Oh the things I find while surfing!














Redneck Engineering Exam

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? a) '66 Ford Fairlane b) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle c) '64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?
4. A pulpwood cutter has chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The lot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?
8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain? For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?
9. A Coal Mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?

 

What's funny is that it took me until #4 to catch on that it's a joke!

 

That was pretty good King. You have a knack for finding odd ball stuff.

 

1. About a 2" limb, unless shes got youngins
2. The chevy will rust fastest.
3. 2 car radiators or 1 truck radiator
4. A little math (470x2.3x14)+2700rpm = 2 trip for beer in the truck
5. ozone?
6. 4 dogs, 6 if its summertime, 6 plus grampa if its evenin
7. yes but the last one is down by the creck
8. 3 will swerve. 1 had a muffler (they was visitin)
9. this was easy 120 packs
10. dont know, but we's measurin right now

 

Yea. Pronounced: O'zun'ee
That thin peice of leather you get from the foot of a neet.

 

Good One

Can't find my truck with all this tall grass.

 

hehehehehe gotta forward this one

 

went looking in mangakino (that is the hole of the north island (inbreeders abound) ) for some motor parts for an undisclosable brand - and there was this guy's house it had been repaired with corogated iron and plywood - the deck had sunk so much that there were planks across it so you wouldn't fall through - also the dog walked funny - (think they have a ratio of 20 men to 1 woman - also 200 sheep to 1 man - but i'm sure he could answer some of your questions

 

so who is gradin this test ?

 

Shucks,I kin graid it.I wes da smartis ked in da 8fh graid fur 4yers strate!

 

So how do I check my answers?? Ask "Pa"?

Good one KT!

STan

 

I can say pretty conclusively that whomever scores highest on the test will be in the running for a leadership job at the warehouse I work in...

 

Get back to work Farm!

 

 

Dang... busted again!

Oh well, I love my job....