My daughter used to work for a telemarketing service, and she had to work from scripts - using fake names and fake stories. She finally quit because she couldn't stand all the lying.

 

Act distraught and respond by saying (person their asking for) died last tuesday. That always gets them off the phone real fast. Plus its fun to hear a telemarketer apologise.

When I feel feisty I usually just act like special ed. YAY!

 

usually i'm polite, listen to the sales pitch, tell them i'm not interested. if its for a credit card or some other scam i tell them they i think they should consider finding honest work. i did a little telemarketing years ago. i even pushed vacuum cleaners. they showed me how their scams worked. but i had some serious moral doubts with these jobs and couldn't sell

i had to find real work, break my back to earn an honest living, so should they. these call centres are full of losers not good to be around them anyway. kids too lazy to work, loser wannabes with fake gold chains think they're going to get rich.

now i get the door to door salesmen. especially in spring they want to sweep my chimney, clean my carpets. always some story that my fire insurance will be invalid if they don't do this or that, i'm going to get mold, asthma from dust mites. thing is i read the classified ads every day. i know who's starting what every spring because they're always looking for salesmen, telemarketers, guys to clean furnaces, no experience necessary. my *** i'm going to let a couple of crooks with a van screw around with my furnace. my neighbor had her driveway done and now she's trying to sue them because they did it half ***.

 

I had a company call that sells/installs siding. I was renting a apartment at the time and it was a rather large building. I gave the lady approx size of the house, explained that I had lots of windows and inquired if they could put this over brick. Kept her on the phone for about 20 minutes or so. She was all excited until she asked about how I would be paying for that and about financing it. I told her she would have to take that up with the landlord......CLICK

 

I usually use the dead response. They mangle my name, and I say he died. Usually works. But once, I must have had a soul-less telemarketer. He called to offer my wife a credit card. I told him she had died. His response: "You must have had a lot of unexpected expenses. Maybe you would like to receive one of our cards." I just hung up. What can you say to that?

If they call during dinner, I quiz them. What time is it? What time is it where you are? What time is it where I am? Do you even know where I am? What do people usually do this time of day? One gal called, claiming to be in O-range (how she pronounced it) CA. I asked her what time it was. She must have looked at her watch, because she was way off. I got out the atlas and did a little math. The time zone was Delhi, India. Ain't outsourcing great? I asked one if she knew what time it was in Kansas. She didn't know. I then asked where she was. Her response: "Dallas". Same time zone.

 

I have AT&T unlimited long distance on my home phone for a flat fee on $25.00 a month. Damn I'm always on the phone long distance. I even dial the internet long distance for a better connection.

Gatta get my moneys worth you know....


dakota_viking

You the man!! Regardless of what everyone else here has been saying in secret threads that you don't know about behind your back!!!!


I had one call me on Christmas Day a few years ago. They called 3 different times that day. I was polite to them & hung up because I was in that Christmassy mood. The second time they called I was upset & opened a can of woopass on them till I violently hung up the phone. The third time they called back just so they can violently hang the phone up on me.


I also had a woman call one day. She sounded sexy so I thought I would play. I asked her all kinds of personal sexual questions till she was crying & hung up.

I also had a man call my cell phone. Now this man was not a telemarketer, he was a loan officer with a bank I was trying to get a loan from.
He asked who I was & I asked who he was. He wouldn't tell me so I wouldn't tell him. I finally got upset thinking it was a telemarketer on my cell phone that I just became vulgar.
Called him all types of foul names to the point he was in disbelief & hung up. I thought I would give him a call back (thinking he was a telemarketer & caller ID number was on my phone). A woman answered and said "Thank you for calling Bank of America, How may I direct your call?"

Needless to say, I never got the loan.

 

If someone calls me and I ask them to identify themselves, they darn well better identify themselves. It's MY phone so I'm paying for the privelige of knowing who is on the line. My first response to absolutely everyone who calls me is "Whos calling, please?" (except for those who I know and can identify by their voice). If it's nobody I know then I say "no thanks, remove me from your list" and hang up. I don't wish to make time for people like that, I got other things to do (like watching paint dry).

 

I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!

That's why I keep seeing all of those blank subject lines in the directories! And when I open them up, I keep getting the "You are not authorized to view this page because people are talking about you!" warning.


OK...I can take a hint....you pick on one person about their foil hat and look what happens!!!

OK....If you guys will stop talking about me behind my back, I'll go put on my foil hat, sit in my mesh wire RF shielded computer cage and go back to typing everything in Klingon dialect so you guy will like me again!


This is Beldar Q37P signing out....Nanoo Nanoo!

 

One time i put some peanutbutter on the mic part of the phone and gave it to the dog. When i picked it up they were gone, go figure...

 

what do u do to irritate telemarketers?

I should have simply said........









Answer the phone

 

If I have one ready, a nice raunchy belch seems to do the trick quite nicely. The ones that don't hang up immediately burst out in laughter.

 

That reminds me of a really obnoxious guy that wouldn't take "no" for an answer, so I put the phone up against my butt and ripped off a winner (3.5 on the rectal scale). My wife was watching, and about fell on the floor - but she made me wash the phone before she would use it again.

If you're ever in India, and see a fellow named Dave, with a scorched, ugly, mutilated ear surrounded by singed hair, you'll know he used to be a telemarketer.

 

that's the best one so far!! i want somebody to call me right now so i can put peanut butter on the phone... my girlfriend's gonna love that

 

i usually give the phone to my daughter.. she is 8 and she is great is at annoying the telemarketers...

 

I like to just start talkin to them. This one time i told the guy i gotta fart and he was all like "ok dude do it!" so i did and he died laughing. Great people when you start talkin.