this probly isn't place to get help, but im at my wits end... recently my fiance broke it off w/me because my mother (who hates her) told her several very hurtful lies about me, and she wont believe that thats exactly what they are, a lie...... i have come to my senses that i will most likley never regain what i once had with her, but how are you supposed to deal with that other than getting trashed?
-(NAME WITHHELD) (this is my bros account)

 

First off I'd find out why your mother has issues with people you date. Remind her that it's YOUR relationship and not her's. If your former fiance isn't willing to hear you out and trust you now then I don't suspect she would be any easier to work with after you were married. I'm not saying you shouldn't work on it but at the same time this might be some good insight as to how she is and how she thinks of you.

My advice is don't do anything foolish just because you're depressed and unhappy . . . I know, it's easy to do. There are always more women out there and no matter how worked up you feel over this one you'll find another, in time, who will treat you better. That is, if your fiance doesn't come back to you.

 

yeah man, every guy knows what it feels like to see the girl they 'love' walk out the door.... i understand the part about getting insight on how she might be, however, with what my old lady told her i would do the same.... anyhting i could say to get her back?

 

OH NO!!! Not another 'need your advice...' about marital/pre-marital issues!!! Did we learn nothing yesterday from the 'I suspect my wife is cheating on me, but I failed to mention that I flirt with everyone and am a horndog?'

If you finance left over your mom, then take a long hard look at that... yeah your mom's a loon and hates the women you date, but your woman snaps and ditches the one she was supposed to commit her life too?! AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

 

In my experiences, I found that if my mother didn't like the girl I was dating, there was some reason behind it. Call it mother's intuition.

Big deal your mom made up some lies. If she hadn't, there would be tension between her and your fiancee (as there already was) and time doesn't heal that kind of thing. Your mother is your mother, and your fiancee is your fiancee. The both of them aren't going change, or back down from each other, and you will be stuck in the middle every time.

 

I agree with part of what BigRig says but at the same time grown men don't have to get their mother's approval on people they date. Save that stuff for the teenage kiddies! Still, if she left that easy it wasn't worth the hassle, IMO. Still, I would give mom a swift kick in the butt (okay, not really) and ask her what her deal is and why she's causing problems for you or you might have a LONG life of messed up relationships. Throw Mama From the Train!!!

 

You wouldn`t be throwin my momma from no train,less ya wanted a hernia!
But seriously If this girl really loves you,then there is nothing that anybody can say to change that,she obviously must know your mom somewhat and if these things that mom said are not true,she will be back,on the other hand if she doesn`t then momma`s female intuition paid off before you got into a nightmare marriage.Good Luck,and remember that the girls just love guys with big,,,,,,,,um,,,,,,,,Ford Trucks!

 

Get over it, you aren't going to win this one, use it as a learning experience.

 

one, there plenty of fish in the sea
two, mothers intuition is good(even though it look blind right now)
three, If she split because of problems with your mother, then she can go to He**(the fiance, not mom)

 

Anyone who thinks that it's OK for their Mom to lie about then to intentionally ruin a relationship is WACK!
Stop letting your Mom use your sack as a purse! We have no idea what the full story is. What are the dynamics of the relationships at work here? How old is everyone involved? How long have you been with the fiancee? Is your mother an addict of any kind? What were the lies?

edit- I can't believe that was 100th post

 

Your mother was probably right. She was not the right one for you. Keep looking, there are plenty of them out there. If you make the wrong choice, it will cost you time and a lot of money.

 

whatever you do don't send you fiance an e-mail with a link to this thread just a thought from the last thread like this

 

hey dzervit , You didn't like my post the other day?

 

The mother is not always right. I had a mother in law from hell, for 15 years. The last 5 years, we didn't speak to each other. And my ex didn't speak with her for a few years in between also. Let's just say she was and still is a very cruel woman. I can give you stories of the things she has done. She pushed my ex down the stairs one time, when they were fighting. And all of the lies she said to cause problems within our family, even dragging my mother into it. But the one thing that stands out is that she barely likes my daughters, her grandchildren, because they are mine. Children by her only child and son.
One time when my girls were 4 and 7, during summer school vacation. My mother in law was going to watch them for the day. It was one of those really hot days, around in the high 90's. I called her to check on them around 2Pm, and my oldest got on the phone. She was crying, because she was really hot, and my mother in law didn't want them in her house, where there is air conditioning. They were outside, all day, in the heat like dogs. Needless to say, my maternal instinct kicked in, and I went rabid.

Anyways, I won't go into it anymore. But first off. You need to straighten out your mom, and tell her to stay out of your life. If she is like this with one, she will be like this with all of the girls you bring home, unless she picks her out for you. As for your fiance, granted she probably believed what your mom said. But then again, maybe she is thinking that she doesn't want to deal with that woman for the rest of her married life. In any case, she should give you a chance to explain.
Good luck, and I hope everything works out for you.

Robin

Sorry for the long post.

 

well I've had that happen before. But if she would rather believe your mother than you I'd say dumper and move on. How can you trust someone who would rather believe your mother than believe you.