This lady is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out. She has a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party starts, two bums show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some wood out back. Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house.
Guests arrive, and all is going well with the children, they're a wonderful time. But the clown has not shown up... finally, the clown calls to report that he is stuck in traffic, and will probably not make the party at all. The woman is very disappointed and unsuccessfully tries to entertain the children herself.
She happens to look out the window and sees one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watches in awe as he swings from tree branches, does midair flips, and leaps high in the air!
She speaks to the other bum and says, "What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous! I have never seen such a thing... do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $50!"
The bum replies, "Well, I dunno. Let me ask him... Hey, Neil! For $50, would you be willing to chop off another toe?!"

 

And the best form of birth control for people over 50.....
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NUDITY