beer warnings
Thread Starter
|
Senior User
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 305
Likes: 0
From: woodland ca
beer warnings
WARNING: The consumption of beer may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
(Apparently this has happened to several people?!)
WARNING: The consumption of beer may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of beer is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary
(whose species and or name you can't remember).
WARNING: The consumption of beer is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
WARNING: Beer may contain female hormones.
According to a recent beer study conducted by Health Canada:
Scientists suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the theory 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each within a ONE-HOUR period. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.
No further testing is planned.
(Apparently this has happened to several people?!)
WARNING: The consumption of beer may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of beer is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary
(whose species and or name you can't remember).
WARNING: The consumption of beer is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
WARNING: The consumption of beer may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
WARNING: Beer may contain female hormones.
According to a recent beer study conducted by Health Canada:
Scientists suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the theory 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each within a ONE-HOUR period. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.
No further testing is planned.
Postmaster
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 3,918
Likes: 0
From: Michigan
