The Header Says it all.

QUOTABLE QUOTES

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. -- Shirley Temple

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. -- Doug Lars

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. -- Bob Hope

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
-- Tom Lehrer

I was going to buy a copy of "The Power of Positive Thinking," and then I thought: What good would that do? -- Ronnie Shakes

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every 12 minutes one is interrupted by dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. --Rod Serling

Somewhere on this globe, every 10 seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. --Sam Levenson (1911-1980)

Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done. -- Ernie Kovacs

Always remember this: If you don't attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours.
-- H.L. Mencken

A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936)

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the United States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the 9 millimeter bullet. -- Dave Barry

This isn't right. It isn't even wrong. -- Wolfgang Pauli, on a paper submitted by a physicist colleague

Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money. -- Joey Bishop

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. -- Franklin P. Jones

Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now, blue-green meat, that's REALLY BAD for you. --Tommy Smothers

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. --Norm Crosby

The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist. -- Aaron Machado

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. -- Henny Youngman

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. -- Jay Leno

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. -- Darrin Weinberg

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life in which you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. -- Fran Lebowitz

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. -- H.L. Mencken

It ain't so much the things you don't know that get you in trouble. It's the things you know that just ain't so.
--Artimus Ward, 1834-1867




Dennis

"Please Don't Ask Me Any Tough Questions As I'm Saving My memory For When I Develop Alzheimer's"

1978 F-150 429CJ 4v,C6 Silver w/explorer package
1968 Mustang 289-2v Sunlit Gold 80,892 miles
1964 1/2 Mustang 260,Pre-World's Fair Car.
1964-Fairlane 500 S/C
Soon to be with a 390-4 spd.

 

Got a couple more for you. Don't know who sais them though.

"If all the lawyers in the world were placed end-to-end around the equator, we'd all be better off."

"An overdraft notice is a letter from the bank telling you that they want more of something which they already know you don't have any of."

Groucho Marx was once invited to join a snooty, exclusive social club. He replied, "Thank you for the invitation to join your club but I refuse to belong to any organization which would accept someone like me as a member."

 

Do you guys know who said,

"Speed equals money. How fast to you want to go?"

 

John Force!


Dennis

"Please Don't Ask Me Any Tough Questions As I'm Saving My memory For When I Develop Alzheimer's"
78 F-150 429CJ,Silver w/Explorer Pkge.
641/2-Mustang 260,Pre-World's Fair Car.
64-Fairlane500 S/C waiting for a 390-4spd.
68-Mustang 289-Sunlit Gold 80,892Mi
78-Buick LeSabre 403 4V
84 Volvo DL Wagon

 

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."--Albert Einstein

"Reality is for those who lack imagination"--Albert Einstein

"Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing"--Wernher von Braun

INLINE SIX POWER!
300 Cubic Inches of Low RPM Truck Torque! And twin-I-beams too!

 

Don't bother to run, you'll only die tired..... (unknown)

 

"I put spot remover on my dog, now I can't find him...."
Steven Wright

 

"I'll cross a lawyer with the Godfather, baby - Make you an offer that you CAN'T understand...." (Don Henley)

"Of all the things that I have lost, the one I miss the most is my sanity" (Unknown)

"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!" (Oz)

"For each and every fool-proof system, there exists at least ONE system-proof fool..."

"Love is defined as that condition wherein someone elses health, happiness, and well-being is essential to your own" (Jubal Harshaw)

"Whenever things look really bad, I just say to myself; 'It could get worse.' -And sure enough, it gets WORSE..." (the Great Skeeve)

 

"Can't never did anything." (my mama)

Mike

 

Opinions: He that never changed any of his opinions never corrected any of his mistakes; and he who was never wise enough to find out any mistakes in himself will not be charitable enough to excuse what he reckons mistakes in others. -unknown

 

[updated:LAST EDITED ON 11-Feb-02 AT 06:57 PM (EST)]A sign seen one summer while viiting a roadside farm stand in Pennsylvania --- "If our eggs were any fresher you could hear the hen's a** slammin shut" .....
My favorite quote: "The trouble with the future is that it's here before you're ready for it" (can't remember the author .... I don't have alzheimers, just partimers)

 

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, PASS THEM ON TO SOMEONE ELSE.

 

"The more I learn, the less I know." source unknown

"Keep your problem in mind as a circle, with an infinite number of sides and an infinite number of ways of looking in at it, with an infinite number of solutions, however only one can be the best." Chuck P.

When things beyond your control have you down, "It don't matter, it just don't matter." Mr. Petkosh (sorry if incorrectly spelled, only been over 20 years!) English/Lit teacher at MCHS

 

I really like that one, When things beyond your control... it was so right. I know a couple people who go on and on and on... about things they have no control over or any say so in and it is maddening. If you are passionate about something enough to *itch about it, then go do something about it.

 

"if it don't fit force it,if it breaks..i guess it wasn't supposed to go anyway." (unkown)

"O.K. and the reason you feel i should care about your stupid little problems is.... (me)