor, etc., and keep an eye out.

 

A last minute call to her. Just got tickets last minitute for something (sporting or ???) thinking of you. Can we go as friends? That way if things go south you can save face. Once she accepts, your time is short - you gotta go all the way with all the moves.
Plan B if she say's no have have buddy back up to see the show.
Take a chance - lifes to short

 

Thanks guys - time to move on, I guess. I'll drop her an e-mail in a month or so and see what's happening.

As my buddy says, they best way to get over one is to get it on with another.

I looked at the first post, and I was pretty down in the dumps when I wrote it. I feel better today.

And did anyone recognize the title of the thread from anywhere?

 

The title is from Norm on "Cheers", right?

 

Women, you can't live with 'em. Pass the beer nuts

Yep Norm on Cheers. It's my favourite quote, ever, Use it 5 times a week.

 

You said last time that you backed off you regretted it for a long time, then you met this girl. If you don't get this girl, you'll regret it for a while but then you will meet another, be patient.