Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the
air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. 10,001 live in Texas.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

There ain't nuthin' that will kill a mesquite tree.

There are valid reasons some people put concertino (razor) wire
around their house.

Texas has 6 seasons:
Spring, Feb. 16 to April 15
Summer, April 16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
Super Summer, July 16 to Sept. 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees)
Summer, Sept. 11 to Oct. 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
Fall, Oct. 2 to Dec. 1
Winter, Dec. 2 to Feb. 15

In West and North Texas, the wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until July 15, then it stops totally.

Onced and Twiced are words.

Fire ants consider your body a picnic area.

Graduating 1st in your class means you left in the 8th grade.

Coldbeer is one word.

People actually grow and eat Okra and Black Eyed Peas.

Texans really don't have an accent.

When the world ends, cockroaches, termites and mesquite trees will survive.

Green grass DOES burn.

When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City
people dropthem off at your gate in the middle of the night.


The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the
first couple of weeks.

When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go
to the Doctor.

Fixinto is one word.

If I know everything about a subject, then I know it 'backards and
fards'.

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.


You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

Texans will laugh harder at this than anyone else because they all
KNOW these facts are true!!

Y'allllll come on back now...y'hear!